If you’ve been involved with a narcissist, you are likely familiar with the rollercoaster of emotions and manipulation that can come with it.

A narcissist has a knack for making you feel special, only to leave you second-guessing yourself and your worth. 

They can skillfully use certain phrases that seem innocuous, even flattering but are actually designed to keep you hooked.

Narcissism, like Borderline Personality Disorder, is a recognized mental health condition and not a lifestyle choice. Even so, being in a relationship with a narcissist presents unique challenges.

Navigating these challenges starts with recognizing the phrases they commonly use. Here we’ll explore 8 phrases a narcissist will use to string you along and make you feel special. 

By understanding these phrases, you can empower yourself in these relationships.

1) “No one understands me like you do”

A classic phrase narcissists use to make you feel special is, “No one understands me like you do.” 

On the surface, it seems like a compliment – a testament to your empathy and understanding. But this phrase is actually a manipulative tool.

The purpose behind this statement is to make you feel exclusive, chosen, and even privileged to be the one person who ‘gets’ them. 

It adds an element of mystique to their persona and makes you feel like you’re in a unique position in their life.

However, this is often just a ploy to keep you close and emotionally invested. It’s a way for them to maintain control of the relationship, ensuring that you continue prioritizing their needs over your own.

You might find yourself going out of your way to prove your understanding, often at the expense of your own well-being. 

This feeds into the narcissist’s need for validation and attention, while simultaneously keeping you entangled in their web of manipulation.

2) “I’ve never met anyone like you before”

When a narcissist says, “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” it might sound like the ultimate praise. 

It seems to elevate you above everyone else in their life, making you feel special and treasured.

But here’s the twist – this phrase is often used to create an illusion of uniqueness around you. 

In reality, it’s a line narcissists frequently use to make their targets feel special and valued.

This phrase can be incredibly captivating, especially if you’re deeply invested in the relationship. 

You might start to place them on a pedestal, believing that your connection is truly unique.

However, this can lead you down a path where your actions and decisions are driven by a desire to uphold this ‘unique’ status in their eyes, effectively keeping you tied to the narcissist.

3) “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else”

The same goes for this phrase. Just like the one above, it can make you feel like you’re the most important person in their world. 

I remember experiencing this in a past relationship. My partner would often use this phrase, and it made me feel incredibly loved and valued.

However, over time I realized that this phrase was not an expression of genuine love, but rather a tool used to manipulate my feelings and keep me invested in the relationship. 

It created an illusion of exceptional love and connection, one that was difficult to walk away from.

This phrase can make you feel like you’re the exception, the one person who has touched their heart in a way no one else has. 

But don’t be fooled – it’s just a narcissist’s way of controlling and manipulating their partners. 

Be mindful of your emotional well-being and remember that real love is about respect, trust, and mutual care, not just grand declarations.

4) “You’re the only one who can help me”

A narcissist often uses the phrase, “You’re the only one who can help me.” This statement is designed to make you feel valuable and needed. 

It plays on our innate human desire to help others in distress, making you feel indispensable in their life.

The science behind this is known as the helper’s high – a sense of euphoria and increased energy that we experience when we help others. Narcissists are aware of this psychological phenomenon and use it to their advantage.

By using this phrase, the narcissist creates a dynamic where you’re constantly striving to be their savior, often at the cost of your own needs and boundaries. 

It reinforces a cycle where their well-being becomes your responsibility, keeping you invested and attached to them.

5) “You make me want to be a better person”

When a narcissist says, “You make me want to be a better person,” it can feel genuinely heartwarming. 

It’s easy to feel touched by this sentiment…who doesn’t want to be the reason someone decides to do better in life, right? 

However, remember that you are not responsible for another person’s growth or change. That is a journey they must undertake themselves. 

While it’s natural to want to support the ones you love, it’s important to understand that change cannot be forced or expected.

This phrase is often used by narcissists to keep you hopeful and committed, believing in their potential for change. 

But it’s crucial to remember that real change comes from within and is not dependent on anyone else. You are allowed to prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries that protect your emotional health.

6) “We’re just so alike, aren’t we?”

“We’re just so alike, aren’t we?” is a phrase often used by narcissists to foster a sense of connection and compatibility. All the better to draw you in. 

Because the truth is, it’s easy to feel drawn to someone who seems to share our values, interests, or experiences.

This phrase can make us feel seen and understood. It’s comforting to think that someone else ‘gets’ us on a deeper level. 

It’s like finding your tribe or your partner in crime.

Sadly, narcissists often use this phrase as a mirroring technique to create a false sense of familiarity and closeness. 

You might find yourself dismissing red flags or compromising on your needs because you believe you’ve found your perfect match. 

Real talk – genuine connection is based on mutual respect and understanding, not just shared similarities.

7) “You’re too sensitive”

When a narcissist tells you, “You’re too sensitive,” it’s often a response to you expressing hurt or discomfort over something they’ve done or said. 

What this aims to do is get you to believe that perhaps you’re overreacting or being unreasonable. It’s an attempt to shift the blame onto you, making you question your own emotions and reactions.

Why do they do it? 

Because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions. 

But here’s the truth. Your feelings are valid. If something hurts you, it hurts you. Period. 

Don’t let anyone make you feel like your feelings are not valid or that you’re ‘too much.’ You have a right to express your feelings and set boundaries in your relationships. You deserve to be heard and respected.

8) “I can’t live without you”

Perhaps one of the most intense phrases a narcissist might use is, “I can’t live without you.” It can feel overwhelmingly romantic, making you feel like the center of their universe.

While it can be flattering to feel needed in such an extreme way, this phrase often serves as a tool for emotional manipulation. 

It can make you feel trapped and guilty, preventing you from leaving a relationship that might not be serving you.

Look, you are not responsible for someone else’s happiness or emotional stability. It’s not healthy for anyone to be so reliant on another person that they cannot envision their life without them.

A healthy relationship involves two independent individuals who choose to be together, not out of desperation or fear, but because of mutual respect, love, and shared values.

Conclusion

Recognizing these phrases is just the first step towards understanding the complex dynamics within a relationship with a narcissist. 

However, the power to recognize these signs and take action lies within you. 

Respect for your feelings and boundaries is never too much to ask for in a relationship.

Being truly aware means not letting anyone dictate your worth or play with your emotions. It’s about understanding your value and not settling for less.

Here’s to fostering healthier relationships, standing up for oneself, and most importantly, remembering that you deserve kindness, respect, and genuine love.