Emotional intelligence – that elusive blend of understanding and managing our feelings, empathizing with others, and navigating social situations.

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, I’ve seen first-hand how high emotional intelligence can transform interactions and relationships.

People with unusually high emotional intelligence often exhibit certain behaviors that set them apart. These unique traits can be a real game-changer, whether in personal relationships or professional scenarios.

In this article, I’ll delve into these 9 behaviors that are usually displayed by individuals with exceptional emotional intelligence. 

1) Keen observers

People with high emotional intelligence have this amazing ability to pick up on the subtlest of cues in their environment. It’s as if they have a sixth sense that helps them understand how people around them are feeling.

This ability comes from being present in the moment – a concept that ties in closely with mindfulness.

By being fully engaged in what’s happening right now, individuals with high emotional intelligence can easily pick up on the moods and emotions of those around them.

You’ll often find these individuals recognizing that a colleague is stressed, or a friend is upset even before they’ve said anything. This is because they are keen observers, always tuned into the feelings and emotions of others.

2) Master communicators

Communication is key. But those with high emotional intelligence take this to a new level. They are master communicators.

Whether it’s expressing their own feelings effectively or understanding the emotions behind another person’s words, they excel in all aspects of communication.

For them, conversation isn’t just about exchanging words; it’s about understanding and empathizing with the feelings and emotions behind those words.

People with high emotional intelligence offer this gift in every interaction.

They are present, understanding, and empathetic, making every conversation meaningful and every interaction worthwhile.

3) Practice self-compassion

When I write on Hack Spirit, I often discussed the importance of self-compassion. People with high emotional intelligence practice this regularly.

They understand that everyone makes mistakes, and they are no exception. When they stumble, they don’t punish themselves with harsh self-criticism.

Instead, they treat themselves with kindness and understanding, learning from their mistakes rather than berating themselves for it.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve into the teachings of Buddhism that can help us live a more compassionate and fulfilling life. One of the key lessons is the practice of self-compassion.

If you want to check out my book, you can find it on Amazon here. 

Individuals with high emotional intelligence embody this principle. They are kind to themselves, nurturing their own emotional wellbeing with as much care as they would others’. 

4) Embrace impermanence

In the ever-changing world we live in, nothing is permanent. This is a core principle in Buddhism and one that people with high emotional intelligence understand deeply.

They know that feelings, good or bad, are transient. Instead of clinging to happiness or running from sadness, they acknowledge these emotions for what they are – temporary and ever-changing.

This doesn’t mean they’re emotionally detached. Quite the contrary, they’re fully present in their emotions, feeling them completely.

But they don’t let these feelings define them or dictate their reactions.

Their understanding of the impermanence of emotions allows them to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. They aren’t swayed by fleeting feelings of success or failure, joy or sorrow. Instead, they remain steady, understanding that like everything else in life, this too shall pass.

This acceptance of impermanence makes them emotionally intelligent and wise beyond their years.

5) Live in the present

Being mindful is all about living in the present moment, and those with high emotional intelligence have mastered this art.

They don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future – they live right here, right now. This doesn’t mean they ignore their past experiences or future plans. Instead, they use them as a reference but don’t let them dictate their present.

By being truly present, they are able to experience life more fully. They engage deeply in conversations, enjoy simple pleasures, and fully feel their emotions without judgement.

This mindfulness allows them to connect more authentically with themselves and others around them.

In a world where distractions are everywhere, their ability to remain present is both remarkable and inspiring. It’s a testament to their emotional intelligence and a reminder of the power of mindfulness in our everyday lives.

6) Embrace vulnerability

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but those with high emotional intelligence recognize it for what it truly is – a strength.

They are not afraid to express their feelings, even when it makes them feel exposed. They understand that it’s okay to be scared, to be hurt, and to not have all the answers.

This acceptance of vulnerability allows them to connect deeply with others, fostering genuine relationships based on trust and empathy.

In the teachings of Buddhism and mindfulness, vulnerability is seen as an integral part of being human. It’s about accepting our imperfections and embracing the uncertainty of life.

Individuals with high emotional intelligence live this wisdom. 

7) Practice empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, a quality that is deeply ingrained in people with high emotional intelligence.

They don’t just sympathize with others, they feel with them. They can put themselves in other people’s shoes, feeling their joys, their pains, their fears, and their hopes as if they were their own.

People with high emotional intelligence understand this. Their empathetic nature allows them to forge deep connections with others, making them feel seen, heard, and understood.

This level of understanding and shared emotion is a testament to their emotional intelligence.

8) They don’t avoid negative emotions

This point might seem counterintuitive, but it’s true. People with high emotional intelligence don’t shy away from negative emotions.

In our society, we’re often told to suppress negative feelings and to always strive for positivity. However, mindfulness teaches us to acknowledge all emotions – positive and negative – without judgment.

Those with high emotional intelligence understand this. They don’t see negative emotions as something to be feared or avoided. Instead, they see them as an integral part of the human experience.

They allow themselves to feel sadness, anger, or fear without trying to immediately change these feelings. They sit with these emotions, understand them, and then let them pass naturally.

This ability to face negative emotions head-on without being overwhelmed by them is a powerful demonstration of emotional intelligence and mindfulness in action. 

Final thoughts

Emotional intelligence is more than just understanding emotions. It’s about embracing vulnerabilities, practicing empathy, living in the present, and understanding the transient nature of feelings.

These behaviors, found in those with high emotional intelligence, can greatly enhance our personal and professional lives.

If you’re intrigued by these behaviors and want to delve deeper into the concepts of mindfulness and emotional intelligence, I’d recommend checking out my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”.

It explores Buddhist teachings that can help us live a more compassionate and fulfilling life.

Remember, emotional intelligence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s a skill that can be developed and honed over time.