Emotional intelligence is far more than just being able to read people’s emotions or respond appropriately. It’s about understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as those of others.

Ironically, those with low emotional intelligence often don’t realize it. They may exhibit certain behaviors that can be detrimental, not just to themselves but to those around them.

We’re about to delve into 9 behaviors that indicate low emotional intelligence. By understanding these, we can better navigate our relationships and interactions with others.

So buckle up, because we’re about to dive into the world of emotional intelligence – or in this case, a lack thereof.

1) Difficulty in understanding others’ emotions

One of the most evident signs of low emotional intelligence is difficulty in understanding and interpreting others’ emotions.

We all know that human interactions are complex and that people often communicate without using words. The ability to read these subtle cues, such as body language or tone of voice, is a key aspect of emotional intelligence.

Those with low emotional intelligence often struggle with this. They might misinterpret signals or miss them altogether. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, as they’re not able to fully grasp the emotional state of those around them.

This inability can be quite isolating, making it difficult for the person to form deep, meaningful connections with others.

2) Poor listening skills

Another telltale sign of low EQ is poor listening skills. These individuals often focus more on their own thoughts and feelings rather than truly hearing what the other person is saying.

In conversations, they might interrupt others or fail to respond appropriately because they’re preoccupied with formulating their own responses. This can lead to miscommunications and misunderstandings because they’re not fully grasping the other person’s point of view.

Good listening skills, on the other hand, are a hallmark of high emotional intelligence. Those with high EQ take the time to listen, understand, and respond thoughtfully. They realize that communication is a two-way street and that genuine engagement with others requires active listening.

3) Inability to handle criticism

Criticism, whether constructive or not, can be hard to swallow. But for those with low emotional intelligence, it can be especially challenging.

I remember a time when I received some harsh feedback on a project I had poured my heart into. My immediate reaction was to get defensive and justify my decisions. It took me a while to realize that this reaction was more about my inability to handle criticism than the feedback itself.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle in similar ways. They may see criticism as a personal attack and react with defensiveness or anger, rather than considering the feedback and using it as a chance to learn and grow.

This inability can seriously hinder personal and professional development. So if you see someone who reacts poorly to criticism, it could be due to low emotional intelligence.

4) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Expressing emotions in a healthy, productive way is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. It allows us to communicate our feelings and needs to others effectively.

However, those with low emotional intelligence often struggle with this.

They might bottle up their emotions until they explode or become passive-aggressive. Alternatively, they might express their emotions in inappropriate ways, such as shouting when they’re angry or breaking down in tears at work.

This difficulty in expressing emotions can lead to misunderstandings and damaged relationships. It can also cause internal stress and decrease overall well-being.

5) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a critical component of emotional intelligence. It allows us to connect with people on a deeper level and respond to them in ways that show we care.

However, those with low emotional intelligence often struggle with empathy. They may find it challenging to see things from another person’s perspective or to understand why someone might feel a certain way. This lack of understanding can come across as cold or uncaring, even if that’s not the intention.

6) Difficulty in building and maintaining relationships

One of the most heart-rending aspects of low emotional intelligence is the difficulty in forming and maintaining meaningful relationships.

Imagine being unable to truly connect with those around you, constantly feeling misunderstood, or not being able to express how you truly feel. This is a daily reality for individuals with low emotional intelligence.

Their struggle to understand and manage emotions – both their own and others’ – can create a barrier between them and the people they care about. Misunderstandings and conflicts may arise more frequently, and they might find it hard to form a deep, emotional bond with others.

Relationships are built on mutual understanding, empathy, and effective communication – elements that are often lacking in those with low emotional intelligence. It’s a tough journey, and one that can feel incredibly lonely. But recognizing this behavior is the first step toward improvement.

7) Impulsive decision-making

Emotional intelligence involves not only understanding and managing our own emotions but also using that emotional information to guide our thoughts and actions.

People with low levels of emotional intelligence often exhibit impulsive decision-making. They may react to situations without thinking through the consequences or considering the feelings of others involved.

Instead of pausing to assess their emotional state and how it might be influencing their decision, they act on their immediate feelings. This impulsivity can lead to poor choices, damaged relationships, and regret later on.

Understanding this behavior can help us support those who struggle in this area, encouraging them to take a moment to think before they act.

8) Overreliance on logic

While logic and rational thinking are valuable, they aren’t the only tools we should use to navigate our lives. Emotions play a crucial role in our decision-making process, influencing our choices and actions.

I recall a time when I made a career decision based solely on logic, ignoring my feelings completely. The job ticked all the right boxes on paper – excellent pay, great benefits, and a reputable company. But something didn’t feel quite right.

Ignoring that gut feeling, I took the job anyway only to realize later that it wasn’t what I truly wanted. I was miserable despite the outwardly perfect circumstances.

That’s something individuals with low emotional intelligence often do. They tend to rely heavily on logic, discounting their feelings or intuition.

While this might seem like an effective way to make decisions, it can lead to dissatisfaction and regret when their emotional needs aren’t met.

9) Poor adaptability to change

Change is an inevitable part of life. But for those with low emotional intelligence, adapting to change can be particularly challenging.

Emotional intelligence equips us with the ability to manage our emotions and responses when faced with change or uncertainty. It allows us to stay calm, think clearly, and find solutions.

On the other hand, those with low emotional intelligence often struggle with change. They might resist it, get overly stressed, or react in unproductive ways. This inability to adapt can hinder personal growth and success in a world that is constantly evolving.

Adaptability is not just about surviving change but thriving in it. And emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in enabling this. 

A deeper look: the role of empathy

The complexities of human behavior are deeply intertwined with our emotional intelligence.

A cornerstone of this intelligence is empathy. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, a crucial link to our shared humanity.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with empathy. They find it challenging to step into someone else’s shoes, to genuinely comprehend their feelings. This gap can lead to miscommunications, conflicts, and a disconnection from others.

But it’s important to remember that emotional intelligence, including empathy, is not a fixed trait. It can be learned and improved upon.

Whether it’s endeavoring to see things from another person’s perspective, showing genuine concern for others, or managing our distress in the face of others’ suffering, the pathway to increased emotional intelligence is within reach.

It’s never too late to grow. It’s never too late to learn. And it’s never too late to become more emotionally intelligent.