We’ve all dealt with that one person who just has to get their way—no matter what.

When things don’t go as they planned, their words often reveal more about their selfish tendencies than they realize.

The truth is, selfish people have a unique set of phrases they rely on when the world doesn’t bend to their will.

Ever wonder what those phrases sound like? You might recognize a few.

In this article, we’ll break down 8 common phrases selfish people use when things don’t go their way, according to psychology.

Ready to decode their playbook?

1) “I always have to do everything”

This is a classic phrase that selfish individuals often resort to when they don’t get their way. The aim here is to paint themselves as the perpetual victim, burdened by everyone else’s demands and expectations.

For instance, if you ask such a person for help with a task, they might respond with, “I always have to do everything.”

This phrase is designed to make you feel guilty for making a seemingly unreasonable request, even if it is perfectly fair or routine.

In saying this, they are essentially shifting the blame onto you and avoiding responsibility.

It’s a tactic designed to manipulate your feelings and behaviors. You may find yourself apologizing or even taking on more tasks to relieve their perceived burden.

2) “You’re overreacting”

This phrase is a favorite among those with selfish tendencies when things aren’t going their way.

It’s a subtle form of gaslighting, where the person tries to make you doubt your own feelings and reactions.

Imagine a situation where you express your disappointment because they broke a promise or didn’t keep their word. Instead of apologizing or acknowledging their mistake, they respond with, “You’re overreacting.”

The purpose of this statement isn’t to calm you down but to invalidate your feelings.

It’s a clever way of shifting the focus from their actions to your supposedly exaggerated reaction.

By saying this, they are trying to make you believe that your response is the problem, not their behavior. This can lead you to second-guess yourself and may even discourage you from expressing your feelings in the future.

3) “I don’t see why this is such a big deal”

This phrase is another popular tool in the selfish person’s arsenal.

In essence, they’re attempting to minimize the significance of their actions, or the lack thereof, in order to sidestep accountability.

Consider a scenario where they have let you down or not fulfilled a commitment. If you confront them about it, they might respond with, “I don’t see why this is such a big deal.”

The underlying principle at play here is ‘perspective-taking’ – the ability to understand a situation from another person’s viewpoint.

However, selfish individuals often have difficulty with perspective-taking as they are primarily focused on their own needs and desires.

This statement not only dismisses your feelings but also subtly implies that your expectations are unreasonable.

By doing so, they are trying to make you question the validity of your concerns, thus diverting attention away from their own unwillingness to take responsibility.

4) “If you really cared about me, you would…”

This phrase can really tug at your heartstrings. It often emerges when a selfish person feels that their desires are not being prioritized.

They use it as a way to question your affection or commitment towards them.

Let’s say you’re unable to fulfill a request they’ve made due to valid reasons. Instead of understanding, they might respond with, “If you really cared about me, you would…”

This is an attempt to emotionally manipulate you into feeling guilty and prioritizing their needs over your own.

It’s a difficult situation to be in because no one wants to feel as though they are letting down someone they care about.

Remember, it’s natural and healthy to have boundaries and not be able to cater to someone’s every request or desire. It doesn’t mean that you care any less. 

5) “I guess I’m just a bad person then”

We’ve all probably encountered this phrase at some point or another. It usually comes up when a selfish person is confronted about their behavior, and instead of addressing the issue, they resort to self-deprecation.

Imagine bringing up a concern about their actions, only for them to respond with, “I guess I’m just a bad person then.”

This statement is less about them acknowledging their fault and more about turning the tables and making you feel like the aggressor.

This approach seeks to deflect criticism and create an atmosphere of guilt around you.

It’s a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions while simultaneously making you feel like you’re being too harsh or unreasonable.

6) “I didn’t ask for your opinion”

This is a phrase that might hit close to home for many.

It’s often used by selfish individuals when they’re not open to hearing viewpoints that differ from their own or when they’re simply not getting their way.

For instance, you might have been in a situation where you offered constructive feedback or a suggestion, only to be met with a curt, “I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

This phrase serves as a defensive mechanism. It’s a way to shut down dialogue and maintain control over the situation or conversation.

By doing so, they are essentially dismissing your thoughts and perspectives.

7) “You always…” or “You never…”

These absolute statements are a common go-to for selfish individuals when they’re trying to win an argument or shift the blame onto others.

Whether it’s “You always forget about my needs” or “You never listen to me,” the goal here is to make you feel defensive and guilty.

The truth, however, is that these statements are usually exaggerations.

It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect. We all have moments where we might forget something or fail to meet someone’s expectations. 

8) “It’s all about compromise”

This might sound like a reasonable statement at first glance. After all, compromise is a crucial part of any relationship.

However, in the context of a selfish individual, this phrase often means “It’s all about compromising to suit my needs.”

When they find themselves not getting what they want, they might resort to saying, “It’s all about compromise,” implying that you are the one who needs to give in or adjust.

While compromise is important, it should always be a two-way street.

It’s not about constantly bending to someone else’s will at the cost of your own needs or happiness.

Final thoughts

Now that you’ve learned the go-to phrases selfish people use when things don’t swing in their favor, you’re probably already replaying some familiar conversations in your mind.

Recognizing these tactics is the first step in not getting tangled up in their web of manipulation and self-centeredness.

The next step? Standing your ground and not letting their words push you around.

Remember, selfish people are pros at twisting situations to suit their needs, but once you see through their script, it’s much easier to sidestep the drama.

Next time you hear one of these phrases, stay cool, don’t fall for the guilt trip, and remind yourself: you’re not responsible for their unmet expectations.

It’s time to reclaim your peace, because you’ve got better things to focus on than someone else’s power plays!