8 signs you’re the person people tolerate but don’t actually want around—without even realizing it

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | October 14, 2025, 1:09 pm

Sometimes, the line between being well-liked and merely tolerated can be a bit blurry.

It’s possible that you’re that person—the one who’s present in the group, but not necessarily wanted around.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but recognizing this can be the first step in improving your social relationships.

In many cases, people might not outright tell you they’re merely tolerating you.

They could be doing so out of politeness or to avoid confrontation. However, there are subtle signs that can tip you off.

In this article, I’ll share eight indicators that you might be the person people put up with but don’t particularly enjoy having around.

And, importantly, I’ll give some tips on how to turn these situations around.

It’s all about communication—whether it’s improving your interactions with friends or professional editing.

1) One-sided conversations

Ever noticed how most of your conversations tend to be dominated by the other person’s stories, ideas, or interests?

You might be in a situation where you’re mostly listening, nodding, and offering little input of your own.

This could be because the person you’re interacting with is unconsciously attempting to steer the conversation towards topics they find enjoyable.

It’s their subtle way of tolerating your presence without engaging too much in what you have to say.

It can be a tricky situation to navigate. After all, we all want to show interest in others.

But if it’s consistently one-sided, it might indicate that they’re putting up with you rather than genuinely enjoying your company.

The key here is to strike a balance. It’s about ensuring that both parties get a chance to express themselves and contribute to the conversation.

Just like in any good editing process, effective communication involves both speaking and listening.

2) Frequent interruptions

Personally, I’ve been in situations where I’d be sharing a story or an idea, and before I could even finish, someone else would jump in and take over the conversation.

It would sometimes leave me feeling like my input wasn’t valued or appreciated.

This could be another sign of being tolerated rather than genuinely wanted around.

People might interrupt you more frequently because they’re not truly interested in what you have to say.

They might do this subtly, perhaps not even realizing it themselves.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step in addressing it.

The next time you’re interrupted, politely but assertively steer the conversation back to your point.

It’s like proofreading a document – when you spot an error, you correct it to improve the overall quality of the text.

3) Lack of follow-up

You know how it goes. You’re at a party or a gathering, and you share an exciting piece of news about your life.

Perhaps you’ve started a new job or you’re planning a trip to an exotic location. But then, days pass and nobody checks back with you on this.

Interestingly, studies have shown that people are more likely to follow up on information or news shared by those they genuinely like and are interested in.

If the follow-ups are few and far between, it could mean that people are just tolerating your presence.

But don’t let this dishearten you. Use it as an opportunity to engage others more effectively and show them that you too are interested in their life stories.

Communication is a two-way street, after all.

4) Invites are scarce

If you find yourself constantly being the one to initiate plans or if you’re often the last one to know about a gathering, it might be a sign that you’re just being tolerated.

When people genuinely enjoy your company, they’ll naturally want to include you in their plans and spend more time with you.

However, don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. People might simply forget to invite you or assume you’re busy.

Open communication can help clear up any misunderstandings and improve your relationships.

5) You feel left out

Sometimes, it’s not about what others do or say, but how they make you feel.

You might often find yourself feeling left out or excluded during group conversations or activities.

This feeling of being ‘on the outside’ can be quite disheartening.

It’s important to remember, though, that everyone’s experience is valid. Your feelings are your own and they matter.

If you’re consistently feeling sidelined, it might be worth having a heart-to-heart conversation with your friends or acquaintances.

After all, understanding and empathy are the cornerstones of any strong relationship, just like they are in providing quality services in any field.

6) Disinterest in your well-being

There was a time when I was going through a difficult phase, and I found that some people around me didn’t seem to take an interest in how I was doing.

They would engage in casual small talk, but never inquire about my well-being or how I was handling the situation.

If you find that people rarely ask about your personal life or show concern for your well-being, it could be a sign that they are merely tolerating you.

Genuine relationships are characterized by mutual care and interest in each other’s lives.

It’s okay to voice your feelings. It’s all about establishing open lines of communication.

7) Lack of eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can indicate interest, attention, and respect.

If you notice that people seldom maintain eye contact with you during conversations, it might be a sign that they’re not entirely invested in the interaction.

Don’t let this discourage you. Instead, see it as an opportunity to work on your communication skills.

Engage others with interesting topics and show genuine interest in what they have to say. After all, effective communication is key in any relationship.

8) They’re polite, but distant

Politeness is a social norm that we all adhere to.

But if you find that people around you are consistently polite yet distant, it might indicate that they’re tolerating your presence.

People who genuinely enjoy your company will show warmth and closeness.

They’ll engage with you on a deeper level, beyond the surface-level politeness.

If you’re facing the opposite, it’s crucial to address this issue head-on. Open and honest communication can help bridge the gap and improve your relationships.

Final thoughts: It’s all about communication

Understanding social cues and navigating interpersonal relationships can be a complex task.

It’s like a dance, where both partners need to move in harmony to create a beautiful performance.

If you’ve identified with some of these signs, don’t be disheartened. Remember, awareness is the first step towards improvement.

Being the person that people merely tolerate doesn’t define your worth.

It’s just an indication that there’s room for growth in your communication skills and social interactions.

Leo Buscaglia once said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

It’s worth making the effort to improve your social connections. Not just for others but for your own happiness and well-being too.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to find our place in this vast, interconnected world.