Confidence and assertiveness aren’t traits you’re simply born with. They grow over time, often maturing beautifully as we age.

According to psychology, there are specific qualities that women develop as they get older, which contribute to increased confidence and assertiveness.

Want to know what these qualities are? Dive in with me, as we explore the top 8 qualities that help women become more confident and assertive as they age. 

1) Embracing authenticity

In the realm of confidence and assertiveness, there’s nothing more powerful than being true to oneself.

Psychology suggests that as women age, they start to care less about other’s opinions and start to value their own truth more.

This doesn’t happen overnight. It takes years of life experience, ups and downs, and perhaps even a few wrong turns along the way.

But eventually, women start to realize that they have their own unique voice, and it should be heard.

Authenticity breeds confidence. When you are unapologetically yourself, there’s a certain kind of power that comes with it. You’re not concerned about fitting in or meeting someone else’s expectations. You’re simply you.

And that’s not just liberating; it’s assertive. It’s a declaration to the world that you are comfortable in your own skin and won’t be swayed by the whims and desires of others.

2) Developing resilience

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at us, doesn’t it? As we age, we inevitably face more and more challenges. But it’s how we respond to these struggles that really defines our character.

I’ll share an example from my own life. A few years ago, I faced a significant setback in my career. I was passed over for a promotion I had been working towards for years. It was a tough blow, and it truly tested my resilience.

But rather than let this defeat define me, I chose to see it as an opportunity for growth. I spent the following months reflecting on my strengths and weaknesses, seeking constructive feedback, and identifying areas where I could improve.

Instead of dwelling on the disappointment, I focused on becoming stronger and better prepared for the next opportunity.

This resilience didn’t just help me bounce back in my career. It also significantly boosted my confidence and assertiveness. I became more self-assured in my abilities and less affected by setbacks.

Psychologically speaking, resilience is a critical quality that women develop as they age.

It allows us to adapt to life’s challenges with grace and strength, ultimately leading to increased confidence and assertiveness as we grow older.

3) Cultivating self-compassion

Did you know that self-compassion is directly linked to mental wellbeing?

It’s a psychological concept that involves being kind to oneself, understanding one’s own pain, and recognizing that suffering is a part of the human experience.

Research indicates that people who practice self-compassion experience less anxiety, depression, and stress. They also tend to be more optimistic, happy, and satisfied with their lives.

As women get older, they often become more forgiving towards themselves. They recognize that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.

This understanding allows them to show themselves the same kindness they would to a friend in a similar situation.

This shift in perspective doesn’t just lead to better mental health. It also contributes to increased confidence and assertiveness.

After all, when you’re kind and understanding towards yourself, you’re less likely to let others’ opinions or expectations dictate your actions or self-worth.

4) Embracing personal growth

Aging brings with it wisdom and the potential for personal growth.

As women grow older, they often become more open to learning from their experiences. They see every challenge as an opportunity for growth and every mistake as a lesson learned.

This doesn’t mean they’re immune to failure or disappointment. But they understand that these setbacks are part of the journey.

They know that growth doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s often the product of overcoming hardships.

Embracing personal growth also means continually striving to be a better version of oneself.

This could mean furthering their education, picking up new skills, or even seeking therapy or counseling to work through personal issues.

This openness to growth can significantly boost a woman’s confidence and assertiveness.

It gives them the assurance that they are capable of change and improvement, which in turn empowers them to speak up and take charge of their lives.

5) Valuing relationships

Over time, we learn that genuine relationships are one of life’s greatest treasures.

As women age, they often start to prioritize meaningful connections over superficial ones. They understand the value of a supportive friend, a loving partner, or a caring family member.

These relationships don’t just provide emotional support. They also play a crucial role in boosting a woman’s confidence and assertiveness.

When you know you have people who love you, believe in you, and support you no matter what, it gives you the courage to stand up for yourself and your beliefs.

It’s not always easy. It takes vulnerability to build deep connections and courage to maintain them. But the rewards are worth it.

They give us strength, they make us resilient, and they empower us to be our most confident, assertive selves.

Cherish these relationships, nurture them, and let them be your anchor in this ever-changing sea of life.

6) Learning to say no

Saying “no” can be incredibly difficult. Trust me, I’ve been there. A few years ago, I found myself overcommitted and exhausted. I had taken on too many responsibilities, trying to please everyone around me.

I soon realized that by trying to do everything, I was doing a disservice not only to myself but also to those who relied on me.

I was spreading myself too thin and my work and relationships were suffering as a result.

This was a wake-up call for me. I started setting boundaries and learned to say “no” when I needed to.

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my mental and physical wellbeing.

As women age, they often become more comfortable with setting boundaries and saying “no”.

They understand their limits and recognize the importance of maintaining their own wellbeing.

This ability to say “no” is a significant factor in boosting confidence and assertiveness.

It communicates that you value your time and energy, and you’re not afraid to prioritize your needs. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about self-care. And that’s something we all need to embrace.

7) Building financial independence

Money isn’t everything, but it does provide us with the means to live comfortably and independently.

As women get older, they often become more financially savvy. They understand the importance of saving, investing, and building a secure financial future for themselves and their loved ones.

Financial independence doesn’t just provide security; it also contributes to a woman’s confidence and assertiveness.

When you know you can take care of yourself financially, you are less likely to tolerate unacceptable behavior or situations.

You have the freedom to make choices that are best for you without worrying about the financial implications.

Building financial independence takes time, effort, and discipline. But it’s an investment that pays off in the long run.

It gives you the freedom to make your own decisions and the confidence to stand up for yourself.

8) Acknowledging self-worth

At the heart of confidence and assertiveness lies a profound understanding of one’s self-worth.

As women age, they often become more attuned to their inner value. They understand that their worth is not defined by their appearance, their job, their relationship status, or any external factor.

Their worth comes from within. It’s in their kindness, their resilience, their intelligence, and their ability to love and be loved.

Recognizing and acknowledging this intrinsic value is a powerful tool in boosting confidence and assertiveness.

It empowers women to stand up for themselves, voice their opinions, and demand the respect they deserve.

Final thought

Confidence and assertiveness are powerful qualities that can be cultivated over time. They are not an end in themselves, but rather a byproduct of a life well-lived.

According to renowned psychologist Carl Rogers, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”

As women age, they often become more confident and assertive. They learn to value their authenticity, build resilience, practice self-compassion, embrace personal growth, value relationships, learn to say no, build financial independence and acknowledge their self-worth.

But the true beauty lies in the journey itself. It’s about embracing the ups and downs, the triumphs and trials, the joys and sorrows that come with life.