7 phrases narcissists use to gain your trust and keep you dependent on them

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | October 4, 2024, 1:59 pm

You may not even realize you’re being manipulated until it’s too late.

You see, narcissists have a knack for using certain phrases that can make you trust them more and leave you feeling dependent on their approval.

Let’s dive into these 7 phrases narcissists use to gain your trust and keep you dependent on them.

Stay with me here, it’s going to be a revealing journey.

1) “You’re the only one who understands me”

This phrase is a classic.

Narcissists are experts at making you feel special.

The moment they say, “You’re the only one who understands me,” it can make you feel like you’ve been chosen, hand-picked from the crowd.

It’s flattering and intimate.

But here’s the catch.

This phrase is often a manipulative tool. By making you feel unique, they create a bond that can lead to an unhealthy level of dependency.

You become their confidante, their go-to person, making it hard for you to distance yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, being there for someone is not a bad thing. But with narcissists, it’s not about mutual support; it’s about keeping you anchored to them.

Remember that real friendships and relationships are based on reciprocity and balance.

2) “I’ve never met anyone like you before”

Let me share a story.

Some years ago, I met someone who constantly praised me with phrases like this.

It felt amazing to be seen in such a positive light by someone I admired.

However, over time, I began to notice a pattern. This person never really acknowledged their own faults or apologized for any wrongdoings.

It was always about how great I was, and how much they needed me.

At first glance, this might seem like a compliment. But, it’s another common phrase narcissists use to make you feel indispensable.

In my case, I eventually realized that this individual was not praising me out of genuine admiration.

Instead, they were using flattery to keep me around, to keep me invested in the relationship.

It was a tough pill to swallow, but an important lesson learned.

Always question excessive praise and remember your worth is not dependent on anyone else’s validation.

3) “I can’t imagine my life without you”

I recall a time when someone close to me would often say, “I can’t imagine my life without you.” It sounded so romantic, so devoted.

I felt valued and important.

Yet, as time went on, I found that these words were less about love and more about control.

This person would use this phrase whenever I tried to establish boundaries or when I wanted to spend time with other friends.

It was as if they were subtly implying that my actions would cause them unimaginable pain.

I felt guilty and conflicted. I didn’t want to hurt them, so I often compromised my own needs and desires.

What I learned?

Such a phrase, while seemingly heartfelt, can be a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make you feel responsible for their happiness.

It’s healthy to have your own space in any relationship. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting that.

4) “We’re so alike, we’re soulmates”

Sounds like a line straight out of a romantic movie, doesn’t it?

Narcissists often use phrases like this to create a seemingly unbreakable bond.

This phrase is designed to make you feel as though you share a unique and rare connection, something that is too precious to let go.

But let’s break this down.

By portraying themselves as your perfect match, narcissists can manipulate you into thinking that any disagreements or conflicts are minor hiccups in an otherwise perfect relationship.

This can make it harder for you to recognize any toxic patterns or behaviors.

Here’s the truth.

No two people are completely alike, and that’s okay.

Differences in opinion and interests don’t devalue a relationship, they add to its richness and depth. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

5) “No one else will ever love you like I do”

This one is a tough pill to swallow.

Phrases like “No one else will ever love you like I do” can be both flattering and terrifying.

On one hand, it seems like the ultimate declaration of love. On the other, it’s a veiled threat, implying that without them, you’ll be unlovable.

Love isn’t about possession or control. Love is about respect, trust, and mutual growth.

There’s no such thing as irreplaceable love because everyone loves differently.

Don’t let anyone make you believe that you’re unlovable without them.

6) “I hate how everyone is jealous of us”

There was a time when someone in my life would often say, “I hate how everyone is jealous of us.”

At first, it seemed like a way of boasting about our strong bond and unique connection.

However, I soon realized it was more about isolating me from others.

This person was subtly painting everyone outside of our relationship as envious or hostile. It felt like it was us against the world.

This kind of tactic can create an ‘us versus them’ mentality, making you feel wary of others’ intentions and more reliant on the narcissist.

Real relationships don’t thrive in isolation. They flourish with the support of friends and family.

If someone is trying to cut you off from your support network, it’s a red flag worth paying attention to.

7) “I’d be lost without you”

This phrase can appear endearing, even romantic.

However, in the context of a narcissistic relationship, it’s often used to make you feel responsible for the other person’s well-being.

It’s crucial to understand that such a responsibility is not yours to bear. You’re not someone’s emotional life raft.

Each person is accountable for their own happiness and stability.

Love and manipulation should never coexist.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and independence, not dependency.

Final thoughts

This realization can feel unsettling, but it’s also empowering.

Knowledge is power, and now that you’re aware of these manipulative tactics, you have the power to change the dynamics.

Your worth is not determined by someone else’s perception of you.

Look for relationships that uplift you, respect your boundaries, and celebrate your individuality.

Start by acknowledging your feelings when these phrases are used.

Pause and reflect – do they leave you feeling cherished or controlled?

This self-awareness is the first step towards healthier relationships.

It won’t be an overnight transformation; such changes take time.

But every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.

In the end, always choose respect over manipulation, authenticity over pretense, and love over control.

Trust in your strength and resilience.

You’re more capable than you know.