Tipping is such a ubiquitous part of life that most of us barely give it a second thought. It’s just something we do after a meal, a haircut, or a cab ride. 

But did you know that tipping behavior can actually give us a glimpse into someone’s personality? Especially when no one’s watching, the way a person tips can reveal traits you wouldn’t always pick up on in casual conversation. 

Today, I’d like to zero in on the best type of tipper – those who tip big even when no one’s around to impress. Why are they so willing to give a server or driver an extra boost? 

I’ve found that these types of individuals tend to share five rare traits. And I’ll say this: if you’re a generous tipper yourself, you probably have these qualities, too. 

Let’s dig into each one. 

1. They have genuine empathy

One common thread I’ve noticed is an ability to see beyond the immediate transaction. 

Whether it’s a barista handing over a latte or a bellhop juggling suitcases, empathetic people recognize there’s a whole human story behind that brief encounter. 

Instead of viewing tipping as just a social expectation or math problem (“What’s 20% of this bill?”), they see it as an opportunity to acknowledge someone else’s effort.

Empathy, at its core, is about relating to someone else’s experiences and feelings. Rather than waiting for praise or applause, someone with genuine empathy feels a pull to do good simply because they sense it might brighten another person’s day. 

Empathetic individuals often see servers, valets, or drivers as people who have their own challenges and successes. 

They consider factors like low base wages, physically demanding work, or long hours. They’re moved by an authentic desire to lessen a burden, even if just slightly. 

2. They’re confident in their own values

Ever been around someone who goes out of their way to do the right thing, even if nobody else is doing it or noticing? 

It might be the friend who picks up trash at the park, or the coworker who compliments a newcomer’s work without caring if the boss hears.

That willingness to do good outside the spotlight often comes from a deeply rooted sense of personal values. The same holds true for discreetly generous tippers.

These folks don’t need external approval to confirm that what they’re doing is commendable. They do it because it matches the moral compass they’ve developed over the years. 

It’s a quiet form of integrity: “I’ll honor my principles whether anyone is watching or not.” 

I’ve seen people who only tip generously when they suspect it might lead to better service next time, or when they’re with a group of friends and want to appear magnanimous. That’s not genuine confidence in one’s values—that’s more about performative generosity.

Contrast that with someone who regularly leaves a little extra, even if they’ll never see that particular waiter, driver, or stylist again. 

They’re not concerned with future favors or public praise. They feel good knowing they’ve upheld their standard of kindness. 

In my mind, that speaks to a level of self-assuredness that can’t be faked. Once you become comfortable with who you are and the ethics you choose to live by, applause becomes unnecessary.

3. They believe in paying kindness forward

More often than not, generous tippers truly understand the concept of “paying it forward.”

They recall times when someone gave them a helping hand, maybe in a way that no one else noticed. 

It could have been a mentor who listened patiently when they were struggling, a neighbor who brought over soup during an illness, or a teacher who saw potential in them when they didn’t see it themselves. 

Those acts of kindness stick around in a person’s memory and become part of their story.

Years later, they pass that goodwill on—perhaps by leaving a generous tip for a server who looks exhausted or by giving a bit extra to a hotel housekeeper whose job is often undervalued. 

The important part is that they do it without expecting direct reciprocation. It’s more about maintaining a chain of compassion that benefits people, one small act at a time. 

People who consistently tip generously—even in low-key settings—tend to see themselves as part of a larger pattern of giving. They might not talk about it openly, but they know in their hearts they’re doing their bit to keep that ripple effect going.

4. They have an abundant mindset

People who tip big without hesitation often operate from an abundance mindset. They believe that there’s plenty of success, happiness, and opportunity to go around — and that generosity doesn’t diminish what they have; it expands it. 

Instead of seeing money as something to hoard or guard, they view it as a tool that can spread positivity, show appreciation, and make someone’s day a little brighter. 

This way of thinking tends to carry over into the rest of their lives too, whether it’s offering help, sharing knowledge, or simply rooting for others to succeed.

I’ll be honest — developing an abundance mindset doesn’t always come naturally, especially if you’ve experienced scarcity at some point. 

But people who tip generously when no one’s looking usually aren’t operating from fear or “lack.” They trust that what they give out — kindness, support, resources — somehow finds its way back to them, even if it’s not immediate or obvious. 

It’s not about being reckless or showy with money; it’s about trusting that generosity won’t leave them empty, but more connected to the good things life has to offer.

5. They practice daily gratitude

Speaking of the good things life has to offer, let’s talk about gratitude. 

In my opinion, gratitude is the cornerstone of consistent generosity. People who tip big, especially when no one’s looking, often show an ongoing appreciation for the small things in life. 

They have this broader sense of counting their blessings each day, something they’ve cultivated over a lifetime of ups and downs.

I’ve found this to be true in myself as well. When I focus on what I have—rather than what I lack—I’m more likely to share those resources with someone else. 

This goes beyond money. It could be about giving time or emotional support as well. 

Tipping is merely one visible way of extending that sense of gratitude to another human being. 

Like the quote from G.K. Chesterton: “When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” Once you develop the habit of not taking things for granted, generosity tends to follow naturally.

It might start small, such as quietly handing a few extra dollars to the pizza delivery person on a late, snowy night. Then you realize how good it feels to brighten someone else’s day. 

Soon, you’re doing it more often in different situations—not for the rush, but because it’s become second nature. A grateful heart finds daily opportunities to uplift others.

Wrapping up

I’ve seen a lot of big displays of generosity in my time, from lavish charity galas to heavily publicized fundraiser drives. 

Those are wonderful in their own right. But the low-key tipper who does it out of empathy, conviction, or gratitude—they’ve always struck me as people who embody something special. 

They don’t need the social capital or recognition. They’re simply expressing genuine care for another person’s well-being.

Fortunately, every single one of those qualities can be developed. We might not all start out as big tippers or stealthy do-gooders. But if we cultivate that mindset, who knows? We could find ourselves, in our own small way, making someone else’s day a bit brighter—completely under the radar.

So here’s a question for you to chew on: the next time you’re in a position to tip—or help—in a quiet, unremarkable setting, how will you act? 

Will you stick to the usual routine, or take a moment to look inward at what you value and where you’d like to plant the seeds of kindness? 

Maybe stepping outside the norm and doing something unassumingly generous is the next step in your own personal growth story.