When you feel negatively about yourself and your abilities, this can manifest itself both in your thoughts and in the things you say out loud.

This leads to a vicious cycle. You say these negative things because you have low self-worth. But the more you say these phrases, the worse your self-worth becomes.

The good news is that you can change your mindset by first observing your negative thoughts and speech patterns, and then attempting to stop them or change the way you think/feel about these things.

Let’s get into the top 10 phrases people with low self-worth tend to use, according to psychology.

Up first:

1) “I’m not good enough for that”

People who feel worthless have low self-esteem. When you have low self-esteem, it can stop you from doing things you enjoy or from trying new things. It can lead you to develop self-limiting beliefs about your own abilities. This is why you might feel like you aren’t “good enough” to do things you absolutely are!

Making claims like the above can lead to a self-limiting mindset, which can keep you making these negative claims about yourself. This is a hard habit to shake, as your mindset keeps you making these negative claims.

Experts say that recognizing these negative thoughts is the first step to alleviating them. Keeping a thought journal to record the thoughts can help you pay attention to them, which can help you begin to change your mindset around said beliefs when they crop up in your vocabulary in the future.

2) “I can’t do that”

When you have low self-worth, you can adopt an extremely negative mindset about yourself and your own abilities. You might feel like you can’t do something when you can. Like going for the promotion when you’re fully qualified or agreeing to a date with someone you’re romantically interested in.

Sometimes, when you have low self-worth, you don’t actually believe that you can’t do something. You might instead be in the habit of rejecting change or new ideas, experts say.

For you, it might be habitual to say you can’t do things because that’s what you’ve always said when someone says you should go for the promotion! Rather than it being because you actually don’t believe you can do it.

3) “People like me don’t get to do things like that”

It isn’t uncommon for people with low self-worth to categorize themselves and their behavior, letting it define them. Experts refer to this as “social categorization” – which is when we categorize ourselves and others against certain behaviors we believe are acceptable for such persons. Everyone does this in daily life without even realizing and it isn’t generally problematic at all.

The problem only comes when you have low self-worth and you categorize yourself as unable to do or achieve certain things. It’s like if someone grew up poor and doesn’t feel like they can attend a prestigious college when they’re accepted in. Or someone who’s a recovered alcoholic doesn’t feel worthy of becoming a primary school teacher now in the present.

They believe their past behavior has placed them in a category for the future, and that they can’t escape it. When really, this is merely a belief, not a fact.

4) “I don’t deserve you”

When someone doesn’t feel worthy of love and affection, they probably won’t respond well to any love and affection they’re offered. Instead of accepting support and letting people in, they may try to push people away by telling them they don’t deserve them or their love.

This, of course, comes with its caveats, experts say. You could say this to a partner or friend to seek reassurance or even offer a compliment. By saying you don’t deserve someone, you could actually be showing how much you appreciate this person in your life.

However, it’s important to remember that in romantic relationships, a partner may say this to you because they know they actually don’t deserve you and they need to treat you better!

5) “That might work for you, but it won’t work for me”

Say your friend applies for a new job, gets it, and is unbelievably happy about it! Say they share the good news with you when you’re also unhappy at work right now. They recommend that you apply for a new job, too, so you can find happiness at work again.

If you had low self-esteem, how might you respond? Chances are, you won’t take the good news very well, let alone take the recommendation on board!

Why? The first response could stem from jealousy, but the second usually stems from a sense of worthlessness. When you feel this way, you might truly believe that even though good things happen to other people, you couldn’t do the same thing and get the same positive outcomes.

6) “Nothing ever works out for me”

On a similar note, someone doesn’t have to suggest something to you for you to feel like it’s out of reach. When you have low self-worth, you might just say this kind of thing of your own accord. You might be in conversation about anything at all and you might share your belief that nothing works out for you.

When you have low self-worth, you might genuinely believe this – that nothing ever works out for you. But you also might not.

Instead, you might say this to seek validation from others – to get reassurance that things will work out. Or to hear them say, “Yes, it does!” before reminding you of something that has worked out for you in the past.

7) “This is a stupid idea”

Remember when we said that people who feel worthless can adopt a negative mindset? Well, this negativity can specifically manifest itself as a fear of change.

When someone feels low in themselves, they can fear change more than most people. If change is proposed, like a new coworker suggesting a different method or a friend pulling them out onto the dancefloor, they can feel threatened and uncomfortable about the change – and call it stupid!

8) “I’m sorry [for absolutely everything]”

People over-apologize for all kinds of reasons. I know I’m guilty of it when I’m in a crowded room and people are bumping into me just as much as I’m bumping into them, yet I’m the only one apologizing!

But there are times when we apologize out of habit, and times we apologize out of deep-rooted insecurities. Or, more specifically, when we apologize due to a feeling that we aren’t worthy of talking, laughing, loving, being goofy, or simply walking through a crowd!

This is a tricky habit to shake, which is why experts recommend replacement rather than removal. Saying, “Thank you” instead of sorry can be a good next step. Repeating positive affirmations can also help, like telling yourself you’re worthy of taking up space whenever you want to apologize unnecessarily, or saying it yourself after you’ve said it.

9) “I’m so silly/awkward/foolish/idiotic / etc.”

Basically, any self-deprecating comment you can think of that relates to your personality! Self-deprecation is defined as a form of negative self-talk that reflects your cognitive state. Which, typically, is low self-esteem or self-worth.

Experts find that self-deprecating comments can be a form of self-sabotage. The act of giving voice to negative thoughts about yourself can, in turn, make you feel even more negative about yourself.

It’s worth remembering, however, that some people merely self-deprecate in an attempt to appear humble, modest, agreeable, or relatable. For example, exclaiming how clumsy you are to relieve the tension or distract partygoers from someone else who’s just broken a glass. It can also be used as a form of humor!

10) “I’m too [insert negative word about appearance]”

Overweight? Ugly? Whatever the word is, it’s negative and it’s about your appearance! Just like self-deprecating comments, giving voice to negative thoughts about your appearance can be just as damaging to your overall self-perception.

Unlike self-deprecating comments about your personality, saying negative things about your appearance isn’t done to appear more humble or relatable. Instead, it’s usually done out of genuine low self-worth or to seek reassurance from others.

While experts make it clear that there’s nothing wrong with seeking reassurance from our peers to feel a sense of belonging, they also say that when it’s done in this kind of way, it can actually make you feel worse instead of better.

Final thoughts

There’s nothing worse than having low self-esteem and poor self-worth. It can impact your enjoyment of life, your relationships, your career, and even your physical health.

The language you use may not seem important, but it can be the main thing that’s keeping you stuck in this negative pattern of not believing in yourself.

But once you start identifying your habitual self-limiting beliefs that manifest themselves in your conversations, you can begin your journey to change.