There’s a stark contrast between loving someone and being loved in return, and loving someone who only has room in their heart for themselves.

This disparity often comes down to emotional awareness.

Loving a self-centered person means consistently putting their needs above your own, while they remain oblivious to your feelings.

Unfortunately, recognizing you’re in this situation isn’t always easy. However, there are certain painful signs that can indicate you’re pouring your love into a bottomless pit.

I’m here to share with you the painful signs you’re loving someone who’s only capable of loving themselves.

These red flags could be the wake-up call you need to reassess your emotional investment and start focusing on self-love.

Remember, it’s important to love wisely, not blindly.

1) Constant self-centeredness

In every relationship, it’s natural for each person to have their own needs and wants.

However, when you’re in love with someone who’s only capable of loving themselves, their needs and desires consistently overshadow yours.

This person always puts themselves first, even at the expense of your feelings or well-being.

You may find yourself constantly making sacrifices and compromises while they remain seemingly oblivious to your efforts.

Their world revolves around them, and they expect yours to do the same.

This is a painful sign that you’re pouring love into a person who has a hard time stepping outside of their own ego. 

A healthy relationship should be a two-way street, not a one-way road leading only to their satisfaction.

Awareness is the first step to change.

If this sign resonates with your relationship, it’s time to reevaluate your emotional investment and consider seeking mutual respect and consideration.

2) Lack of emotional reciprocity

I remember a time when I was entirely convinced that I’d found my soulmate. We shared laughter, memories, and countless hours talking about everything and nothing.

However, there was always a lingering feeling of emptiness.

Whenever I needed emotional support or just someone to share my day with, I would find myself alone.

My supposed soulmate was never available when it came to my needs and feelings.

While they were always eager to share their triumphs and trials, they were noticeably absent when it was my turn to need a shoulder.

I was in love with someone who was only capable of loving themselves.

The lack of emotional reciprocity was a glaring sign – a sign that I initially chose to ignore.

If you find yourself in a similar situation where your emotional needs are consistently unmet, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate.

Nobody should have to beg for love and attention in a relationship that’s meant to be based on mutual care and support.

3) Absence of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, a vital component in any healthy relationship.

Without it, emotional connections can dry up and leave you feeling isolated.

In a relationship with someone who only loves themselves, this absence of empathy is painfully clear.

They struggle to understand your feelings and point of view, especially when it conflicts with their own.

Interestingly, research shows that empathy is not a fixed trait. It can be nurtured and developed over time.

For someone fixated on their own needs and desires, cultivating empathy often falls by the wayside.

When your partner consistently fails to show understanding or compassion for your feelings, it’s a warning sign that their capacity for love may only extend to themselves.

4) Ignoring your boundaries

Boundaries are a fundamental part of any healthy relationship. They keep us safe, help us maintain our self-esteem, and ensure that our needs are met.

When you’re in love with someone who’s only capable of loving themselves, however, these boundaries often get ignored or disrespected.

Your partner may constantly push your limits or disregard your feelings in favor of their own desires.

This could range from smaller infringements, like constantly showing up late for plans you’ve made together, to more serious violations like refusing to acknowledge your emotional needs.

Having your boundaries consistently overlooked is not only disrespectful but also emotionally draining.

It’s a painful sign that you’re involved with someone who values their needs above yours and lacks the ability to genuinely care for another person.

5) Constant criticism

Criticism, when constructive, can help us grow and improve.

But when it’s constant and destructive, it can break down your self-esteem and leave you feeling unworthy.

If you’re in love with someone who’s only capable of loving themselves, you may find yourself on the receiving end of an endless stream of criticism.

Everything from your appearance to your choices could be under constant scrutiny.

Their need to feel superior and in control often manifests in belittling those around them.

This unending critique isn’t about helping you grow; it’s about keeping you small and feeding their ego.

Experiencing constant criticism without any constructive intent is a clear sign that you’re giving your love to someone incapable of returning it in a healthy, respectful manner.

6) The feeling of loneliness

Loving someone should make you feel cherished, valued, and far from alone.

Yet, when you love someone who’s only capable of loving themselves, you might experience a profound sense of loneliness, even when they’re right beside you.

This loneliness doesn’t stem from physical absence but emotional distance.

You could be sharing the same space, or even the same bed, but the emotional connection is missing.

Their inability to genuinely connect on an emotional level leaves a void that’s hard to fill.

This deep-seated loneliness is one of the most painful signs that you’re in love with a self-absorbed individual.

It’s a stark reminder that love isn’t just about being together; it’s about feeling connected and cherished by your partner.

7) One-sided conversations

I vividly recall countless dinners, where the conversation was entirely one-sided.

My partner would talk about their day, their dreams, their interests, with little to no interest in hearing about mine.

Occasionally, I would try to steer the conversation towards something I was excited about or a concern I was dealing with.

Yet, each time, the topic would swiftly shift back to them. My words barely acknowledged, my feelings brushed aside.

One-sided conversations are a clear sign that you’re in a relationship with a person who’s only capable of loving themselves.

They dominate discussions, leaving little room for your thoughts and feelings.

This lack of balanced communication can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant in the relationship.

8) Unfulfillment of promises

Promises are not just words; they are commitments that help build trust in a relationship.

If you’re in love with someone who’s only capable of loving themselves, you may find that their promises rarely turn into actions.

They might promise to give more attention to your needs, to be more present, or to make changes that improve your relationship. But these commitments often fall flat.

Their actions fail to match their words, leaving you disappointed and questioning their sincerity.

A pattern of unfulfilled promises is a painful sign that you’re in a relationship with someone who puts their self-interest above your shared commitments.

It underscores an underlying disregard for your feelings and expectations.

9) Lack of genuine remorse

One of the most telling signs that you’re loving someone who’s only capable of loving themselves is their lack of genuine remorse.

When they hurt you, they might offer a superficial apology, but it often lacks sincerity and is usually followed by repeated instances of the same hurtful behavior.

They struggle to accept accountability for their actions and show true remorse because, in their world, they can do no wrong.

This inability to genuinely apologize and make amends reveals an alarming lack of empathy and emotional maturity.

A sincere apology isn’t just about saying the words; it’s about understanding the hurt caused, taking responsibility, and making conscious efforts to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-love

At the core of human existence, our relationships play a significant role in shaping our lives.

When you find yourself loving someone who’s only capable of loving themselves, it can be a painful reality to face.

Lucille Ball once said, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”

This essentially means that for someone to genuinely love and care for another, they first need to love and respect themselves.

If you’ve noticed these signs in your relationship, it’s important to remember that their inability to love you is not a reflection of your worth, but of their own struggles with self-love and empathy.

In conclusion, the most profound relationship you can have is the one with yourself.

As you navigate through these challenges, remember to prioritize self-love and self-respect. It’s okay to choose your happiness and emotional well-being over a toxic relationship.

After all, only when we truly love ourselves can we open our hearts to love others healthily and wholly.