Too often, we think of empathy as the ability to offer sound advice or give the perfect solution.

But while those things do require empathy, it’s really more about showing up when you’re needed, showing that you care, and expressing understanding.

That’s what sets emotionally intelligent people apart from the rest of us.

They understand empathy more than most, which is how they’re able to find the right words to say to someone who is struggling.

So if you want to be a more empathic person, this article is for you!

In this piece, we’ll explore the phrases emotionally intelligent people often use to express their empathy.

So let’s get started, shall we?

1) “I understand.”

Sometimes, when someone expresses their woes to us, there’s nothing more powerful than simply saying,

“I understand.”

And if you’re an emotionally intelligent person, you probably know this perfectly well. You know that most of the time, you don’t need to give the perfect solution or advice.

All you really need to do is show that you’re present and that you understand what the other person is going through.

And even if it’s just a short, simple statement, you know it carries a profound impact.

I mean, if you think about it, when someone shares their troubles or fears with you, they aren’t necessarily looking for a problem solver.

More often than not, they just want someone who can understand their feelings without judgement.

2) “How are you really feeling?”

Sometimes, we can’t help but lie when we’re asked about how we feel.

And it’s perfectly understandable, because often, it’s easier to say, “I’m fine,” than to explain how you truly feel.

But as an emotionally intelligent person, you know better than the facade someone shows when they say, “I’m fine.”

That’s why you ask,

“How are you really feeling?”

By asking this, you show that you don’t only care about the person’s feelings—you’re also inviting them to share more deeply about how they feel.

More so, when you ask this question, you’re providing a safe space for others to express their emotions.

In turn, it can lead to deeper connections that can help the person you’re talking to to feel seen and understood.

But remember, this question is only truly empathic when asked with genuine interest and care.

The goal is not to pry or push, but to offer a listening ear. 

3) “I’m here for you.”

One of the most comforting phrases you can hear when you’re going through a difficult time is,

“I’m here for you.”

And you know this because you’ve been there, too.

That’s why when someone’s struggling, you never hesitate to tell them that you’re here for them. 

Because when you let the other person know that they’re not alone, it assures them that you’re willing to stand by their side, listen to their feelings, and give them the help that they need.

4) “I can only imagine what you’re going through.”

Sometimes, there are struggles our loved ones go through that are so horrible that we can only sit and listen when they talk about them.

That’s when it’s useful to say,

“I can only imagine what you’re going through.”

It’s a way of saying, “I may not completely understand, but I will try, and I’m here for you.”

By saying this, you’re able to validate their feelings without pretending to understand them fully.

It communicates a deep level of respect for their experience and their right to feel the way they do.

5) “You are not alone.”

There’s a profound comfort in knowing that we’re not alone, especially during challenging times.

That’s why it’s important to reassure others by saying,

“You are not alone.”

Because when someone we love is going through a tough time, this phrase serves as their lifeline—a hand we extend in solidarity with their struggles.

It’s a gentle reminder that although they feel isolated in their struggle, they are not. Whether it’s you or a wider community, someone’s always got their back.

Don’t get me wrong, telling someone they aren’t alone doesn’t minimize their pain or dismiss their feelings.

Instead, it offers a sense of community, showing them that what they’re going through is a road you’re also taking.

It can help to lighten the burden, even if just slightly.

6) “It’s okay to feel this way.”

In times of emotional distress, it’s not uncommon for us to feel guilty or confused about our feelings.

As someone who has grappled with these feelings myself, I’ve found immense relief in hearing the words,

“It’s okay to feel this way.”

This helps relieve the stress of feeling wrong or abnormal for feeling the way you do.

It assures you that your feelings are valid and natural and that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to feel in any given situation.

7) “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Perhaps the most sacred phrase emotionally intelligent people use to express empathy is:

“Thank you for sharing that with me.”

It’s so simple, but it can make someone feel truly valued and heard.

It lets them know that you appreciate their trust in you and that you respect their bravery in revealing something so personal.

After all, it takes a lot of courage to be so vulnerable—that’s how you know it’s worthy of respect.

Final thoughts

The phrases we discussed above are more than just words. They’re bridges, connecting us to one another on a deeper, emotional level.

More importantly, they foster understanding, nurturing bonds that are rooted in our shared experiences.

Remember, the essence of expressing empathy is not about fixing problems or offering solutions. It’s about showing up, being present, and offering a listening ear.

And as an emotionally intelligent person, you understand this.

You know that sometimes, all a person needs is to feel heard, understood, and validated.

And that’s the transformative power of empathy.

So when you’re talking to someone who’s going through a tough time, remember these phrases and use them wisely and sincerely.

You might be surprised at how much of a difference they can make—not just to the person you’re talking to but also to your own understanding of who they are as a person.