Have you ever had a conversation with someone and felt like they just didn’t get it?

Maybe they seemed dismissive or overly critical, even when you were opening up about something important.

Unfortunately, some people possess a knack for masking their lack of empathy with seemingly innocuous phrases. Their words can sound caring on the surface, but they often reveal a deeper insensitivity lurking beneath.

In this article, we’ll explore eight phrases that can serve as red flags, indicating that the speaker may struggle to connect with your feelings.

By recognizing these subtle cues, you’ll be better equipped to navigate conversations and relationships with awareness, ensuring you surround yourself with those who genuinely care and understand.

1) “I’m just being honest”

When someone has little empathy, they might use phrases that deflect responsibility for their words. One of these is the classic, “I’m just being honest.”

This phrase is often used as a disguise for delivering harsh or blunt comments that lack sensitivity.

They may use this phrase to justify their tactlessness, making it seem like they’re doing you a favor by telling it like it is. After all, honesty is a virtue, right?

However, this can leave you feeling hurt or confused. You might even start doubting your own feelings or reactions, thinking you’re too sensitive or overreacting.

In reality, this is a classic low-empathy move. It’s an attempt to mask their lack of consideration for your feelings under the guise of “honesty”.

It’s important to remember that true honesty doesn’t have to be hurtful or unkind — it can be delivered with empathy and respect.

So when someone uses this phrase, it’s not your sensitivity at fault, but rather their lack of empathy showing through.

2) “Don’t take things so personally”

This phrase is often used by people who have little empathy, and it can be quite misleading.

On the surface, it may come across as good advice – a way to help you become more resilient or less affected by others’ opinions.

However, when consistently used, this phrase could indicate a lack of understanding or dismissal of your feelings. Instead of acknowledging your emotions and considering your perspective, the person using this phrase is effectively brushing off your feelings.

While there’s truth in not letting everything affect us deeply, it’s also essential to respect and validate our feelings and those of others.

When you hear “Don’t take things so personally”, remember that it’s okay to feel hurt and express your feelings – it doesn’t make you overly sensitive or weak. It makes you human.

3) “You’re too emotional”

Often, people who struggle with empathy may use the phrase “You’re too emotional” as a way to dismiss or belittle your feelings.

Interestingly, this could be a sign of their own discomfort with emotions.

While it’s true that some people are more emotionally expressive than others, labeling someone as “too emotional” is a way of invalidating their feelings – a classic low-empathy move.

Everyone has a right to their emotions. Feeling things deeply is not a weakness, but rather a sign of emotional intelligence.

So the next time someone tells you that you’re “too emotional”, consider it a testament to your capacity for deep feeling and understanding, rather than a flaw.

4) “It’s not that big of a deal”

When someone tells you “It’s not that big of a deal”, it can feel like your feelings are being dismissed or trivialized.

But remember, what may seem insignificant to one person can be deeply impactful to another.

In these moments, it can be helpful to remind yourself that your feelings are valid and entirely your own.

Just because someone else doesn’t understand or empathize with your experience, it doesn’t lessen the importance or the impact it has on you. Your feelings are important, and so are you.

5) “You’re overthinking it”

We’ve all been there – wrestling with thoughts, mulling over scenarios, and getting told, “You’re overthinking it.”

While sometimes this phrase might be well-intentioned advice, it can also be a tell-tale sign of low empathy when used dismissively.

Often, when someone tells you that you’re “overthinking,” it may feel like they’re not fully grasping the depth of your concern or the complexity of your feelings.

Instead of acknowledging and empathizing with your worry, they might brush it off, leaving you feeling misunderstood.

It’s perfectly okay to dissect your feelings and thoughts. It’s a part of being human and dealing with life’s complexities. Your thoughtfulness is a strength, not a burden.

6) “I don’t see why you’re upset”

Picture this: You’ve had a rough day, and you decide to share your frustrations with a friend. But instead of offering comfort or understanding, they respond with, “I don’t see why you’re upset.”

This phrase is a classic example of a low-empathy response. By saying they don’t understand why you’re upset, the person is subtly hinting that your feelings might be unreasonable or irrational.

Keep in mind, empathy doesn’t require complete understanding. It’s about acknowledging the other person’s feelings and showing respect for their perspective.

So even if someone doesn’t “see” why you’re upset, it doesn’t invalidate your feelings or make them any less real.

7) “Can’t you just get over it?”

Few phrases can sting like “Can’t you just get over it?”

This comment, often cloaked in the guise of pragmatic advice, can feel dismissive and hurtful. It suggests that your feelings should have an expiration date or that you should somehow be able to switch off your emotions at will.

Unfortunately, feelings don’t work that way. It’s not a matter of simply deciding to ‘get over’ something. Healing and processing emotions takes time and can’t be rushed.

So if someone tells you to “just get over it”, don’t let it pressure you into fast-forwarding your emotional journey.

You’re allowed to feel, process, and heal at your own pace. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for taking the time you need.

8) “It’s not my problem”

Perhaps one of the most revealing phrases used by those with low empathy is, “It’s not my problem.” This phrase clearly shows a lack of willingness to understand or share the feelings of others.

But here’s the thing: Empathy isn’t about taking on someone else’s problems as your own. It’s about understanding and acknowledging their feelings, offering support, and showing you care.

You deserve empathy and understanding, even if someone fails to provide it. Keep surrounding yourself with those who can offer it freely and remember to extend the same kindness to yourself.

Conclusion

Empathy is what ties us together. It’s the bridge that connects our experiences, feelings, and perspectives.

That’s why it’s crucual to surround yourself with people who respect and empathize with your feelings, not those who dismiss or invalidate them.

By being aware of these subtle indicators, you can better evaluate your interactions and relationships. As you’ve learnt, the phrases used by others often reflect more about them than about you.

Whatever anyone else says or thinks, your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be heard and understood. Your emotional health is too important to settle for anything less than genuine empathy in your relationships.