There are many reasons we become unsuccessful in life.

Sometimes, it’s because of things beyond our control—like bad luck.

And sometimes, we have our own selves to blame.

But while successful people are able to improve themselves by being accountable for their actions, those who become unsuccessful do the exact opposite.

They come up with excuses instead.

And you can often hear them say these phrases:

1) “But I tried my best!”

They did something wrong, or they submitted mediocre work…

And so of course, you tell them exactly that.

But then they’d raise both hands in surrender and say, “Welp, I did my best.”

Or worse, they’d shift the blame! They’d say “You just don’t know how to appreciate my efforts.” or “You always make me feel inadequate.”

With this kind of attitude, they’d never grow and achieve any kind of success in life.

Of course, we all try our best. This is kind of obvious.

But when we hear constructive feedback—especially if it’s from experts—acknowledging it instead of treating it as a personal attack is the way to grow.

But unsuccessful people won’t recognize mentoring or constructive feedback because they’re too busy avoiding accountability.  

And this is a major red flag for headhunters, bosses, and investors—people who would have helped them on their way up if only they had the right attitude.

2) “Well, it’s not ENTIRELY my fault.”

Actually, they’re actually very aware that it’s mainly their fault, but instead of saying “Sorry, I’ll do better next time,” they’ll use their brain cells to include others in the blame.

They look like a kid on the playground, whining, and grumbling about why they were reprimanded and others were not.

I had a teammate like this and it destroyed our group dynamics because whenever they make a mistake, they’d nitpick everyone else and point fingers.

Worse comes to worst, they’ll even say, “But YOU should have known I can’t do it!”

Eeeps!

A person like this can’t be relied on. 

Colleagues would slowly avoid them, clients would cut them off ASAP, and they’d always have conflicts with friends and family.

3) “Things happen.”

They arrived at a meeting two hours late.

And when they tried to open their presentation, the file couldn’t be read.

What do they do?

They shrug and go “Well…things happen.”

Did they just…forgive themselves?!

They shouldn’t be the ones saying “things happen”. It should be said by the people they inconvenience after they say “Sorry.”

This kind of nonchalance and lack of accountability can make people lose trust in them. 

What if there’s a big project and they just f*ck it up and say “Welp, things happen.”? 

That would be a disaster!

And when people lose trust in us, achieving success becomes 100 times harder.

4) “Well, I changed my mind.”

You: “I thought you wanted to start a business two years ago. What happened?”

Them: “Ahh yeah. Well, I changed my mind. I didn’t really like to do it.”

Except that, deep down, they really, really wanted to!

But they were too lazy, too scared, or they faced some challenges and made mistakes so they abandoned it too early.

Why do they lie?

They lie because they don’t want to embarrass themselves. They lie because they don’t want others to think they’re a person with no integrity.

Instead of admitting it became challenging or they made mistakes they couldn’t bounce back from, they feel it’s safer to lie.

Now what if they told the truth instead? Then they could have gotten the help they need to actually achieve things!

Maybe you have $10,000 you want to invest or you know a mentor who can actually guide them? 

Well…that won’t happen because they refused to take accountability and be honest!

5) “Nobody’s perfect!”

Basically, this is a way of gaslighting you—of painting you as the bad guy—simply for pointing out their mistakes.

Instead of saying “Sorry” and “I made a mistake, let me fix it,” they’d make you feel guilty for even saying the obvious.

People like this would find it hard to be successful at anything in life—from their relationships to their careers to their passions.

Because while we all know nobody’s perfect, it’s not a “get out of jail free” card for every mistake you make.

We all make mistakes, but what someone does after they make mistakes is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.

While the ones who succeed learn and move forward, the unsuccessful stay stuck refusing to grow.

6) “It’s not a big deal!”

Again, this is another phrase to gaslight you.

They’d say this even if it’s clearly a big deal so you’d doubt yourself for even thinking that they’ve done something wrong.

But what’s funny is that they make a big deal of other people’s mistakes!

When a person makes us feel guilty for even talking about how they could have done better, it could make us zip our mouths.

And you know what happens when someone who’s trying to be successful doesn’t get any feedback from others? 

Well, they don’t make much progress.

7) “If only…”

“If only I was raised by supportive parents.”

“ If only I was born rich.”

“If only I didn’t have siblings to care for.”

Phewww. “If only” galore!

They can’t just try with what they have right now DESPITE their disadvantages because they think they’re already left behind in life.

This is why they always fail to launch. 

They lack the self-confidence that is essential for success, they’re bitter, and they make “if only” excuses to justify that they haven’t done much.

8) “Why are you so hard on me?”

Instead of being humble and admitting their mistake, they throw a fit. 

They’d portray good people who gave them constructive feedback as the villains in the movie they’re creating in their heads.

Talk about main character syndrome. 

Instead of acknowledging their points for improvement, they’d wail in the most dramatic voice “Why are you so hard on meeee?”

Totally not nice, not to mention…very immature.

Just because someone doesn’t treat them like fragile glass, doesn’t mean the other person is absolutely toxic and mean.

We all have blind spots and imperfections and as long as someone’s intentions and manner of making us aware of it is respectful, hearing it is better for us in the long run.

If you ask me, between being showered with insincere flowery words of praise or direct to the point feedback, I’d prefer the latter because I can learn from it and use it to grow.

9) “It’s not up to my standard”

This is the phrase analysis-paralysis-perfectionists most often use to avoid being accountable for not meeting their goals.

“What’s wrong with having high standards?” you may ask. Nothing really except when they keep it as a moving target.

They want to start a food business but the location is never good enough. And when the location they said they love finally becomes available, they now want something better.

Whether they are aware or not, the “It’s not up to my standards” line is a delaying tactic borne out of fear or insecurity.

Sure they may have good ideas, but if they delay starting until every single thing is perfect, it’s just a complex excuse to never do it.

And if they never have anything good enough to show for their work, they will never get support for bigger ones.

10) “They had better ______”

Whether it’s a better guitar, a better computer, a better camera, a better stove, or a better car, unsuccessful people always say other people had better tools than they did. 

But as the ancient proverb goes, “A bad workman always blames his tools.”

This is the athlete who discredits the champion for having better shoes and the chef who disses another restaurant’s Michelin stars because of their fancier kitchen.

While successful people do the best they can with what they have, unsuccessful people diminish other people’s success by saying it was the tools. 

Sure, there’s truth that having the latest tools and gadgets helps with quality, but the most important factor is still the person wielding it. 

Final thoughts:

If you’ve heard yourself saying these phrases, it’s possible you were unaware that you were sabotaging your own success. 

If that’s the case, you’re lucky because that means success is actually within reach—you just have to shift towards holding yourself accountable.

If you hear these words from people, yes it’s a red flag but also give them the benefit of the doubt.

Not everybody has the same privileges. And some may have experienced trauma so they’re unconsciously using these phrases to protect themselves from more pain. 

Remember that compassion and accountability can co-exist. 

And while it may sound challenging, the most successful leaders are the ones who can balance this.