If you’ve ever interacted with a self-absorbed person, you know that the conversation can often feel one-sided.

A self-absorbed individual typically has a unique way of communicating. You might notice they frequently use certain phrases that put the focus back on them.

Being self-absorbed isn’t a choice, it’s a psychological trait. But, like any trait, it manifests differently in every person.

Navigating these interactions can be tricky. But, understanding the psychology behind their words could make it easier.

Let’s dive right in.

1) “Enough about you, let’s talk about me”

This phrase is a classic one that self-absorbed individuals often use. You may find yourself in the middle of sharing a personal story or expressing your feelings, only for them to swiftly change the subject back to themselves.

This isn’t a deliberate attempt to belittle your experiences. It’s simply a reflection of their psychological inclination to focus on themselves. In their perspective, their thoughts, feelings, and experiences should be the center of any conversation.

It’s easy to feel dismissed or ignored when someone uses this phrase. But understanding its root in self-absorption can help you navigate these interactions more effectively.

Instead of feeling frustrated or invalidated, you could see it as a signal. A signal that reminds you that this person might struggle with empathy or perspective-taking.

And with this understanding, you can decide how you want to respond, and how much personal information you want to share with them in the future.

Remember, it’s not about blaming them for being self-absorbed. It’s about understanding their behavioral patterns and deciding how best to manage your relationship with them.

2) “I don’t mean to brag, but…”

This is a tricky phrase that self-absorbed people often use. On the surface, it seems like they’re trying to be modest. But in reality, it’s a clever way to draw attention to their achievements or abilities.

When someone says, “I don’t mean to brag, but…”, they’re about to do just that. They’re about to share something they’re proud of, under the guise of modesty. It’s a way for them to talk about themselves without appearing too boastful.

But here’s the interesting part: this phrase isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it can sometimes signal self-confidence and ambition. The key is in the frequency of its use and the context in which it’s said.

If someone uses this phrase once in a while when sharing their accomplishments, it can be seen as them expressing pride in their work or achievements. But if it’s a recurring theme in every conversation, that’s when it might point towards self-absorption.

3) “No offense, but…”

Often, when someone uses the phrase “No offense, but…”, it’s a preface to an offensive or insulting comment. Self-absorbed individuals may use this phrase as a way to express their opinions without considering the feelings of others.

This phrase essentially acts as a disclaimer, which the speaker believes absolves them of any responsibility for the impact of their words.

However, we all know from experience that prefacing a negative comment with “no offense” doesn’t lessen the hurtful impact it can have on the person it’s directed towards.

Being on the receiving end of a “No offense, but…” can feel dismissive and invalidating. It might help to remember that this kind of statement is more reflective of the speaker’s self-centeredness than your worth or value.

4) “I’m just being honest”

The phrase “I’m just being honest” often follows a blunt or harsh statement. Self-absorbed individuals might use this phrase as a way to justify their lack of tact or consideration for others’ feelings.

Now, honesty is a wonderful trait. It promotes transparency and trust in relationships. But when honesty is used as a way to disregard another person’s feelings, it becomes less about truth-telling and more about self-centering.

If you hear this phrase frequently from someone, it could be that they’re not intentionally trying to hurt you. They might simply struggle with understanding how their words can impact others. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does provide some context.

Remember, everyone has room for growth, including self-absorbed individuals. By understanding these traits, we can foster patience and potentially guide them towards more empathetic communication.

5) “I know what you mean, the same thing happened to me…”

This phrase is something many of us might have said at one point or another. It’s often used by self-absorbed individuals as a way to shift the focus of a conversation back to themselves.

When someone shares a personal experience or emotion, they’re usually looking for empathy and understanding. But when the response is “I know what you mean, the same thing happened to me…”, it can feel as though your experience is being overlooked.

The person saying this might genuinely believe they’re being empathetic by sharing their similar experience. However, it can inadvertently send the message that their story is more important than yours.

Recognizing this pattern can help us be more mindful in our conversations and ensure that we’re truly listening and responding to others’ experiences, rather than bringing the focus back to ourselves.

6) “I can’t help it, it’s just how I am”

This phrase is often used as a way to avoid taking responsibility for one’s actions or behavior. For example, if a self-absorbed individual consistently shows up late to meetings and uses this phrase as an excuse, it can be frustrating for others involved.

“I can’t help it, it’s just how I am” can feel dismissive and can often come across as a lack of regard for others. It suggests a resistance to change and a refusal to acknowledge the impact of their behavior.

I remember once having a friend who would always interrupt others mid-sentence. When confronted about this habit, their response was, “I can’t help it, it’s just how I am.”

This experience taught me that understanding this self-centered mindset is crucial in choosing the right approach to handle such situations.

7) “Everybody thinks I’m right”

This phrase is a classic in the arsenal of self-absorbed individuals. It’s essentially a way for them to validate their own viewpoints and dismiss others’. By claiming that “everybody” agrees with them, they’re attempting to establish their opinion as the universal truth.

While it might be true that they have supporters, using this phrase to shut down differing perspectives is not a productive or respectful approach to conversation or debate.

When you come across this, it’s crucial not to let it intimidate or silence you. Your opinions and views are just as valid, regardless of how many people may or may not agree with them.

It’s important to stand your ground and express your own thoughts and opinions, even when faced with such dismissive behavior.

8) “I’m not being selfish, I’m just prioritizing myself”

This phrase is often used by self-absorbed individuals as a way to justify actions that may seem self-centered to others. While it’s critical to prioritize self-care and personal growth, there’s a fine line between healthy self-prioritization and being self-absorbed.

In a balanced relationship, there should be room for both parties’ needs and wants. If one person is consistently putting their needs above the other’s, it could indicate a self-absorbed mindset.

The most important thing to remember is that recognizing these phrases and understanding the psychology behind them isn’t about blaming or shaming anyone.

It’s about gaining insight into certain behaviors, setting healthy boundaries, and promoting open and respectful communication.

In any interaction, remember to value your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Final thoughts

Understanding self-absorbed behaviors is not about playing the blame game. It’s about creating a space for healthier communication and stronger relationships.

This article’s purpose is to bring awareness to these behaviors, but remember, everyone is on a journey of personal growth. It’s up to us to decide how we engage, respond, and navigate our relationships with self-absorbed individuals.

Time spent on understanding others and ourselves is never wasted. It contributes to our emotional intelligence and helps us build better connections.

Being aware of these traits means being equipped to handle situations more effectively and not letting others’ behaviors dictate our emotional responses.

Here’s to fostering empathy, understanding, and maintaining healthy relationships in our lives!