There’s a fine line between influencing and gaslighting—and the key difference is intent.

Gaslighting manipulates someone into doubting their reality, often disguised as care or concern.

Gaslighters rely on specific phrases to achieve this, and though subtle, they can be identified with the help of therapists.

Here are 8 common phrases gaslighters use to make you question your sanity, as revealed by experts:

1) “You’re overreacting”

One common thread in gaslighting is the attempt to undermine someone’s emotions or reactions.

Gaslighters often use the phrase “You’re overreacting” to make their victims question the validity of their feelings.

This tactic attempts to shift the blame onto the victim, making them feel as if their response is irrational or unjustified.

Therapists warn that this is a classic gaslighting phrase, designed to make you doubt your own reactions and emotions.

It’s a way of dismissing your feelings, and subtly suggesting that your instincts are wrong.

2) “I never said that”

A phrase I’ve often heard in my life is “I never said that”.

It’s one that gaslighters use frequently to make their victims question their memory.

I remember a past relationship where this phrase was a constant.

We would have a conversation, and later when I would refer back to it, he would deny ever having said certain things.

It got to the point where I started doubting my own memory.

Therapists suggest this is a typical gaslighting tactic.

It’s designed to create confusion and make you question your own sanity.

In retrospect, I realize it was a form of manipulation, a way to control the narrative and deflect blame.

3) “You’re so sensitive”

” You’re so sensitive” is a phrase often used by gaslighters to invalidate your feelings.

By labeling you as overly sensitive, they can dismiss your reactions to their actions.

This tactic is often employed to belittle and demean, making you question whether your feelings are valid or you’re just being overly emotional.

According to research published in the Evoke Therapy Programs, individuals who frequently hear they’re “too sensitive” may start to internalize this message, leading to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.

This phrase can be a powerful tool in the hands of a gaslighter, making their victims feel small and emotionally unstable.

4) “It’s all in your head”

Gaslighters often use the phrase “It’s all in your head” to dismiss your feelings or concerns.

This phrase is designed to sow seeds of doubt about your own perceptions and experiences.

By suggesting that the problem is a figment of your imagination, gaslighters can make you feel like you’re going crazy or making things up.

Therapists warn that this tactic can be incredibly damaging, leading to self-doubt and confusion.

It’s a way for the gaslighter to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and instead blame the victim for their own distress.

5) “You’re crazy”

When gaslighters use the phrase “You’re crazy,” it can be particularly hurtful.

This is a direct assault on your mental stability, designed to make you question your sanity.

Gaslighters use this phrase to convince you that your reactions, feelings, or thoughts are not just wrong, but a sign of mental instability.

This can lead to feelings of isolation and despair, as you start to believe that there’s something seriously wrong with you.

Therapists advise that it’s important to remember that no one has the right to label you or question your sanity.

If someone in your life repeatedly calls you crazy, know that it’s not a reflection of your mental health, but a manipulation tactic.

You deserve respect and understanding, not gaslighting.

6) “You’re imagining things”

The phrase “You’re imagining things” is another common tool in the gaslighter’s arsenal.

It’s used to make you question the reality of your experiences and feelings.

I recall a time when I was constantly told that I was imagining things.

It felt like a constant battle to trust my own perceptions, and it was exhausting.

Every disagreement or concern was met with the statement that I was just making things up.

Therapists agree this is a classic gaslighting phrase, aimed at making you doubt your own senses and experiences.

If you’re regularly being told that you’re imagining things, it could be a sign of gaslighting.

Remember, your experiences are valid, and they matter.

7) “I’m just joking”

The phrase “I’m just joking” is a common tactic used by gaslighters to dismiss their inappropriate or hurtful behavior.

By saying they were just kidding, gaslighters attempt to shift the blame onto you for not understanding their “humor.”

This allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions while making you feel guilty or overly sensitive.

Therapists warn that this can be a subtle form of gaslighting, as it’s often used to mask abusive behavior under the guise of humor.

8) “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”

The phrase “You’re making a big deal out of nothing” is a powerful tool for gaslighters.

They use it to trivialize your feelings and experiences, making you question the validity of your reactions.

This phrase attempts to make you believe that your concerns are invalid or exaggerated, leading to self-doubt and confusion.

Therapists emphasize the importance of understanding that your feelings and experiences are valid and should be treated as such.

If someone consistently tells you that you’re making a big deal out of nothing, it could be a sign of gaslighting.

Remember, your feelings matter, and no one has the right to belittle or dismiss them.

Final thought: It’s about reclaiming your truth

Recognizing gaslighting tactics is the first step to reclaiming your truth.

Therapists stress the importance of trusting your perceptions.

If you often feel dismissed or doubting your own reality, it may be a sign of gaslighting.

Your feelings are valid, and no one should belittle them.

The American Psychological Association defines gaslighting as an insidious form of manipulation and control, which can be hard to recognize, but recognizing it is the first step towards healing.

On your path to self-realization, trust your feelings, experiences, and memories—they are valid and yours alone.

In the end, stand strong in your truth, no matter who tries to distort it.