There’s a fine line between being supportive and becoming everyone’s go-to therapist.

We all know that feeling of catering to everyone else’s needs, while our own take a backseat.

It’s almost like we become the unsung heroes of emotional support, always there to lend an ear, but never quite the priority.

Being everyone’s therapist is one thing, but what happens when you’re not anyone’s priority?

Well, it’s a situation too many of us find ourselves in.

In this piece, we’ll dive into the sevn telltale signs you’re everyone’s therapist but nobody’s priority.

We’ll explore this often overlooked aspect of relationships and friendships, giving you an insight into your own dynamics.

Grab a cup of tea or coffee, and let’s delve into the subtleties of human interaction that make us feel valued or overlooked:

1) You’re the first to know

It’s a common scenario for many of us—when there’s a crisis, you’re the first one on speed dial.

Friends, family, even colleagues seem to gravitate towards you with their problems.

From relationship woes to work dilemmas, you’ve heard it all.

You provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and advice that seems to be just what they need.

But here’s the catch: When it comes to your own problems, these same people are nowhere to be found.

They’re busy, unavailable, or simply unresponsive.

Suddenly, when it’s your turn to lean on them for support, they’ve got a million things on their plate.

2) You feel like nobody reciprocates

I remember a time when I had a friend who would constantly call me to vent about her life.

Late-night phone calls, long texts venting about her problems, you name it.

I was always there for her, providing advice and comfort whenever she needed it.

One day, I was going through a rough patch myself.

So, I decided to reach out to her, hoping for some emotional support in return.

To my surprise, she brushed off my concerns and quickly changed the subject back to her own issues.

It was a wake-up call: I realized that our relationship was heavily one-sided.

I was always there for her, but when I needed a listening ear, she wasn’t there for me.

It’s important to have balance in relationships—both giving and receiving emotional support.

3) You’re always the initiator

In any kind of relationship, communication should flow both ways, but what happens when you’re always the one reaching out?

People who constantly initiate contact or make plans often feel undervalued in their relationships.

This is because they put in more effort and receive less in return.

If you find yourself constantly checking in on others, initiating plans, and making sure they’re okay, but rarely receiving the same attention, you may well be everyone’s therapist and nobody’s priority.

A balanced relationship involves mutual effort—if it feels like you’re doing all the work, it might be time to reassess.

4) Your own problems are minimized

Have you ever shared your problems, only to have them dismissed or overshadowed by someone else’s issues? This could be another sign that you’re everyone’s therapist but not a priority.

You might hear phrases like “at least it’s not as bad as…”, or “you should be grateful because…”

These statements, while possibly meant to provide perspective, can actually minimize your feelings and experiences.

Everyone’s struggles are valid and deserve attention.

If your problems are frequently downplayed while others’ issues take center stage, it might be time to reassess these relationships.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who value your feelings as much as their own.

5) You feel drained

I can recall countless nights where I’ve stayed up late, lending an ear to a distressed friend.

At the end of these conversations, I would often find myself feeling exhausted, both mentally and physically.

Despite the fatigue, I would suppress my feelings, convincing myself that it was my duty to help.

However, over time, this left me feeling emotionally drained and burnt out.

Feeling consistently drained after interactions is a strong sign that your emotional boundaries may be compromised.

We often underestimate the toll that constantly caring for others can take on our own mental health, so it’s important to understand that taking care of yourself first isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

6) You’re taken for granted

There’s a difference between being needed and being taken for granted.

If you find that your help and support are expected, rather than appreciated, it’s a clear sign that you’re being taken for granted.

Your time, effort, and emotional labor are valuable, and should be acknowledged as such.

It’s important to remember that being everyone’s therapist doesn’t mean you should be everyone’s doormat.

You have the right to demand respect and appreciation for your efforts.

7) You’re neglecting your own needs

The most essential sign that you’re everyone’s therapist but nobody’s priority is the neglect of your own needs.

If you’re spending so much time and energy caring for others that you’re neglecting your own well-being, it’s time to press pause.

Whether it’s missing out on sleep, skipping meals, or just not having time for self-care, these are all signs that you’re putting others’ needs before your own.

Your needs are important; your feelings matter.

These aren’t just phrases to remember, but values to live by.

Don’t lose sight of your own well-being while supporting others.

Final thoughts: It’s about balance

The dynamics of human relationships are a complex interplay of emotions, expectations, and boundaries.

When we find ourselves in the role of everyone’s therapist but nobody’s priority, it’s crucial to remember—your emotional health matters too.

This isn’t about turning your back on those who need you, but about finding a balance.

It’s essential to draw boundaries and ensure that your own emotional needs are met.

After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Reflecting on these signs is the first step towards fostering healthier, more balanced relationships.

It’s not just about being there for others, because it’s equally important to be there for yourself.