8 phrases manipulators use to play the victim, according to psychology
Ever feel like someone’s trying to twist a story and make you the bad guy? You’re not alone.
Sometimes, people use clever tricks to make themselves look like the victim.
In this article, we are going to unveil 8 common phrases manipulators use to play the victim.
Remember, it’s crucial to trust your own feelings when dealing with people who might be trying to play the victim.
It’s not about pointing fingers, but about understanding these tricks so you can look after yourself.
Buckle up, because this could be a real game-changer!
1) “You don’t understand what I’m going through”
This is a common phrase you’ll hear from someone who’s trying to play the victim. Why?
Because it puts you in a tough spot.
It makes you feel guilty for not seeing things from their perspective.
When someone says, “You don’t understand what I’m going through,” they’re trying to make their problems seem bigger and more complicated than they really are.
This is a manipulative move designed to make you feel like you have to help them or give in to their demands.
So the next time someone uses this line on you, take a step back and think: Are they genuinely looking for understanding?
Or are they just trying to manipulate the situation to their advantage?
Trust your gut feelings, and don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
2) “I can never do anything right”
Ever heard someone say this? It’s a classic trick in the manipulator’s book.
By saying “I can never do anything right”, they’re fishing for your sympathy and trying to avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes.
What they’re doing is called self-deprecation.
It’s when they put themselves down so that you feel sorry for them.
And if you’re busy feeling sorry for them, you’re less likely to notice that they’re avoiding blame for something they’ve done wrong.
So, if someone pulls this move on you, don’t fall for it.
Stand your ground and remember: Everyone is responsible for their own actions. No amount of self-pity should be used to escape that.
3) “Why does this always happen to me?”
This is another classic line manipulator use.
They say “Why does this always happen to me?” to paint themselves as an innocent victim of bad luck or circumstances.
Let me share a personal example.
I once had a friend who seemed to be the unluckiest person in the world.
Every time we met, she had another story about something terrible happening to her.
I felt sorry for her and found myself going out of my way to help her.
But after a while, I came to understand that many of these “unfortunate events” were the result of her own decisions.
She was late for work because she overslept, not because her car broke down.
She couldn’t pay her bills because she spent too much on non-essentials, not because she was underpaid.
When I confronted her about this, she brushed it off with “Why does this always happen to me?”
That’s when I realized that she was using these stories as a way to avoid taking responsibility for her actions.
So next time someone hits you with this line, remember my story.
It’s possible that they’re trying to avoid taking responsibility for their actions by playing the victim card.
4) “I’m not upset. You’re just overreacting”
This phrase is a prime example of gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone tries to make you doubt your own feelings or perceptions.
They might say things like “I’m not upset. You’re just overreacting.” to shift the blame onto you and avoid dealing with their actions.
So take note and remember: If someone tells you that you’re overreacting, take a step back to evaluate and trust your feelings.
You have every right to feel the way you do, and no one should make you question that.
5) “I’m sorry you feel that way”
This phrase may sound like an apology, but it’s not.
It’s a clever way for a manipulator to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Instead of apologizing for what they did, they’re apologizing for how you feel about it.
Now, let’s get real for a moment.
We’ve all been hurt by someone’s actions or words at some point.
And we’ve all experienced the sting when someone doesn’t truly apologize for their wrongdoings.
Instead, they say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
It hurts because it invalidates our feelings.
It makes us question whether we have the right to feel upset or hurt.
But let me tell you this: Your feelings are valid.
You have every right to feel the way you do.
Never let anyone make you think otherwise.
So, if someone “apologizes” with this phrase, know that it’s not about your feelings being wrong.
It’s about their unwillingness to accept responsibility for their actions.
6) “I didn’t mean to hurt you”
Sometimes people say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you” to make their actions seem less harmful than they were.
It’s a way of avoiding blame while still looking like they’re sorry.
I remember an experience from my own life.
I had a friend who would often say hurtful things.
When I confronted him about it, he would always respond with “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
At first, I felt guilty for being upset, thinking that I was overreacting since he didn’t ‘mean’ to hurt me.
But after a while, I realized that whether he intended to hurt me or not, his words were still causing me pain.
The important thing to remember is that intent doesn’t always lessen the impact!
If someone’s actions or words hurt you, your feelings are valid, regardless of their intent.
So don’t let anyone downplay your feelings with this phrase.
7) “Nobody else has a problem with me”
This one stings, right? When someone hits you with the “Nobody else has a problem with me” line, it’s like a slap in the face.
They’re not just avoiding the issue – they’re turning it around and making it about you.
They’re saying, “Hey, if everyone else is cool with me and you’re not, then the problem must be with you.”
It’s a clever way to make you question your own judgment, to make you feel like maybe you are being too sensitive or unreasonable.
But let’s get real here.
Just because someone else doesn’t have an issue with them doesn’t mean that your feelings are invalid.
It doesn’t mean that your issues with them are made up or petty.
Your feelings are your feelings. They’re real. They’re valid.
Don’t let anyone manipulate you into doubting yourself with this line.
Stand your ground and trust your judgment!
8) “I was just joking”
Manipulators often use this phrase to cover up their hurtful comments.
If you get upset, they’ll say you’re overreacting and that they were “just joking.”
The thing is, jokes are supposed to be funny; if you don’t think it’s funny, then it’s not a joke.
And it’s not your lack of humor that’s the problem.
It’s their lack of respect for your feelings.
Don’t let anyone make light of your emotions or make you feel guilty for being hurt.
Your feelings are valid and deserve to be respected.
Conclusion
It’s important to recognize these red flags for what they are: Manipulators tactics
By acknowledging these signs, you understand the intention behind them and can avoid falling into the trap.
Remember, it’s okay to stand up for yourself and trust your gut instincts.
Your feelings and opinions are valid, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.