Emotional maturity is reflected in how people communicate, especially during challenges or conflicts.

Emotionally childish adults, however, tend to rely on specific phrases that deflect responsibility, manipulate, or reveal their inability to handle emotions constructively.

These expressions may seem harmless but often signal deeper patterns of immaturity.

According to psychologists, myself included, here are seven phrases emotionally childish adults love to use—and what they reveal about their emotional development:

1) “I’m bored…”

Emotional maturity involves knowing how to entertain oneself.

In my practice as a psychologist, the phrase “I’m bored…” comes up quite frequently when dealing with emotionally childish adults.

Boredom is a state of mind that mature adults can manage, often finding productive ways to use their time.

Emotionally childish adults, on the other hand, struggle with this concept.

People like them rely heavily on external stimuli for their entertainment and when that’s lacking, they resort to saying “I’m bored…”

This phrase is often a cry for attention or an attempt to shift the responsibility of their entertainment onto someone else.

2) “It’s not fair!”

One phrase that immediately stands out in emotionally childish adults is “It’s not fair!”

Let me share a personal experience: I was in a group setting when a colleague of mine was picked for a project I was interested in—my immediate response was, “It’s not fair! I am as qualified as they are.”

Reflecting on this, I realized this phrase is common among emotionally immature individuals.

Life isn’t always fair and mature adults understand this.

They know how to handle disappointments and move forward, instead of dwelling on the unfairness of the situation.

3) “But why?”

The curiosity behind asking “why” isn’t the issue here.

In fact, curiosity fuels learning and is a key trait of successful people.

The problem arises when it’s used as a way to avoid responsibility or challenge authority unnecessarily.

An incessant need for justification can hinder personal growth and strain relationships.

4) “That’s not my fault!”

Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a major sign of emotional maturity.

However, those who frequently use the phrase “That’s not my fault!” tend to resort to blaming others or circumstances instead of acknowledging their own mistakes.

This behavior can hinder personal growth and the development of strong, healthy relationships.

It’s important to recognize our own role in the situations we find ourselves in, both good and bad.

In fact, acknowledging our mistakes and learning from them is one of the most effective ways to grow emotionally.

5) “You always…”

I remember a time when I was having a disagreement with a friend: In the heat of the moment, I found myself saying, “You always ignore my feelings!”

Upon reflection, I realized that this was an emotionally immature response.

Using absolute terms like ‘always’ or ‘never’ can escalate conflicts and make the other person defensive; it’s not a constructive way to express feelings or concerns.

A more emotionally mature approach would be to express how specific actions make one feel, without resorting to blanket statements—promoting understanding and leading to better resolution of conflicts.

6) “I don’t care.”

While it’s important to not overly invest ourselves emotionally in every situation, using “I don’t care” as a shield against dealing with emotions or conflicts is not healthy.

It’s a form of emotional withdrawal and can hinder the development of meaningful relationships.

Emotionally mature adults understand that caring is not a weakness; they know when to express their emotions and when to set boundaries.

7) “I can’t help it!”

Perhaps the most telling phrase emotionally childish adults use is “I can’t help it.”

This phrase is often used as an excuse to avoid change or to justify immature behavior—a way of giving up control of one’s actions and emotions.

In reality, we have more control over our behaviors and reactions than we often admit.

Emotional maturity involves recognizing this and making conscious efforts to manage our emotions and reactions in a healthier way.

Final thoughts: Emotional growth is a journey

The subtleties of emotional maturity are deeply intertwined with our self-awareness and willingness to grow.

Recognizing emotionally childish phrases in our speech is only the first step towards achieving emotional maturity.

The real work begins when we start to consciously change our language, and in turn, our mindset.

While it’s not an overnight process, it’s important to remember that change is possible.

The human brain is incredibly adaptable, a phenomenon known as ‘neuroplasticity.’

This means that with consistent effort, we can alter our thinking patterns and behaviors.

Even if you’ve found yourself using these phrases, don’t despair as it’s never too late to start on the path to emotional maturity.

When you’re tempted to utter one of these phrases, pause and reflect: What can you say instead that will better reflect your growth?

Our words are a reflection of our thoughts, and our thoughts shape our reality—choose them wisely!