What makes a man high value? The term “high-value man” has been floating around social media a lot these days, but what does it really mean?

The general view is that a high-value man is a guy who’s respectful, emotionally intelligent, and mature when it matters. I.e., he knows when to joke and when not to!

But that doesn’t really help us decipher who fits the bill, does it? Realistically, you need to know what phrases to look out for in a guy to determine more about him.

So let’s take a look! Our research tells us that a true, high-value man will live and breathe traits like the above – and they’ll show in the things he says.

Watch out for these 12 phrases only high-value men use in conversation, backed by psychology.

Up first:

1) “I understand what you’re saying, my view is…”

Everyone has different viewpoints. What I believe is probably very different to what you believe! In the same way that how I feel about something is different to how you do.

Like how I might interpret a friend’s behavior as totally unacceptable, but you might not.

Some guys don’t have a lot of tact when someone thinks differently to them. They don’t understand other people’s views at all. They think you’re wrong and they’re right – and they want to tell you exactly that!

More mature men know this isn’t right. They know the best way is to acknowledge how the other person feels and THEN say what they think.

2) “That must be hard”

When a guy says anything along these lines, he’s showing his emotional maturity. He’s expressing himself without realizing it. He’s also supporting you in more ways than he probably realizes.

Why? Because he’s showing empathy and understanding.

If you told a guy your childhood dog just died and he said, “Oh well, he had a good life, right?”, or if he tried to crack a joke, it probably wouldn’t make you feel that good.

You definitely wouldn’t feel supported! Because even though he’s TRYING and isn’t intentionally being malicious, he isn’t being supportive.

Which is why a guy who acknowledges your feelings or how you must be feeling has way more empathy and value.

3) “I’m happy for you”

Jealousy isn’t a good look on anyone. Of course, experts say it comes from a place of insecurity and fear, so it isn’t fair to say that men who feel jealous haven’t dealt with bad things in their pasts.

But even so, it isn’t a good trait. Men who can’t control their jealousy (or don’t want to) can do a ton of damage to the people around them.

They can hurt their relationships, family, and friends. They can even damage their careers! But mostly, their jealousy hurts them in the long run.

We all have jealous feelings and experts say they’re very normal. But expressing these feelings to the point you become bitter (and hurt others) isn’t OK.

It doesn’t matter if it’s easy or hard for him to say it, if he can say, “I’m happy for you”, he’s doing his best. That’s what makes him high value.

4) “What do you mean by that?”

It isn’t just jealousy that’s toxic, arrogance is up there, too! I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve worked with who pretend they know everything.

Admitting they don’t know something or asking a question just isn’t something they feel comfortable doing. They think it makes them look “weak” or foolish.

High-value men know this isn’t true. They know that asking questions is the BEST way to learn. They also know that pretending you know something when you don’t only leads you to actually look like a fool later!

5) “I feel…”

He could say anything at all about how he feels, like being angry, sad, confused, worried, stressed – anything at all. What matters is that he’s expressing his feelings.

I’m sure it’s no surprise to learn that many men struggle to talk about their emotions.

It isn’t their fault, of course. Research shows that men ARE born with a similar emotional capacity compared to women. Expressing their emotions is (generally speaking) discouraged during their early years (with dangerous expressions like man up, boys don’t cry, etc.).

But we can’t leave all accountability at the door for men who get DEEP into adulthood without reconnecting with their emotions. Emotional avoidance causes a ton of internal damage for many men, which is why many learn to work through it.

These kinds of men have high value, even when they’re just trying.

6) “I’m sorry”

Doesn’t everyone apologize when they’ve done something wrong? Unfortunately not. At least, not genuinely, anyway.

Some guys apologize in a way that research calls empty, incomplete, excessive, or non-existent. Which basically means, they don’t actually mean it.

When a guy has emotional intelligence and high value, he apologizes when he should – and he really means it! Saying sorry doesn’t hurt his pride. He’s stronger and more secure in himself than that.

7) “I was wrong / You’re right”

Speaking of empty apologies and pride, another thing high-value men do/say is admit when someone else is right and he is wrong.

Guys who just say sorry without any substance usually give, what experts call, a non-apology. Basically, they say the words but don’t really get what they did wrong or believe it was their fault.

Fessing up to your wrongdoings or admitting someone else is right isn’t easy for many of us. Which is why, when you can do it, it shows class and integrity. It also shows, you guessed it, maturity.

8) “How do you feel about that?”

We’ve already mentioned that guys who are in touch with their feelings are emotionally intelligent. But what’s even more emotionally intelligent is a guy who’s curious about yours, too.

When a guy is genuinely conscious of how someone else is feeling, especially during moments of hardship, it shows empathy and morality.

So if he asks how you feel and what you feel, it’s a strong sign that he’s a good egg.

9) “I worked together with…”

Or words to this effect. Basically, they give credit where credit is due.

I’ve worked with many people who, when they were commended for work, completely disregarded the other person who worked on it with them.

Like if a guy worked on a project with someone else and gets told he did a great job. He accepts the compliment and totally keeps quiet about the other guy who worked on the project with him.

That isn’t something you do when you have high value or integrity – no way.

When you have morals, you say, “Thanks, it’s appreciated! It was a joint effort with [Name], so I’ll pass it on!”.

10) “I respect your opinion on it”

One of the most important traits in a high-value man is respect. He respects everyone, regardless of who they are. Whether it’s the cleaner at work or the CEO of a company, he has respect for them.

His respect for humanity generally extends to the things other people say, too.

It’s like what we said earlier, everyone has a different opinion on things. Some guys don’t like that or even see it. They think THEIR way is the only way. But that isn’t as emotionally mature as those who get it.

So a guy who tells you he respects your views is high value, no doubt.

11) “Thanks for your support”

Remember when we said that high-value men don’t take all the credit for the work others do? Well, they also don’t take, take, take without showing any gratitude!

They aren’t entitled or expectant that you’ll just DO things for them.

No – instead, a high-value man recognizes when others have helped him, especially if they’ve made a personal sacrifice, and he’ll show appreciation for it.

12) “How does that work?”

It’s a bit like the old joke about men not wanting to ask for directions. Some guys (and people, generally) don’t like asking how, what, when, or where. They think they should know all the answers and believe that if they don’t, they’re “less”.

But curiosity is a good thing. Experts say it’s good for your mind, learning, creativity, and even your job satisfaction. The more curious you are, the more successful and happy you can become!

So a man who’s curious and open to learning new things, often asking how things work or what something’s all about, is 100% high value.

Final thoughts

Actions speak louder than words, as the saying goes, so you have to pay attention to what he does as well as what he says to determine his character.

But as you can see from everything we’ve said above, there’s a pretty good chance that he’s mature, respectful, and very self-aware if he says things like this.

So if you NEVER hear him say anything like these phrases, it doesn’t matter how many car doors he opens for you, he might not be as mature, emotionally intelligent, or even respectful as he seems…