There’s a fine line between constructive criticism and emotional bullying.

This line is often crossed when someone starts using words as weapons to belittle and demean you, often subtly.

An emotional bully won’t always outright insult you. Instead, they use certain phrases to chip away at your self-esteem, making you feel small and insignificant.

I’ve spotlighted 9 phrases an emotional bully might use to minimize you. By recognizing these phrases, you can begin to reclaim your worth and stand up against emotional manipulation.

Let’s dive in.

1) “You’re too sensitive.”

One of the favorite weapons in an emotional bully’s arsenal is the phrase “You’re too sensitive.”

This phrase serves a double purpose. Firstly, it invalidates your emotions, making you feel like your reactions are disproportionate and unjustified.

Secondly, it shifts the blame from the bully to you. Instead of addressing their hurtful behavior, they make it seem like the problem lies with your sensitivity.

Everyone has a right to their feelings. If someone’s words or actions hurt you, it’s valid to feel upset. It’s not about being ‘too sensitive’, it’s about being human.

Recognizing this phrase for what it is – blatant gaslighting – is the first step towards reclaiming your emotional space and standing up against the bully.

2) “I was just joking.”

Another phrase that an emotional bully often uses is “I was just joking.”

I can still remember a time when someone I thought was a friend used this phrase on me.

We were in a group setting when he made a cruel comment about my appearance. I felt hurt and humiliated, and when I confronted him about it, he brushed it off saying, “I was just joking.”

The thing is, jokes are supposed to be funny, not hurtful. But emotional bullies use this phrase as a trap – if you react, you’re accused of not having a sense of humor or being too sensitive.

It’s a way for the bully to avoid taking responsibility for their words. Don’t let anyone hide their bullying behind the guise of humor.

3) “No one else thinks that.”

“Nobody else thinks that,” is a phrase bullies often use to make you feel isolated and alone in your thoughts.

By creating a perceived consensus against you, they seek to undermine your confidence in your own opinions and beliefs.

Psychological studies have shown that we humans are social creatures and we often conform to the majority opinion, even when we personally believe otherwise – a phenomenon known as the ‘Asch Conformity Experiment’. Bullies exploit this human tendency to make you second-guess yourself.

It’s okay to have a unique perspective. In fact, diversity of thought is what drives innovation and progress.

4) “You always overreact.”

The phrase “You always overreact” is another common tool in an emotional bully’s toolkit. This is a form of gaslighting, where the bully tries to make you question your own reactions and feelings.

By labeling your reactions as ‘overreactions’, they seek to dismiss your emotions and make you feel irrational. This can lead to self-doubt and make you more susceptible to their bullying.

Ultimately, your feelings are valid. Everyone has different emotional thresholds, and what may seem like an ‘overreaction’ to one person may be a completely reasonable response for another.

5) “You just don’t get it.”

Have you ever heard someone say, “You just don’t get it?”

This is another phrase that emotional bullies use to belittle and demean their targets.

When a bully uses this phrase, they’re suggesting that you’re not smart or aware enough to understand the situation. It’s a way of invalidating your perspective and keeping you in a submissive position.

Just because someone doesn’t agree with your viewpoint doesn’t mean they “don’t get it.” It’s perfectly possible to understand something and still have a different opinion.

Next time you hear this phrase, remind yourself that it’s not a reflection of your understanding, but rather the bully’s attempt to control the narrative.

6) “It’s all in your head.”

“It’s all in your head” is a phrase that can be particularly damaging.

An emotional bully uses it to dismiss your feelings, to deny your reality, and to make you question your own experiences.

When someone tells you it’s all in your head, they’re saying that your feelings aren’t grounded in reality. This is not only dismissive but also incredibly isolating. It can make you feel as though you’re alone in your pain, and that no one understands or believes you.

But I want you to know this: Your feelings are real. Your experiences are valid.

And you’re not alone. Many of us have been where you are and have felt what you’re feeling.

Always trust your instincts and never let anyone tell you that it’s all in your head.

7) “That’s just how I am.”

“That’s just how I am” is a phrase I’ve heard more times than I can count. It’s a way for the emotional bully to justify their hurtful behavior without taking responsibility for the impact it has on others.

I remember a time when someone close to me would constantly belittle my dreams and ambitions, leaving me feeling disheartened. When confronted, they would respond with, “That’s just how I am.”

But here’s the thing, a person’s nature shouldn’t be an excuse for causing harm to others.

Change is possible. Growth is possible.

And most importantly, respect and kindness should be non-negotiable, regardless of who you’re dealing with.

8) “You’re just being dramatic.”

“You’re just being dramatic” is another phrase that emotional bullies often use. It’s a way for them to dismiss your feelings and paint you as an attention-seeker.

When someone uses this phrase, they’re essentially saying that your emotions are not genuine, but merely an act put on for effect. This can make you doubt the validity of your feelings and make you hesitant to express them in the future.

Expressing your feelings is not being dramatic. It’s being human. 

Your emotions are valid, and you have every right to express them without being labeled as ‘dramatic’.

9) “I’m only telling you for your own good.”

“I’m only telling you for your own good” is one of the most manipulative phrases an emotional bully can use.

They present their hurtful words as a form of ‘tough love’, making it seem like they’re doing you a favor by being harsh and critical.

But here’s the thing: Genuine advice and constructive criticism should empower you, not tear you down. It should make you feel supported and understood, not small and worthless.

If someone’s words are causing you pain, that’s not for your good. That’s not love. That’s emotional bullying.

Final thoughts

The power of emotional bullying often lies in the shadows of subtlety and manipulation. The phrases we’ve discussed may seem harmless on the surface, but when used repeatedly, they can have a profound impact on one’s self-esteem and mental health.

It’s important to remember that these phrases say more about the bully than they do about you. They reflect their insecurities, their struggles, and their inability to communicate effectively.

Several Psychological Associations state that emotional bullying can have long-lasting effects comparable to those of physical bullying. But it also states that recognizing these behaviors is the first step to combating them.

Know that you are not alone in this fight. You are not the words they use to belittle you. You are not the doubts they try to plant in your mind. You are more than their words.

It’s okay to stand up for yourself, to seek help, and to walk away if need be.

After all, your worth is not determined by how someone else treats you, but by how you treat yourself.