Some people have powerful tongues.

Like a Bene Gesserit, they’re able to persuade anyone to do anything they want by simply uttering a few simple phrases.

They can sell anything (even garbage).

They can influence anyone’s thoughts—even the stubborn and principled.

Kinda scary, right?

That’s why if you want to protect yourself from them—or if you want to be more like them— you have to know the words they use and why they’re so effective.

In this article, I’ll give you 8 phrases highly persuasive people use to get their way, according to psychology.

1) “Just this once…”

“Can I use your car? JUST THIS ONCE, I promise!”

“I know you don’t usually let me go out. But can tonight be an exception? Please allow me to have fun JUST THIS ONCE.”

“Can you stay longer, JUST THIS ONCE?”

“Just this once” is one of those phrases that can make you feel like an asshole if you don’t give them what they ask from you.

Because saying “no” would make you seem heartless. 

After all, them telling you “just this once” is a promise that they won’t do it again. And psychologically, we tend to give favors to people who are accountable.

Promises serve as a social contract and in an ideal world, we’d all keep our promises to each other. And so when someone says “just this once”, you can’t help but say yes—at least just this once.

2) “Just one more thing…”

Or “Just one more time” or “Just one more hour” …just one more whatever.

In psychology, this is called moving the goal post, and it’s one of the cleverest manipulation techniques.

They will ask for small favors (at first) then when you give them exactly what they asked for, they’ll ask for one more, then one more, then one more. Or a totally new “small favor”.

“Just one more thing” is a favorite phrase of highly persuasive people because it almost always works. 

And if you declines the “add-ons” to their requests, it’s fine…they already got something from you anyway. 

When someone turns you down for asking $20 more after you gave them $40, it doesn’t sting as much as them rejecting you for borrowing $60.

And when you call them out for their behavior, they’d say “Well, I just tried. But of course you’re already very generous!”

3) “You’ve always been so kind to me…”

Highly persuasive people are able to manipulate others by the power of praise.

But it’s not really a genuine praise. It’s a compliment with an ulterior motive aka flattery.

Flattery works because we humans are socially and psychologically designed to give back.

When we hear flattery, we can’t help but feel good about ourselves. So in return, we want to give favors to the giver of the praise.

So if someone praises you way too much, pause and ask yourself: “Are they genuine or are they just flattering me to get what they want?”

And there’s also what we call positive reinforcement. 

It’s praising someone for specific behaviors so they’ll keep doing it.

If a highly persuasive person wants you to be generous, they’d praise you for your generosity (even if you aren’t really that generous!).

If they want you to be patient, they’d tell you “I’m glad you’re not impatient like my other clients!”

4) “I don’t want to force you, but…”

Self-awareness is a psychological trick that really works wonders!

By being “real” and “straightforward,”  it’s as if they’re being honest and genuine and accountable for their actions towards you.

It also makes them look funny and harmless. 

This is really interesting because they’re actually giving you a warning of what they’re about to do…and yet, because they’re self-aware, you’re going to let them get away with it anyway.

“I don’t want to be annoying, but…” (they’ll say something annoying anyway).

“I don’t want to offend you, but…” (they’ll say something offensive anyway).

“I don’t want to pressure you, but…” (they’ll pressure you anyway).

Be careful around people who are using “self-awareness” to charm others. They’re so powerful that they could start a cult!

5) “I know you care so much about…”

Uhmmm…you didn’t tell them you care about anything really.

And yet they insist that you do!

What’s going on?

Well, they WANT you to feel like you actually care about something that they care about, of course.

Let’s say you’re trying to save up so you don’t want to join your family’s trip to Japan this year.

You go “Sorry sis. I can’t go.”

Your highly persuasive sister will make you go by saying “Okay. But I know you care so much about our family. Maybe you can just set aside a few dollars every month.”

Or let’s say a highly persuasive friend wants you to pick up another friend at the airport.

They’d go “I know you’re busy but I also know you care a lot about Danny. So please pick him up at the airport at 8pm.”

This works because not following their orders would make it seem like you don’t care—which is not the truth but it will SEEM like it.

6) “I’ll make sure you won’t regret it…”

Sometimes, it’s hard for us to make decisions because we’re scared of the consequences.

We think “Hmmm, if I buy this product, will I just be wasting my money?”

Or “If I hire this person, will they actually be an asset to the company?

Or “If I accept his marriage proposal, will I actually be happy?”

And so the highly persuasive person will address your worries by giving you promises.

They’ll convince you to give them what they want by saying “I’ll make sure you won’t regret it.”

After all, words like these are like music to the ears for anxious people with trust issues.

This kind of manipulation is an example of Future Faking. 

It’s basically them giving you reassuring words and grand promises so you’ll give them what they want right now.

7) “Do you trust me?”

This is hard because, given that the person asking this has never committed any major offense,  you can’t say “No” to this question without appearing like the bad guy.

And so of course, you’d say “yes”.

And if you say “yes”, they’d give you the call to action!

After all, you DO trust them, right? They’re challenging you to SHOW it—to show that you indeed trust them by letting them get their way!

They’d say things like “If you really trust me, then you’d let me borrow your car.”

Or “If you really trust me, then you’d let me take the lead.”

Brilliant.

8) “I’m glad you’re not like everyone else…”

Huh?! What are they talking about?

You’re definitely like everyone else but they make YOU feel like you’re not!

What’s happening?

Well, they probably think you’re insecure and you need some validation of some kind. Again, flattery.

By saying “I’m glad you’re not like everyone else”, they want to make you feel like you’re special so you’d do something special for them in return.

What makes this powerful is that it isn’t just a regular kind of flattery,  it’s the kind that encourages you to be their HERO. And if you have a hero complex, this will work on you.

“No one else cared for my project. But good thing, you’re not like everyone else.”

“Our friends didn’t give me money for my trip to Japan. Good thing you’re generous unlike them.”

EEEPS. 

Now you have no choice but to play the hero or else they’d remove you from the pedestal.

Final thoughts

Do you know someone who uses these phrases a lot?

Watch out!

They could get anything they want and even get away with murder!

It’s not like they’re bad people—NO!

It’s just that they’re very skilled at using words to persuade others. 

And just like any skill, it can be used in a good way or in a bad way.

It all boils down to how they use their superpower.

And if you want to be more highly persuasive, try using these words the next time you want to get your way and see how powerful they can be.