Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt completely justified, only to be made to feel like you were the one at fault?

High-level manipulators are experts at turning the tables, using subtle phrases to make you doubt your actions, intentions, and even your sense of right and wrong.

In this article, we’ll uncover 8 common phrases used by high-level manipulators to make you feel like you’re the problem.

Let’s dive into the words that turn the tables and how you can stop them from affecting you.

1) “You’re overreacting”

This phrase is a classic tool in the high-level manipulator’s arsenal. By telling you that you’re overreacting, they are attempting to discredit your feelings and experiences, subtly shifting the blame onto you.

Imagine you confront them about a situation that caused you distress. Instead of acknowledging your feelings or discussing the issue, they dismiss your concerns with a simple, “You’re overreacting”.

Suddenly, the focus is no longer on their actions, but on your response to those actions.

This tactic is designed to make you question your own judgement and perception of reality. It leaves you feeling anxious, guilty, or even paranoid for reacting the way you did.

The goal here isn’t to resolve the issue or address your concerns—it’s to make you feel like you’re in the wrong for having those concerns in the first place.

This is manipulation at its finest, making you second-guess yourself while they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

2) “I didn’t mean it that way”

This phrase may seem innocent at first glance. After all, we all say things we don’t mean sometimes, right?

But in the hands of a high-level manipulator, it’s a powerful tool to deflect responsibility.

Let’s set the scene: you’ve just been hurt by something they’ve said or done. You gather your courage to address it, expecting an apology or at least a discussion. Instead, they respond with, “I didn’t mean it that way”.

Suddenly, the issue isn’t what they said or did, but how you interpreted it. It places the blame for the misunderstanding on you, subtly implying that you’re too sensitive or can’t take a joke.

Despite its apparent innocence, this phrase is a clever ploy to avoid accountability.

It turns the tables and shifts the focus from their actions to your reaction. It leaves you feeling guilty for misinterpreting their intentions and questioning your own judgement.

Meanwhile, they walk away unscathed, not having to acknowledge or address the hurt they’ve caused.

3) “I’m only trying to help”

This phrase is often used by manipulators under the guise of concern or care.

By presenting their actions as merely attempts to help, they can deflect criticism and make you feel guilty for questioning their motives.

Consider this scenario: the manipulator offers unsolicited advice or interferes in your affairs in a way that feels intrusive or controlling. When you express your discomfort, they respond with, “I’m only trying to help”.

According to cognitive psychology, we’re more likely to doubt our feelings when someone presents their actions as being for our own good. It makes us question whether we’re being ungrateful or overly sensitive.

In reality, this phrase is often used as a smokescreen to hide controlling behavior and dismiss your feelings.

It’s a way for the manipulator to maintain the upper hand while making you feel like you’re in the wrong for not appreciating their ‘help’.

4) “You always take things too personally”

This manipulation tactic can feel especially hurtful because it’s aimed straight at your personality, your character. It’s as if they’re saying there’s something wrong with the core of who you are.

Maybe you’re the type of person who feels things deeply, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive or empathetic. It’s what makes you human, what makes you uniquely you.

But when a manipulator says, “You always take things too personally”, they’re trying to make you feel flawed for these qualities.

They’re suggesting that your reactions are unreasonable and that the problem lies with you, not with their actions.

But this isn’t true. Your feelings are valid, and a manipulator using this phrase is trying to undermine that truth to escape accountability.

5) “I was just joking”

We’ve all been there, right? Someone says something hurtful, you react, and suddenly they were “just joking.”

This phrase is a common manipulation tool that works to make your feelings seem like an overreaction.

Picture this: they make a comment that stings, maybe it’s a belittling remark or a harsh critique. When you express your hurt, they quickly retreat with, “I was just joking.”

What they’re actually doing is trying to shift the blame onto you for not ‘getting’ their humor.

It’s a sneaky way to avoid responsibility for their hurtful words while making you feel like you’re in the wrong for not laughing it off.

Jokes can be hurtful and it’s okay to express that. A manipulator using this phrase is trying to hide behind humor to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

6) “That’s not what happened”

Gaslighting is a common manipulation tactic, and “That’s not what happened” is one of its key phrases.

A manipulator uses this to make you doubt your memory, perception, and sanity.

For example, let’s say a friend once promised to support your new business venture.

However, when you finally launched, they were nowhere to be found. When you confront them about it, they insist, “That’s not what happened,” even though you clearly remember the conversation.

By denying the reality of past events, manipulators can make you question your memory and judgement. It’s a powerful way to keep you off balance and maintain control over the narrative.

7) “Everyone else agrees with me”

Ah, the bandwagon manipulation tactic.

The phrase “Everyone else agrees with me” is designed to make you feel isolated and wrong for having your own opinion or perspective.

Let’s get real here, it doesn’t matter how many people agree with them. Your feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of whether anyone else ‘gets’ it or not.

Manipulators resort to this phrase to make you feel outnumbered and alone in your viewpoint. They want you to doubt your stance and conform to theirs instead.

Stand your ground. Don’t let the fear of going against the crowd make you dismiss your own truth.

Popularity doesn’t necessarily equate to correctness. Your perspective matters just as much as anyone else’s.

8) “You’re just too sensitive”

This phrase is a manipulator’s favorite because it’s a direct attack on your feelings. They’re telling you that you’re wrong for feeling the way you do.

Here’s the most important thing you need to remember: Your feelings are valid. Period. No one else gets to decide that for you.

Manipulators use the phrase “You’re just too sensitive” to invalidate your emotions and make you feel guilty for having them.

It’s a way to divert attention from their actions by focusing on your reaction.

But you have every right to feel the way you do. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Stand firm in your truth, trust your feelings, and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into thinking otherwise.

Conclusion

Recognizing the phrases used by high-level manipulators is a crucial step in protecting yourself from their tactics.

Once you understand how they twist your words and emotions to make you feel responsible for things that aren’t your fault, you can regain control of the situation.

Their manipulation is a reflection of their own issues, not your reality.

Trust your instincts, set firm boundaries, and don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty for things outside your control.