People with narcissistic personality disorder make up about 6% of the population. For every 100 people you meet, 6 of them might be narcissists. 

When narcissists single you out as a target plaything, life gets a little wild. 

In the early days, you’ll feel the unique euphoria that only a narcissist’s charm can evoke.

It’s hard to withstand the allure of being showered with flattery, gifts, and fantastical visions of a future life together. 

They’ll be the most amicable person you’ve ever met — until they’re not. 

When it’s time for them to shed their good-natured mask, things will quickly spiral downward and you’ll see the spite, bitterness, and even malice swelling up from beneath the surface. 

We have to pity them — they can’t change their personalities. On the other hand, we also need to know how to protect ourselves from them. 

Narcissists are quite predictable — they use the same playbooks of phrases.

In this article, I’ll share 9 psychologically backed statements narcissists use to manipulate you. Hopefully, it helps you identify them before the situation goes too far. 

1) “You’re my only true friend”

A major red flag that someone is a narcissist is their lack of close or long-term friends. This is because they have difficulty maintaining friendships. 

They’ll often tell you you’re their only friend, and you know what — they’re probably telling the truth for once. 

Narcissists burn bridges — it’s just what they do. They repeat the same cycle in almost every relationship, hurting the people they get close to. 

Think about it — how does a person end up with no friends? 

It can be hard to reconcile the fact that the charming person in front of you has no close friends. They seem extraordinarily friendly and nice, don’t they? 

You might even be thinking they’re your soulmate. I wonder who put that idea there?

2) “You’re my soulmate”

Ah, the soulmate card. Narcissists play it early and play it well. They want you to believe you’re destined to be together, that your connection is otherworldly.

But beware, this proclamation might be a manufactured illusion. Narcissists are skilled at creating a mirage of profound connection to draw you into their web.

As they weave tales of a shared destiny, it could be just another manipulative move to tighten their grip on you.

3) “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met”

While being showered with compliments feels amazing, the narcissist’s excessive praise might be more about them than you.

They use hyperbole to inflate your importance, making you more susceptible to their influence.

This constant admiration can cloud your judgment, blurring the lines between reality and their carefully crafted fantasy.

Stay grounded and be wary of a charm offensive that seems too good to be true.

In the narcissist’s world, flattery is a tool — not a genuine expression of admiration. It’s an extremely common feature of the “love bombing” stage in narcissistic relationships. 

Here are some other signs you’re being love-bombed by a narcissist: 

• You’re getting lots of small gifts and trinkets
• They make you feel elated with an intense boost in self-esteem
• They always tell you how unique and special you are

During the love bombing stage, the relationship will feel intoxicating, but suspiciously so. Follow your instincts — it could be too good to be true. 

Is it just a coincidence that this person thinks you’re the most amazing thing, wants what you want, and has all the same hobbies as you? 

4) “I love … too”

According to Oscar Wilde, “Imitation is the highest form of flattery.” — I think most narcissists innately know this. To deepen your bond with them, they’ll mirror you.

“Mirroring” is their secret weapon. They excel at reflecting your interests, values, and even emotions back at you. 

It can be so refreshing to finally feel seen, understood, and perfectly compatible with someone who just gets you. 

Unfortunately, it’s a calculated move to create a false sense of connection and compatibility.

If they suddenly declare shared passions, be cautious. It might be a well-crafted mirroring act designed to make you feel like kindred spirits. 

Genuine love and shared interests develop over time, not overnight.

If someone you meet is showering you with compliments and somehow likes everything you like, you’re well within your rights to be suspicious.

5) “Why are you doing this to me?”

According to Dr. Ramani, a narcissistic personality disorder expert, narcissists often play the victim card as a manipulation tool.

When you call them out on their behavior, they’ll likely try to turn the tables and assume the role of the victim — making you the perpetrator.

They shift blame, making you question your actions and motives. This emotional guilt trip is a tool to regain control of the situation. 

When regular people are accused of being abusive, we stop and genuinely reflect on our behavior. We ask ourselves if our behavior has been unfair.

A narcissist will want you to believe that. 

Don’t fall into the trap of accepting unwarranted guilt. Instead, recognize it for what it is — a tactic to divert attention from their own questionable behavior.

6) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

Dr. Ramani also highlights how narcissists use the phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way” to deflect blame. 

It’s almost like they’re saying “I’m sorry that you are emotionally out of control and feel the need to blame me.” 

It makes you look pathological for reacting to their abuse.

By saying this, they’re trying to avoid accountability, leaving you questioning the validity of your feelings.

Remember, a sincere apology acknowledges the wrongdoing, not just your emotional response.

It’s a classic non-apology and if it rings alarm bells, it could mean you need to evaluate your situation more closely.

You should recognize it as a strategy and don’t let yourself feel crazy when you’re not.

7) “That’s not what happened”

Gaslighting is another one of the narcissist’s tools for manipulation. 

When they deny things that happened, it’s not a mere disagreement over facts; it’s a calculated move to erode your confidence in your own understanding of events.

The intent behind it is to destabilize your perception of reality. The narcissist wants you to question your memory, your sanity, and ultimately your ability to discern the truth. 

It’s a tactic designed to create confusion, leaving you emotionally vulnerable and more susceptible to their manipulation.

Other types of gaslighting include: 

• Outright lying
• Claiming victimhood
• Scapegoating
• Warping facts and history

They exploit the human tendency to doubt oneself. Your instincts may scream that something is amiss, and it’s crucial to heed that inner voice.

Trust your gut feelings; they often serve as a reliable compass in the face of gaslighting.

Don’t let the gaslighter mold your memories to fit their twisted narrative. Hold onto your reality with steadfast conviction. 

Protect yourself from the corrosive effects of gaslighting. Your clarity and self-assurance become the antidote to their attempts to rewrite history.

8) “You’re too sensitive”

When a narcissist utters the dismissive remark, “You’re too sensitive,” it’s akin to tossing emotional grenades into the conversation. 

This phrase isn’t a casual observation but a strategic move designed to undermine the legitimacy of your feelings.

Imagine expressing genuine concerns or emotions, only to be met with the callous brush-off of “You’re too sensitive.” 

It’s an attempt to trivialize your emotions, casting them aside as insignificant or irrational.

The narcissist aims to diminish the importance of what you’re feeling, creating a power dynamic that favors their control.

This tactic is part of a larger playbook where they seek to invalidate your emotional experiences. 

By labeling you as overly sensitive, they hope to establish a narrative that positions them as rational and stable while painting your feelings as an overreaction or a flaw.

9) “You did this to yourself”

Blame-shifting reaches its peak with the phrase, “You did this to yourself.” Narcissists refuse to take responsibility for their actions, pushing the blame onto you.

Recognize this tactic for what it is — a desperate attempt to avoid accountability. 

In the face of such blame-shifting, it’s critical not to succumb to the manipulation. Don’t take their bait to internalize the false narrative they’re attempting to construct. 

Understand accountability is a shared responsibility in any relationship, and no one should coerce you into bearing the brunt of their actions.

Final thoughts

Narcissists easily slip through your detection — especially in the early stages of your relationship with them. 

Far from feeling like the twisted abusive battleground that it turns out to be, the early days are filled with romance and marked by extreme flattery and gifts. 

With their charm and charisma, they leave you feeling euphoric and valued — until the devaluation stage. Narcissists devalue you as a defense mechanism to protect their self-esteem. 

This can leave you with intense emotional scars and it’s better to avoid getting to that stage.

By knowing which phrases narcissists use, you can identify them early on and get yourself out of harm’s way quickly.

They might be suffering, too. But you should prioritize your self-care and emotional health.