Emotional intelligence is not about wearing your heart on your sleeve or constantly sharing your innermost feelings. It’s a nuanced understanding of human emotions – yours and others’.

It’s the ability to navigate complex social interactions, empathize with others, and make sound decisions based on both reason and intuition.

While some people naturally possess a high level of emotional intelligence, it’s also a skill that can be developed and refined.

Here are 7 lesser-known signs that you may have a high level of emotional intelligence, as validated by psychology.

1) You’re comfortable with ambiguity

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding and empathizing with other people’s feelings. It also involves navigating complex emotional landscapes, where the boundaries aren’t always clear-cut.

Psychology shows that individuals with high emotional intelligence are comfortable with ambiguity.

They understand that human emotions aren’t always neatly categorized into ‘happy’, ‘sad’, or ‘angry’. Instead, they can appreciate the beautiful messiness that comes with authentic human experiences.

They’re confident in their ability to swim in murky emotional waters, knowing that clarity often comes only after delving into the depths of uncertainty.

This ability to embrace ambiguity allows them to connect deeply with others, as they’re not quick to judge or label emotions. Instead, they remain open and curious, fostering a safe space for exploration and understanding.

Being comfortable with ambiguity doesn’t mean they enjoy confusion or chaos.

Rather, it indicates a mature understanding that emotions are complex and multifaceted, and it’s in this complexity where genuine human connection is fostered.

2) You practice self-compassion

Emotional intelligence extends inwards as well.

It’s not just about understanding others, but also about being kind to ourselves. This involves acknowledging our shortcomings and forgiving ourselves for our mistakes.

I’ve found that self-compassion is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. When we’re able to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, even in our most vulnerable moments, we cultivate a deep well of inner strength and resilience.

We start to see our failures not as shameful missteps, but as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective allows us to bounce back from setbacks and continually evolve.

In the words of renowned psychologist and author, Dr. Kristin Neff: “Self-compassion involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is having a hard time – even if your friend blew it or is feeling inadequate or is just facing a tough life challenge.”

Practicing self-compassion invites us to extend the same kindness and understanding we offer to others, towards ourselves, fostering a holistic sense of emotional intelligence.

3) You embrace your vulnerabilities

High emotional intelligence often goes hand-in-hand with a willingness to embrace vulnerability. It’s about accepting that you’re not perfect and being okay with it.

This openness creates a space for genuine connection, deep understanding, and personal growth.

Recognizing and acknowledging our vulnerabilities can be both liberating and empowering. It allows us to be authentic, to admit when we’re wrong, and to ask for help when we need it. This kind of self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence.

In my video, I delve into the idea of embracing the feeling of being an imposter as an indication of deep self-awareness and a catalyst for authentic growth.

Embracing our vulnerabilities encourages us to accept ourselves without needing external validation and to pursue self-improvement grounded in genuine self-acceptance.

It’s a testament to our courage and resilience, showing that we’re not afraid to face our fears or confront the things that make us uncomfortable.

If you find these insights helpful and want to join 20,000 others exploring living a life with more purpose and freedom, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

4) You value authenticity over approval

Emotional intelligence often means choosing authenticity over approval. It’s about staying true to who you are, even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular. This level of emotional honesty requires a deep understanding of one’s self and a commitment to personal integrity.

People with high emotional intelligence understand that fitting in is not the same as belonging.

They don’t shy away from expressing their unique perspectives and values, even if they go against the grain. They recognize the importance of authenticity in building genuine relationships and fostering meaningful connections.

These individuals are not swayed by societal pressures or expectations. They choose to live in alignment with their values, even if it means standing alone sometimes. This willingness to be authentic, despite external pressures, is a testament to their emotional intelligence.

5) You see failure as an opportunity for growth

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about handling success; it’s also about how you respond to failure.

Viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth, rather than personal defeats, is a clear sign of emotional intelligence.

People with high emotional intelligence understand that failure is an integral part of the journey towards success. They see it not as a reflection of their worth, but as valuable feedback that can help them refine their approach and improve their future efforts.

Instead of letting failure discourage them, they use it as a stepping stone towards better understanding themselves and the world around them.

They see every challenge as a chance to learn and grow, and this perspective empowers them to bounce back from adversity stronger than before.

In my video where I explore the dark side of entrepreneurship, I discuss the importance of embracing the journey, including its challenges, as part of a fulfilling life.

As Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This mindset is at the heart of emotional intelligence – seeing every ‘failure’ as simply another step on the path to success.

6) You prioritize self-care

At first glance, prioritizing self-care might seem selfish or self-indulgent, especially in a culture that often glorifies busyness and productivity. But in reality, taking care of ourselves is a vital aspect of emotional intelligence.

People with high emotional intelligence recognize that they cannot pour from an empty cup. They understand that in order to be there for others, they first need to take care of their own physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

This involves setting healthy boundaries, taking time for rest and rejuvenation, and engaging in activities that nourish their soul.

They recognize the importance of self-care in maintaining their resilience and ability to navigate life’s challenges.

They also understand that by taking care of themselves, they are better equipped to contribute positively to the world around them. In this way, self-care is not just about individual well-being, but also about our collective capacity for empathy, compassion, and positive change.

7) You value the power of active listening

Active listening is a crucial but often overlooked aspect of emotional intelligence. It involves not just hearing the words someone is saying, but truly understanding their message and demonstrating that understanding through our responses.

People with high emotional intelligence understand that communication is a two-way street. They recognize that being a good listener is just as important, if not more so, than being a good speaker.

Active listening involves giving the other person our undivided attention, refraining from interrupting and responding in a way that shows we’ve understood their point of view. This kind of empathetic listening fosters deeper connections and helps to build trust in relationships.

Moreover, active listeners are often better able to understand and navigate complex emotional landscapes, as they’re not just focused on their own perspective but are genuinely interested in understanding others’.

Emotional intelligence: A lifelong journey

The exploration of emotional intelligence is an ongoing journey, not a destination. These seven signs are just the tip of the iceberg, providing a glimpse into the nuanced world of our emotional landscape.

Each of us has the capacity to enhance our emotional intelligence, to deepen our understanding of ourselves and others. By doing so, we can navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience, forge more meaningful connections, and live more authentically.

It’s not about striving for perfection or trying to ‘fix’ ourselves. It’s about embracing our humanity in all its beautiful complexity.

As we continue this journey, we may find that our relationship with ourselves and others transforms in profound ways. We may discover a newfound sense of freedom, authenticity, and connection that transcends our previous understanding.

So I leave you with this question: How can you cultivate greater emotional intelligence in your own life?

Or if you’re interested in diving deeper into topics like this, consider joining over 20,000 others who have subscribed to my YouTube channel here. Together, let’s explore what it means to live a life with more purpose and freedom.