To define someone as ditzy or unintelligent may take time to truly determine, but have you ever noticed how just a few words can instantly shape that impression?

It’s surprising how quickly perceptions form based on how we express ourselves.

And for women, who are often unfairly judged by their words, certain phrases can create a lasting, negative impression—sometimes without them even realizing it.

But here’s the good news: small changes in language can make a big difference.

In this article, we’ll uncover 8 common phrases that can unintentionally make a woman seem ditzy or less intelligent, and how swapping them for more powerful alternatives can help you come across as confident and self-assured.

Curious to see what they are? Let’s dive in.

1) “Like, totally…”

Language is a powerful tool. Used wisely, it can showcase your intellect and wit. Used poorly, it can make you appear less intelligent than you are.

One of the phrases that instantly puts a woman in the ‘ditzy’ category is the overuse of words like ‘like’ and ‘totally’.

These filler words, when used excessively, can give the impression of uncertainty and lack of confidence.

Consider this scenario. You’re in a meeting discussing a project and you say, “Like, I totally think this could work…” versus “I believe this could work…” The latter sounds more assertive and intelligent, doesn’t it?

It’s not a matter of altering your personality or forcing yourself to sound overly intelligent.

Rather, it’s being mindful of your language choices and ensuring they genuinely reflect your true capabilities and intelligence.

You’re smarter than you sound. Let your language reflect that. Steer clear from overusing ‘like’ and ‘totally’ if you want to avoid appearing ditzy or unintelligent.

2) “I’m just a girl…”

We’ve all been in situations where we downplay our competence, sometimes without even realizing it. I remember a time when I was guilty of this myself.

In a previous job, I was tasked with leading a major project. Despite having ample experience and being perfectly capable, I found myself saying, “I’m just a girl, but I think we should…”

It was only when a colleague pointed it out that I realized how this phrase undermined my authority and intelligence. It was as if I was apologizing for having an opinion or a suggestion.

Now, whenever I catch myself about to utter that phrase, I stop and remind myself of my worth and capabilities.

Phrases like “I’m just a girl” can inadvertently make us seem less competent and intelligent than we are.

Avoid downplaying your strengths or qualifications. You are more than “just girls.” You are smart, capable women with valuable insights to offer.

3) “I don’t have time to…”

We’re all guilty of this one. Who hasn’t said, “I don’t have time to…” at some point?

Whether it’s about reading a book, taking a yoga class, or even just taking a few moments to breathe, this phrase tends to pop up quite a lot.

But here’s the thing: Saying “I don’t have time” not only makes us sound dismissive, but it also sends a message that we’re not in control of our own lives.

As Henry David Thoreau pointed out, “It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”

This insight encourages us to reframe “I don’t have time” to “It’s not a priority for me right now.”

Such a shift emphasizes that we’re making intentional choices about how to spend our time, which reflects positively on our intelligence and self-awareness.

4) “I’m sorry, but…”

Apologies are essential when we’ve done something wrong. But have you ever noticed how often this phrase is used when an apology isn’t even necessary?

We say, “I’m sorry, but…” when we’re voicing our opinions or justifying our actions.

Here’s the tricky part: While this may seem polite, it can actually undermine your intelligence. It gives off the impression that you’re seeking approval or validation for your thoughts and actions.

Refrain from starting your sentences with an apology; assert your position directly. The words of Ralph Waldo Emerson remind us, “Self-trust is the first secret of success.”

You may be surprised at how much more respect and credibility this simple shift in language can earn you.

5) “It’s probably stupid, but…”

When you preface your ideas with “It’s probably stupid, but…”, you’re essentially telling others that you don’t value your own thoughts.

Your ideas are not stupid. They’re a product of your unique perspective and experiences. By dismissing them as potentially ‘stupid’, you’re not giving them the credit they deserve.

Instead, try saying, “Here’s an idea…” or “I was thinking…”. These phrases don’t diminish the value of your thoughts and show that you respect your own ideas.

We all have moments of self-doubt, but let’s not allow them to seep into our language. Your ideas are worth hearing, so present them with confidence and respect.

6) “I’m such a mess…”

We all have days of feeling scattered or disorganized. It’s part of being human. However, labeling oneself as “a mess” can negatively impact how others perceive us.

Saying, “I’m such a mess,” doesn’t just reflect our current state of mind; it attaches a label that can inadvertently make us seem less competent and intelligent.

Everyone experiences moments of chaos and disarray, but these moments do not define us. We are not “a mess.” We are complex, multifaceted individuals capable of growth and improvement.

Labeling yourself as “a mess” only serves to diminish your experience. Acknowledge the situation for what it is—a temporary state that will pass.

Replace “I’m such a mess” with “I’m going through a challenging time” or “I’m working on getting more organized.”

Your language shapes your reality. Choose words that uplift you and reflect your true potential, avoiding phrases that belittle or undermine you.

7) “I’m just lucky…”

Attributing your success to luck can seem humble and modest. However, it can also make you appear less intelligent and competent.

Saying, “I’m just lucky,” dismisses the hard work, intelligence, and skills that contributed to your achievements. It suggests that your accomplishments occurred by chance, not as a result of your efforts.

While luck may play a role in success, it is rarely the entire story. More often, persistence, talent, and intelligence are what propel us toward our goals.

Speak of Seneca’s insight: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Acknowledging the significance of your efforts is important. Use phrases like, “I worked hard for this,” or “My dedication paid off.”

These statements honor your capabilities and hard work, giving credit where it’s due.

8) “I hate to bother you…”

Starting a conversation with “I hate to bother you” can immediately set a tone of apology and can make you appear less confident and intelligent.

This phrase suggests that your needs or requests are an inconvenience, which is rarely the case. Everyone has the right to ask for help or seek clarification when needed.

Instead, you can start your request with “Could you help me with…” or “I have a question about…”. These phrases show that you value the other person’s input without undermining your own needs.

It’s not a bother to seek help or ask questions. It’s a sign of strength and intelligence to recognize when we need assistance.

Lily Collins perfectly expresses this: “Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do. And it can save your life.”

Final thoughts

Our language reflects our thoughts and beliefs, shaping how others perceive us and how we view ourselves.

Phrases that make a woman seem less intelligent go beyond mere words; they stem from self-perception and societal conditioning.

The words we choose contribute to the impressions we create, often influenced by our belief in them.

Let’s choose phrases that uplift us and reflect our true abilities. Your words are powerful; ensure they convey your strength and intellect.

This focus isn’t merely on sounding smart; it emphasizes valuing ourselves and ensuring our language reflects that truth.

Your voice matters. Let your language be a testament to your intelligence.