Psychology says people who do these 7 things are deeply lonely and unhappy

Tara Whitmore by Tara Whitmore | January 18, 2025, 11:02 am

Loneliness isn’t always loud. It doesn’t always look like someone sitting alone in a coffee shop or scrolling endlessly through their phone.

Sometimes, it hides behind forced smiles, busy schedules, and even seemingly confident behavior.

The truth is, deeply lonely and unhappy people don’t always realize they’re struggling—until the signs start showing up in their daily lives.

Psychology has studied loneliness for years, and the patterns are clear. Certain behaviors tend to surface when someone feels disconnected, even if they’re surrounded by people.

And the tricky part? Many of these behaviors aren’t obvious at first.

In this article, we’ll go over seven things people do when they’re secretly battling loneliness and unhappiness.

If any of these hit close to home, don’t panic—recognizing the signs is the first step to turning things around.

1. Isolating themselves from others

This is perhaps the most common sign of deep loneliness and unhappiness.

When people are feeling this way, they may start to pull away from family and friends. It’s not something they necessarily choose to do; sometimes, it just happens.

For example, you might notice that a formerly outgoing person has become increasingly withdrawn and prefers to stay home alone. They might stop responding to messages or turn down invitations to hang out.

It’s as if they’re building walls around themselves, keeping the outside world at a distance.

Psychology explains that this self-isolation is a defense mechanism. When you’re feeling lonely and unhappy, it can feel safer to avoid social interactions than to risk feeling rejected or misunderstood.

But in reality, this isolation only serves to deepen feelings of loneliness.

It’s important to understand that if someone you know is isolating themselves, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to be reached out to. They might be struggling with their emotions and not know how to express them or ask for help.

By recognizing this behavior, we can better understand their emotional state and offer support when they need it most.

2. Overworking

Believe it or not, throwing oneself into work can be a sign of deep loneliness and unhappiness.

This might seem puzzling at first. After all, isn’t hard work a good thing? And isn’t it often seen as a sign of dedication and commitment?

However, psychology suggests that when work becomes an escape route from dealing with personal emotions and feelings, it’s not a healthy behavior anymore.

People might immerse themselves in their jobs as a way to distract from their inner turmoil.

It’s like they’re using work as a shield to protect themselves from confronting their loneliness and unhappiness. They might convince themselves that they’re too busy to feel lonely or that their professional success will fill the void in their personal lives.

When work becomes a person’s only source of fulfillment and satisfaction, it might indicate that they’re struggling with deep-seated feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

It’s crucial to understand this so we can help them find balance and address the root causes of their emotional distress.

3. Neglecting personal health and hygiene

When people are deeply lonely and unhappy, they might stop taking care of themselves. They may eat poorly, neglect exercise, or even ignore basic hygiene.

It’s not that they don’t know how to take care of themselves, it’s more that they’ve lost the motivation to do so.

This behavior stems from the fact that our physical well-being is closely tied to our emotional well-being. When we’re feeling low, the energy required to maintain healthy habits can seem overwhelming.

Quite often, they might feel that it’s not worth the effort to take care of themselves, especially when they’re all alone.

This lack of self-care can lead to a vicious cycle where poor physical health further exacerbates feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

4. Losing interest in favorite activities

It’s always hard to see someone you care about lose their spark. But if they’re deeply lonely and unhappy, they might stop doing the things they once loved.

That book they couldn’t put down, the hobby they were passionate about, or the music that always made them dance – it all suddenly seems to lose its charm.

This loss of interest isn’t because these activities aren’t fun anymore. It’s just that when someone is feeling really low, they might not find joy in anything. It’s as if a grey cloud has overshadowed their world, taking the color out of everything.

But remember, this doesn’t mean they’ve changed forever. It’s just a tough phase they’re going through. And with time, patience, love and support, they can rediscover their passions and start finding joy again. I

5. Excessive use of social media

We’ve all spent a bit too much time scrolling through social media feeds at some point. But when it becomes an all-consuming habit, it might be a sign of deeper loneliness and unhappiness.

People often turn to social media as a way to fill a void. They might endlessly scroll through posts, comparing their lives to others’, often feeling like everyone else is having a better time.

This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and further deepen their sense of loneliness.

If you find yourself or someone else spending an excessive amount of time on social media, it might be a good idea to take a step back, disconnect from the virtual world, and reconnect with the real world around us.

6. Difficulty sleeping

When someone is feeling deeply lonely and unhappy, it’s not unusual for their sleep patterns to be disrupted.

I once knew a person who would stay awake till the early hours of the morning, tossing and turning, unable to find sleep.

During the day, their mind would be clouded with exhaustion, making it even harder to manage their feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

The endless cycle of sleepless nights and tiring days seemed to feed into their emotional distress.

This struggle with sleep isn’t just about not being able to rest. It’s a reflection of the turmoil within them, a sign of the emotional weight they’re carrying around. 

7. Refusing help

Ironically, when people are deeply lonely and unhappy, they might push away those who try to help. They might insist they’re fine, brush off your concerns, or even become defensive.

But let’s be clear here: refusing help is not a sign of strength. It’s a sign of profound pain. It’s a way of saying, “I’m hurt, but I don’t know how to let anyone in.”

It’s important to understand that no one can overcome loneliness and unhappiness on their own. We all need support, empathy, and understanding from others.

If someone you care about is pushing you away, it doesn’t mean they don’t need you. It means they need you more than ever.

So don’t give up on them. Keep reaching out, keep showing them you care. They may resist at first, but your continued support could make all the difference.

Conclusion

When you see someone exhibiting these behaviors, it’s a cry for help, even if they can’t express it directly. Deep loneliness and unhappiness are more than just feelings. They can consume a person’s life.

The most important thing to remember is that understanding these signs is the first step to helping someone out of their loneliness and unhappiness.

Reach out, show empathy, and offer support. It might not be easy, but it could mean the world to someone who feels like their world is falling apart.

And if you recognize these behaviors in yourself, don’t hesitate to seek help. There are people who care for you and want to support you through this difficult time.

You’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.