We all encounter toxic people in our lives. It’s unavoidable. They’re the ones who are constantly negative, who never seem to be happy with anything, and who always leave you feeling drained.

In my experience, toxic people all tend to use a similar set of phrases that reveal their true nature. Psychology backs this up, too.

These phrases are like the telltale signs of their toxicity – bright red flags waving in the wind.

In this article, we’re going to dig into 8 phrases only really toxic people use. Knowledge is power, my friend. It’s time to arm ourselves.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

In my dealings with toxic individuals, I’ve found that one phrase that seems to be a common favorite is “You’re too sensitive”.

Psychology tells us this is actually a form of gaslighting – a psychological manipulation technique designed to make you doubt your own perceptions and feelings.

Toxic people use this phrase as a way of dismissing your feelings or experiences. Rather than acknowledging your emotions, they make it about you being overly sensitive.

It’s a classic deflection tactic – instead of taking responsibility for their actions or words, they turn it around and make it about your reaction.

If someone regularly tells you that you’re too sensitive, take note. It could be a sign of their toxic behavior. But remember, it’s okay to feel what you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

2) “I don’t remember saying that”

One phrase that really sticks out in my memory is “I don’t remember saying that”. I had an acquaintance who would say hurtful things and then conveniently forget all about it when confronted.

This is another form of gaslighting, where the person tries to make you question your own memory or sanity. It’s an insidious form of manipulation because it can cause you to doubt your own experiences.

In my case, every time I tried to address an issue or confront the hurtful comments, I’d be met with a dismissive “I don’t remember saying that”.

It was incredibly frustrating and left me feeling like I was the one in the wrong.

Again, this is a classic toxic behavior. If you find yourself regularly dealing with someone who denies their own words or actions, it might be time to reassess that relationship.

Remember, your experiences are valid and your feelings matter.

3) “Everyone else agrees with me”

Another phrase that toxic people often use is “Everyone else agrees with me”.

This is a bullying tactic that’s designed to isolate you and make you feel like you’re in the minority. It’s a form of social pressure, where the person tries to make you feel like you’re the odd one out.

Interestingly, research shows that people are more likely to conform when they believe that the majority opinion is against them.

This is known as the Asch Conformity Experiment, a psychological study where individuals were found to agree with a clearly incorrect majority opinion, simply because they didn’t want to stand out.

But here’s the thing – just because someone claims that everyone else agrees with them, it doesn’t make it true. And even if it was true, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re right.

It’s important to trust your own judgment and stand up for yourself, even if it feels like you’re going against the grain.

4) “That’s just the way I am”

A phrase that often slips off the tongue of toxic individuals is “That’s just the way I am”.

This statement is a defensive mechanism used to justify their inappropriate or hurtful behavior, without taking any responsibility or making an effort to change.

By saying “That’s just the way I am”, they are essentially telling you that their actions are set in stone, and you have no choice but to accept them as they are.

However, the reality is that everyone has the ability to change and grow. Using this phrase is just an easy way out for them, and it shows a lack of self-awareness and accountability.

Don’t let them fool you into thinking otherwise.

5) “I was just joking”

Now, let’s talk about the phrase “I was just joking”. This one hits close to the heart for many of us, doesn’t it?

Have you ever been at the receiving end of a hurtful comment only for the person to quickly follow it up with “I was just joking”?

This is a classic move by toxic people. By disguising their hurtful or offensive remarks as jokes, they attempt to shift the blame onto you for not being able to take a joke.

It’s a cruel tactic that belittles your feelings and dismisses your hurt. But remember this – a joke is only funny if everyone is laughing.

If someone’s humor consistently hurts you, it’s not a joke, it’s disrespect. You deserve better than that.

6) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a phrase that I’ve heard more times than I care to count. The problem with this phrase isn’t the apology itself, but the lack of ownership.

This kind of apology puts the blame on your feelings, rather than on their actions.

It’s a subtle way of implying that you’re overreacting or misconstruing their intentions, instead of acknowledging their own role in causing your feelings.

In a past relationship, I often heard this phrase whenever we had arguments. Instead of a genuine apology or attempt to understand my perspective, I would get a dismissive “I’m sorry you feel that way”.

Over time, it felt like my feelings were being invalidated, and it really took a toll on my self-esteem.

So, if someone consistently apologizes for how you feel instead of what they’ve done, it might be a sign of their toxic behavior. Your feelings are valid and you deserve genuine apologies when they’re warranted.

7) “You’re overreacting”

The phrase “You’re overreacting” is another classic in the toxic person’s playbook.

When someone tells you that you’re overreacting, they are undermining your feelings and experiences. It’s another form of gaslighting where they try to make you feel like your reactions are excessive or unwarranted.

But here’s the thing – only you get to decide what emotions are appropriate for your experiences.

If something upsets you, you have every right to express that. Don’t let anyone belittle your feelings or make you feel like your reactions are not valid. It’s okay to stand up for yourself and demand respect.

8) “If you really loved me, you would…”

Lastly, and potentially the most damaging, is the phrase “If you really loved me, you would…”.

This is emotional blackmail. It’s a manipulative tactic used to control and exert power over you. It’s designed to make you feel guilty and oblige you to do something against your will.

The truth is, love should never be conditional or used as a bargaining chip. Healthy relationships are about mutual respect, understanding and compromise.

If someone tries to manipulate your feelings of love to get their own way, it’s a clear sign of toxicity.

So remember this – you have the right to set boundaries in your relationships. Love should never be used as a tool for manipulation or control. Stand your ground and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

A final reflection

Understanding human behavior is a complex process, often intertwined with our psychological makeup.

The phrases we’ve covered are not just words, they are indicators of deeper behavioral problems – a manifestation of toxicity that can have real and lasting impact on the people around them.

If you recognize these phrases being used by someone in your life, it’s important to remember that you have the right to defend your feelings, set boundaries, and seek respect.

At the end of the day, how we choose to respond to toxic behavior is within our control. The power to promote positivity, encourage empathy, and foster healthier interactions lies in our hands.

Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. And you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect and understanding!