We all grapple with self-esteem; some more than others.

Self-esteem can be a tricky business. It’s not always easy to recognize, especially when it’s yourself you’re assessing.

Those with low self-esteem often behave in certain ways, and interestingly, they might not even realize it.

These behaviors are not just subtle hints but clear indicators of a person wrestling with their self-worth.

This piece will explore the 10 behaviors people with low self-esteem often display, unbeknownst to them.

Let’s get started.

1) Over-apologizing

People wrestling with low self-esteem often have a hard time recognizing their worth.

This lack of self-worth frequently translates into an excessive need to apologize. They say sorry for things that don’t necessarily warrant an apology.

Their fear of displeasing others and their perceived need to maintain harmony can lead to this over-apologizing.

Think about it. It’s as though they’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of making even the slightest mistake, and eager to make amends even when it’s not required.

If you spot someone frequently saying sorry, even for the smallest of things, they might be dealing with low self-esteem.

It’s a silent cry for acceptance and affirmation, a way to avoid confrontation or criticism – but most people with low self-esteem don’t recognize this behavior in themselves.

2) Struggling to accept compliments

Have you ever given a compliment to someone only for them to dismiss it or downplay their achievements? I have, and it took me a while to understand what was happening.

One of my closest friends, let’s call her Sarah, was always uncomfortable when complimented. I remember one time, when we were in college, she aced an incredibly tough exam. When I congratulated her, instead of accepting the compliment, she brushed it off, saying she just got lucky.

Over time, I realized Sarah’s behavior was more than just modesty. It was her low self-esteem speaking. She genuinely struggled to believe she could be worthy of praise or do something praiseworthy.

If you notice someone having a hard time accepting compliments, downplaying their achievements or attributing their success to luck or external factors, they might be wrestling with low self-esteem – even if they don’t realize it themselves.

3) Perfectionism

People with low self-esteem often set unrealistically high standards for themselves. They tend to be perfectionists, constantly striving for flawlessness in every task they undertake.

This is not just a trait, but a coping mechanism. Their internal narrative tells them that if they can just achieve perfection, then they’ll finally be worthy of acceptance and respect.

The American Psychological Association has noted that perfectionism can lead to stress, burnout, and even mental health issues. It’s a vicious cycle – the more they strive for perfection to boost their esteem, the more they set themselves up for failure and self-criticism.

If you notice someone obsessing over minor details, or never quite satisfied with their work, they might be struggling with low self-esteem. They might not even realize that their drive for perfection is actually a symptom of a deeper issue.

4) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can convey confidence, sincerity, and interest. Yet, for those with low self-esteem, maintaining eye contact can be incredibly challenging.

It’s not about shyness or introversion. It’s about the discomfort they feel when attention is directed towards them. They might feel unworthy of someone else’s focus or fear that their flaws will be exposed.

This subtle behavior often goes unnoticed by the person themselves, but it can be a telltale sign for those who learn to recognize it.

5) Negative self-talk

The language we use to talk about ourselves is a powerful indicator of our self-esteem. For those with low self-esteem, this often manifests as negative self-talk.

They might constantly put themselves down, make negative statements about their abilities, or use language that suggests they expect to fail. It’s as though they have an internal critic that never switches off.

This constant stream of self-deprecating comments can be harmful to their mental well-being over time. But the thing is, they might not even realize they’re doing it.

If you notice someone frequently using negative language about themselves, they could be struggling with low self-esteem. It’s a behavior that often goes unnoticed, but once you start paying attention, it’s hard to miss.

6) Difficulty in expressing needs

Expressing one’s needs is a fundamental part of human communication. However, people with low self-esteem often find this incredibly hard.

They might avoid asking for what they need out of fear of rejection or judgment. They may feel unworthy of their desires or worry that their needs will be perceived as burdensome to others.

I’ve seen this behavior in people I care about, and it’s heartbreaking. They struggle silently, their needs unmet, because they can’t bring themselves to express them.

If you notice someone who seldom voices their needs or preferences, they could be dealing with low self-esteem. It’s not something they may realize themselves, but it’s a clear sign for those who understand what to look for.

7) Fear of taking risks

I’ve always been an advocate for stepping out of comfort zones. But there was a time when fear held me back. I was afraid of taking risks, worried about the potential for failure and how that would reflect on me.

For people with low self-esteem, this fear is often amplified. They tend to avoid taking risks or trying new things because they’re afraid of failure. They worry that any failure will confirm their negative self-beliefs and that others will see them as they see themselves.

They might not realize this fear is rooted in their self-perception, but it’s a clear sign for those who know what to look for.

8) Frequently agreeing with others

It might seem like those who often agree with others are just easy-going or highly adaptable. But, there’s a hidden side to this behavior.

People with low self-esteem often find themselves frequently agreeing with others, even when their own opinions differ. It’s not because they lack opinions, but because they fear the potential backlash or rejection that might come with expressing them.

It’s a behavior they themselves might not recognize, but it can be a sign of their internal battle with self-worth.

9) Overworking

Hard work is commendable, but there’s a fine line between being diligent and overworking oneself. For those with low self-esteem, crossing this line can be commonplace.

They often feel the need to prove their worth through their work, leading them to take on excessive tasks and work longer hours. It’s as though they believe their value is tied to their productivity.

If you notice someone consistently overworking, always taking on more tasks than they can handle, they might be dealing with low self-esteem. This behavior often goes unnoticed by the person themselves, but it’s a clear sign for those who understand what to look for.

10) Isolating themselves

People with low self-esteem often withdraw from social situations. They might isolate themselves, believing that others won’t enjoy their company or that they’ll only bring people down.

This self-imposed isolation is one of the most poignant signs of low self-esteem. It’s a defense mechanism, aimed at avoiding potential rejection or criticism.

If you see someone frequently opting out of social interactions or spending a lot of time alone, they might be struggling with low self-esteem. They might not realize this behavior is a reflection of their self-worth, but it’s one of the most important signs to look out for.