When I think about all the kinds of people I would like to be stuck with in a broken down elevator, I have a pretty clear idea of what I’d want.

Ideally, I’d be locked in there with interesting, curious, fun-loving people who are able to keep cool in stressful situations. 

Adding to that, I’d prefer to be stuck with people who are empathetic, kind, and are in-tune with themselves and others.

In other words, people who possess a high-level of social intelligence.

Of course, I don’t naturally go around imagining my life in such extreme terms, i.e. being trapped in a malfunctioning elevator! I promise you.

This is just the exact kind of amplified social situation that comes to mind when I think about when it might be important to be surrounded by people who are socially intelligent. 

Let’s dive into this, shall we?

There are a number of behaviors people with low social intelligence will show without realizing it, starting with not being able to decode the emotions of those around them.

1) Failing to read the emotions of others

When it comes to social interactions, some folks find themselves stumbling over themselves when it comes to picking up on people’s emotions.

While the skilled socialite is able to make sense of smiles, frowns, and everything in between, those who aren’t as versed in the art of human emotion can be likened to an explorer without a map.

Their intentions might be good, but they might often find themselves inadvertently misreading people, which can sometimes lead to hurt feelings and judgment.

But there lies a glimmer of hope. Those who have low social intelligence can occasionally possess the quality of authenticity.

By this I mean that because they are not fully aware of the complexities of social dynamics, they are able to navigate interactions and relationships with an unfiltered kind of sincerity.

Hey, not everyone’s perfect!

2) Avoiding eye contact

People with low levels of social intelligence might struggle to maintain your gaze in conversation.

This tendency can be attributed to a variety of factors, including discomfort in social situations, insecurity, or a lack of confidence in their ability to navigate interpersonal interactions.

For some, avoiding eye contact serves as a coping mechanism to shield themselves from what they believe to be the judgment or scrutiny of others. 

It might also be an attempt to manage anxiety or a fear of judgment, as making direct eye contact can make them feel vulnerable or exposed.

Additionally, people with lower social intelligence might struggle to interpret social cues accurately, leading to difficulties in maintaining appropriate levels of eye contact during conversations.

This could be due to a limited understanding of nonverbal communication or challenges in recognizing the subtle signals that shape all of our social interactions.

3) Excessive bragging or self-promotion

Those with low social intelligence might often demonstrate signs of excessive bragging and self-promotion.

For starters, these individuals might be desperately trying to fit in socially. In doing so, they end up cranking up the volume on their achievements. 

It’s their way of saying, “Hey, here I am, notice me!”

In the end, the excessive self-promoter is not to be viewed as a villain, or as a person who is so entrenched in the perception of their own success.

Rather, they are someone who is very human, and might be desperate to fit in. You’ve probably been there yourself.

4) Speaking way too loudly

Individuals with lower levels of social intelligence may speak far too loudly for a number of different reasons.

One key factor could be a lack of awareness or a grasp of social norms. 

These individuals may struggle to gauge appropriate volume levels in different social settings and might accidentally disrupt the expected conversational dynamics.

Additionally, speaking loudly might be their way of making up for feeling insecure or their way of seeking the attention they aren’t getting in other parts of life. 

This deep need to be noticed or heard may override their ability to control their voice appropriately.

In some situations, individuals with low social intelligence may not accurately perceive social cues or feedback, making it challenging for them to adjust their behavior. 

This can result in persistent loud speaking, as they may not recognize the impact it has on those around them.

5) Clearly disregarding people’s personal boundaries and limits

Let’s face it, navigating social situations can be hard.

So it’s super common for those with low social intelligence to find themselves flying in the face of not one, but many social norms. 

One of these norms can be respecting people’s personal boundaries.

People with low social intelligence may engage in behaviors that blatantly disregard people’s boundaries and limits, which can stem from difficulties in recognizing non-verbal signals, such as facial expressions or body language, which play a subtle yet crucial role in our person-to-person communication.

In simpler terms, someone with low social intelligence might not pick up on the small signs that indicate when they are encroaching on someone’s personal space or making them super uncomfortable.

This lack of awareness can lead to unintentional boundary violations that others would consider common knowledge.

The actions of disregarding personal boundaries may not be malicious or deliberate but rather a direct consequence of having limited social awareness.

6) Making insensitive, inappropriate, or even harmful jokes at the expense of others

Individuals who don’t have a high level of social intelligence may often make insensitive, inappropriate, or harmful jokes.

And this can be off putting.

This distasteful behavior can stem from an inability to accurately gauge the impact of their words on those around them and comprehend the potential harm or discomfort their jokes may cause.

In some cases, individuals lacking social intelligence might use humor as a coping mechanism to fit in or gain social approval without realizing any of the potentially negative consequences. 

Their comments may be a misguided attempt to connect with others, albeit at the expense of sensitivity.

This behavior highlights the importance of building social awareness and providing sensitive education on the impact of words and actions to enhance interpersonal skills and promote a kinder, more inclusive social environment.

7) Interrupting, monopolizing or taking over conversations without giving others the opportunity to speak

Just picture a party where people are chatting away happily and animatedly. Some folks, with lower levels of social smarts, might accidentally end up dominating the conversations.

This isn’t always because they want to hog the spotlight—though it sure might seem like it!—it might be because they’re so excited and eager to share their stories and thoughts and join in the fun.

These particularly talkative people might just hope to connect, even if they mess up the timing and delivery.

So, there’s no need to always view this trait as a negative—they’re not trying to be the boss of the chat, they just haven’t quite mastered the back-and-forth yet. But they can learn.

Instead of judging, let’s try to appreciate each person’s way of adding to the conversation. 

With a bit of gentle guidance, these people can learn to join in more smoothly and gracefully, making the social scene a bit nicer for everyone. 

After all, we should all get our chance to shine!

8) Divulging too much personal information, or oversharing

Someone with a fairly low level of social intelligence might have a pattern of revealing an excess of personal information without gauging appropriate boundaries.

In other words, they are chronic oversharers.

This oft-undesirable behavior stems from a lack of understanding the subtle art of discretion. 

As most of us know, relationships involve us sharing bits of ourselves gradually as we progress in building trust and rapport.

Those with lower social intelligence might miss these critical steps. 

Oversharers might not fully grasp the intricacies of what constitutes socially acceptable conversation, opting to disclose personal details with little regard for the context or their audience.

This tendency can be attributed to a genuine desire for connection.

But in this quest, they might inadvertently turn a casual, everyday chat into an unintentional confessional. 

This oversharing, while potentially well-intentioned, can lead to discomfort or even strained relationships, as others struggle to process the overload of TMI.

Final thoughts

So, what have we learned thus far? 

Having high social intelligence can be akin to having a superpower for getting along with people. 

It’s like having a special ability to understand how others feel and what they mean, without them even needing to say it out loud.

It’s not just about noticing facial expressions or body language, but also understanding the little things in how people talk and act.

It can help us to avoid problems and know when to step up or take a step back. 

So, whether you’re at a party, working with others, or like I mentioned earlier, trapped in an elevator, having high social intelligence is like having a guide to help you through, making your interactions with people more pleasant, enjoyable, and meaningful.