Do you have a colleague who always compliments you, but you cannot tell whether they are genuine?

Or are you trying to determine if your boss is giving you honest, constructive feedback or just trying to put you down?

Just like there are many ‘fake-kind’ people, there are also many ‘fake-honest’ people.

These individuals hide behind their claim of telling the truth, but everything they say comes across as blunt, arrogant, or dismissive.

So, how can you tell the difference between an honest and sincere person and someone who is just faking it?

Well, one way is WHAT they say. 

Psychologists have uncovered specific phrases that only honest and sincere people say. Keep reading to find out what they are…

What it means to be honest and sincere

While the terms honesty and sincerity are often used interchangeably, they have different meanings. In short, honesty means telling the truth, while sincerity is when you mean what you say.

Moreover, sincerity goes beyond words; a sincere person is always authentic in their actions and behaviors.

So when someone is honest and sincere, they are not being blunt, overly direct, or trying to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Their truth-telling is pure. It has no hidden motives and comes from a place of authenticity. 

Sincere people will tell you about your flaws to help you improve, while insincere people will point out your weaknesses to make themselves feel better.

With that in mind, here are seven phrases that only honest and sincere people use. In other words, if someone uses these phrases, you can rest assured that their intentions are genuine and innocent.

1) “I made a mistake”

Because sincere people value honesty so highly, they will tell the truth even when it makes them look bad.

This includes admitting their faults and taking responsibility.

While acknowledging their errors feels uncomfortable for sincere people, just as it does for everyone else, they don’t let this stop them.

Professor and researcher Brene Brown says admitting mistakes reflects a willingness to be vulnerable and accountable.

She says that when you say, “I messed up,” you choose courage over comfort and accountability over blame. This shows integrity and a growth mindset.

Thus, sincere people understand that owning up to their mistakes is essential for personal growth and maintaining trust in relationships. 

2) “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

Sincere people not only admit when they’ve made a mistake; they apologize when they are wrong.

A sincere apology, like “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” demonstrates humility and empathy. 

Honest individuals understand the impact of their actions on others and are willing to make amends. 

Robust scientific evidence shows that apologizing fosters forgiveness and reconciliation.

Sincere people value open and honest relationships, so they are willing to put their egos aside and apologize. By doing so, they can repair any harm caused by misunderstandings or conflicts. 

3) “What do you think?” 

If someone pretends to be sincere, they will only be interested in expressing their views and opinions.

This is because ‘fake honest’ people always have a hidden motive behind their truth-telling. They want to make you feel inadequate to feel better about themselves.

So, with ‘fake honest’ people, there will be no discussion. They will tell you what they think, but they don’t wait to hear your response, let alone ask what you think.

However…

When someone acknowledges the importance of another person’s opinion, they demonstrate openness and inclusivity. 

Moreover, when sincere people tell you something negative about yourself, they do so because they want you to become your best self.

To demonstrate their good intentions, they will share their views honestly yet discreetly and then ask what you think about their observation.

Encouraging you to share your thoughts and feelings creates a culture of mutual respect and understanding.

Moreover, while sincere people will happily tell you their honest opinions, they will never try to influence your decisions, which brings me to the following phrase…

4) “I’m here for you whatever you decide to do”

Unconditional acceptance lies at the core of sincere relationships. 

When someone expresses love or support without conditions or expectations, they demonstrate two things:

• High levels of empathy 
• Genuine appreciation for you

It also shows that they do not see themselves as superior to you. While they might spot your mistakes before you do, they don’t act like they are right and you are wrong.

This is because sincere people know that things are never black and white and that there is no absolute.

Their truth may not be your truth, so they will never try to pressure you. 

They will instead tell you that it is up to you and follow it up with this reassuring phrase, “I’m here for you no matter what.”

By showing unconditional acceptance to everyone they interact with, sincere people build solid connections and develop a reputation of being trustworthy and non-judgmental individuals. 

5) “I need your help”

Along with happily supporting others, sincere people are not afraid to be vulnerable and ask for help when needed.

This is because they know how helpful support and feedback are for a person’s personal growth.

By reaching out to others, sincere people create opportunities for collaboration while fostering relationships rich in trust and reciprocity.

However, insincere people are more likely to see asking for help as a sign of weakness. Hence, you’ll never hear this phrase from a ‘fake-honest’ person.

6) “I appreciate your …insert positive action…”

According to author, speaker, and coach Dr Cindy, genuine people possess a combination of positive traits:

• Honesty
• Authenticity
• Generosity
• Empathy
• Self-awareness
• Humility

Moreover, research has found connections between gratitude and several of these traits. For example, activity in the same part of the brain (the medial prefrontal cortex) increases when someone practices gratitude, generosity, and empathy.

Therefore, you will often sense an aura of appreciation in the words of a sincere person.

For example, sincere people may say something like:

• I appreciate your help
• I appreciate your honesty
• I appreciate your support

When someone acknowledges and appreciates another person’s honesty or support, it encourages continuous transparency and openness. 

Think about it…

Sincere people highly value honesty. 

So when they encounter someone who is also honest, they genuinely appreciate it and, thus, feel a need to express their gratitude.

7) “I admire your …insert quality…”

Now, let’s talk about the difference between sincere and insincere compliments.

When someone gives you a genuine compliment, they do so because they have noticed a specific quality of yours that they admire.

Thus, genuine compliments typically focus on a specific thing, while insincere compliments can be more broad and general.

Along with being specific, they will be far from superficial.

For example, let’s say someone says…

“I admire your humility despite your many accomplishments. You always remain grounded and approachable, which is truly commendable.”

The person has clearly thought deeply about what they wanted to say and pinpointed the exact quality of yours that they wanted to highlight.

Here’s another example:

“I love your hair” is very general, as the person does not specify what they love about your hair. Thus, it is likely an insincere compliment.

However…

“Your new haircut really brings out the color of your eyes” is much more specific as the person is detailing what they like about your new haircut. 

This compliment is more likely to come from a place of sincerity and authenticity.

Phrases honest and sincere people never use

Now you know what honest and sincere people say, let’s briefly look at common phrases you might hear from ‘fake-honest’ people or those lacking sincerity…

1. “I’m just saying it how it is.”
2. “I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking.”
3. “No offense, but…”
4. “Trust me.”
5. “Believe me.”
6. “I’m not going to lie.”

These phrases have a manipulative aspect to them or subtly deflect responsibility. Phrases like “I’m just saying it how it is” also minimize the impact the insincere person’s words may have.

Along with phrases, you can often spot ‘fake honesty’ via the person’s body language. 

For example, if someone compliments your haircut but then you notice them rolling their eyes, this is a clear sign it is NOT a genuine compliment. 

Final thoughts

While there are multiple ways to determine how honest a person is, it’s interesting to know that certain words and phrases can reveal true sincerity.

So, next time you’re unsure if someone is pretending to be sincere, listen to their words. Do they say any of the phrases explained above?

Moreover, tune in to how they make you feel, as energy never lies. 

A sincere person will make you feel safe and at ease. On the other hand, if someone is faking honesty, you’re more likely to feel insecure, tense, or uncomfortable.