8 phrases only self-centered people use, according to psychology

Ethan Sterling by Ethan Sterling | September 17, 2024, 4:49 pm

If you’ve ever dealt with a self-centered person, you know that they have a knack for making conversations all about them.

Their conversations often include phrases that highlight their self-importance and lack of empathy for others.

This can leave you feeling unheard or insignificant.

Being self-centered is not a mental health diagnosis, but a behavioral trait, often deeply ingrained and not easily changed.

However, understanding the psychological background of such behavior can help you navigate interactions with self-centered individuals more effectively.

Let’s have a look at some phrases you might hear from them. 

1) “I, me, my, mine”

These are words you’ll hear frequently from self-centered individuals.

They tend to use first-person singular pronouns excessively in their conversations, focusing primarily on themselves and their experiences.

For example, if you share a challenge you’re facing at work, they might respond with: “I never had that problem when I was in your position.”

This shift of focus from your issue to their experience is a classic example of self-centered behavior.

Psychologists explain this as a lack of empathy.

Self-centered individuals often struggle to understand or share the feelings of others, making it difficult for them to engage in mutually beneficial interactions.

Hearing “I, me, my, mine” often can leave you feeling unimportant and overlooked.

It’s essential to remember that this is not a reflection of your worth but a manifestation of their self-centeredness.

Being aware of this pattern can help you manage your expectations and interactions with such individuals better.

It’s not about changing them but understanding their communication style and adapting accordingly to maintain your emotional well-being.

2) “You’re too sensitive”

Oddly enough, self-centered individuals often use phrases that shift the focus from themselves to you, but not necessarily in a positive or empathetic way.

“You’re too sensitive” is one such phrase.

On the surface, it might seem like they are showing concern or offering advice.

However, the underlying message is different.

When self-centered people use this phrase, it’s often a way to dismiss your feelings or thoughts instead of acknowledging and addressing them.

It’s a subtle way of invalidating your emotions and maintaining their self-centered perspective.

Psychology explains this as a defense mechanism.

Instead of reflecting on their actions or words that may have caused distress, they divert the issue back to you, suggesting that the problem lies in your sensitivity rather than their behavior.

Recognizing this tactic can help you navigate these conversations more effectively.

It’s crucial to understand that your feelings are valid, and being labeled as “too sensitive” is often a reflection of their inability to empathize rather than an accurate measure of your emotional intensity.

3) “I don’t need anyone”

This phrase is a common one among self-centered individuals.

By declaring their independence and self-sufficiency, they often try to showcase their strength or superiority.

However, this statement contradicts one of the most fundamental aspects of human nature – our interdependence.

We are inherently social creatures who thrive on connections and relationships.

When a self-centered person insists they don’t need anyone, it’s typically a way of protecting themselves from potential rejection or criticism.

It’s also a method to maintain control and avoid vulnerability, which they often perceive as a weakness.

While it’s healthy and necessary to have a degree of independence, completely dismissing the need for others can be an indicator of self-centered tendencies.

Understanding this can help you see beyond their facade of invulnerability and realize that such statements often stem from insecurity rather than strength.

4) “I’m just being honest”

This phrase is frequently used by self-centered people as a justification for potentially hurtful or critical comments.

They often disguise their lack of consideration under the banner of honesty.

While honesty is indeed a virtue, it’s important to remember that it should never serve as an excuse for unkindness.

True honesty is respectful and considerate, never used as a blunt tool to cause hurt.

If you find someone repeatedly using this phrase and causing you distress, try not to take it personally.

They may not fully understand the impact of their words or how to express their thoughts tactfully.

You deserve respect and kindness in all interactions, and understanding this can help you set boundaries and protect your emotional well-being when dealing with self-centered individuals.

5) “Enough about me, let’s talk about you”

At first glance, this phrase might seem like a refreshing change from a self-centered person.

It appears they are finally showing interest in your thoughts and experiences.

However, more often than not, this is just a segue into talking about themselves again.

For example, you might start talking about a recent vacation, only for them to steer the conversation back to their own travels or experiences.

This habit can make interactions feel one-sided and draining.

Many of us have been in conversations where we feel more like an audience member than an active participant.

Remember, a healthy conversation is reciprocal and respectful.

Recognizing these patterns can help you manage your interactions with self-centered individuals and ensure that your voice is heard, too.

6) “I did that before it was cool”

This is a phrase often heard from self-centered individuals who have a strong desire to stand out and be seen as unique or ahead of the curve.

For instance, you might mention a new band you’ve recently discovered and are excited about, only for them to quickly intercept and claim they’ve been a fan long before the band became popular.

This statement is less about the topic at hand, and more about their need to assert superiority or a sense of exclusivity.

They aim to set themselves apart from the crowd, sometimes diminishing your excitement in the process.

It’s helpful to remember that their need to be “first” or “original” doesn’t take away from your own interests or discoveries.

Your experiences and joys are valid, regardless of their claims.

7) “If you really knew me”

When self-centered people use this phrase, it’s usually an attempt to victimize themselves or make you feel guilty for not understanding them.

It’s a manipulative tactic that aims to shift the blame from their behavior to your perceived lack of understanding.

For instance, they might say something like, “If you really knew me, you would know why I did that,” instead of taking responsibility for their actions.

While it’s important to empathize with others and strive to understand their perspectives, it’s equally important not to let such phrases manipulate you into accepting unacceptable behavior.

You are not responsible for their actions or their emotional well-being.

If they choose to act in a certain way, it is on them, not you.

Understanding this can help maintain your own emotional health when dealing with self-centered individuals.

8) “I’m not being selfish, you just don’t understand”

This is perhaps the most telling phrase used by self-centered individuals.

By labeling your perception as misunderstanding, they deflect attention from their self-centered behavior and place the blame on you.

It’s essential to remember that it’s not your responsibility to justify or make excuses for their self-centered actions.

Everyone deserves respect, understanding, and empathy in their interactions.

Remember to prioritize your own emotional well-being, set boundaries when necessary, and know that your feelings and experiences are just as valid and important.

Conclusion

Throughout this journey, you’ve gained insights into the often confusing world of self-centered individuals and their characteristic phrases.

But remember, this isn’t about changing them or taking their words to heart, but about understanding their behavior for your own peace of mind.

This article is a tool to help you navigate interactions with self-centered individuals more effectively.

But ultimately, the way you choose to apply this knowledge is up to you.

Never forget, your feelings and experiences are valid.

Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise, and don’t let anyone’s self-centeredness overshadow your worth.

Here’s to maintaining healthy relationships and emotional well-being.

Here’s to understanding others but, more importantly, understanding yourself.

Life is too short to let someone else’s self-centeredness cloud your happiness.

Cheers to living a more balanced, self-aware life!