There’s a fine line between arguing with passion and arguing with a lack of integrity.

Arguing with integrity means standing your ground, while still respecting the other person’s perspective. It’s about being honest with your feelings, but not allowing them to cloud your judgment or dictate your words.

People with genuine integrity know better than to let their emotions take control during an argument. They understand that certain phrases can escalate the situation and reflect poorly on their character.

In this article, we’ll discover eight things people with genuine integrity never say during an argument. Take note and strive to maintain your integrity, even in the heat of disagreement.

1) Personal attacks

In the midst of an argument, it’s all too easy to resort to personal attacks.

However, people with genuine integrity understand that these low blows are not only hurtful, but they also distract from the main issue at hand. Rather than addressing the problem, they attack the person.

Slinging insults or derogatory comments about someone’s character doesn’t help resolve the argument. It only escalates the situation and damages relationships.

People with integrity focus on the issue, not the person. They may vehemently disagree with what you’re saying, but they’ll never resort to belittling you as a person.

Remember, it’s possible to stand your ground firmly without crossing the line into personal attacks.

2) “I’m always right”

We all have our fair share of pride, don’t we? I know I do. But one thing I’ve learned over time is that admitting to being wrong doesn’t make me weak.

In fact, some of my most enlightening moments have come from being wrong.

I recall a heated argument with a friend about politics. We were both staunch in our beliefs, refusing to see the other’s perspective. In my stubbornness, I found myself declaring, “I’m always right about this stuff!”

Later on, reflecting on the words that had come out of my mouth, I realized what a foolish statement that was. Nobody is always right.

People with genuine integrity understand this. They know that everyone has blind spots and that we all make mistakes. They’re open to the possibility of being wrong and are willing to adjust their stance when presented with new information.

So, take it from me – avoid claiming you’re always right during an argument. It’s not only unrealistic but also shows a lack of humility and respect for others’ opinions.

3) “You always…” or “You never…”

When arguments get heated, it can be tempting to use broad generalizations about the other person’s behavior. Phrases like “You always do this” or “You never consider my feelings” are common in these situations.

However, these sweeping statements are rarely true. They exaggerate the other person’s behavior and can make them feel defensive, pushing the argument further into a negative spiral.

Using “you” statements during conflicts can increase stress and lead to dissatisfaction within relationships.

People with integrity steer clear of these generalizations. Instead, they focus on the specific issue at hand and express how it makes them feel, without blaming or accusing the other person.

4) “Whatever”

Have you ever been in an argument where the other person just shrugs and says “whatever”? It can be frustrating, can’t it?

“Whatever” is a dismissal. It’s a way of saying, “I don’t care enough about this issue (or about you) to continue this conversation.” It shuts down communication and demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person’s perspective.

People with genuine integrity value open communication and mutual respect. They don’t dismiss others’ opinions or feelings. If they need time to process or cool down, they’ll express that honestly rather than resorting to dismissive remarks.

In the end, it’s about maintaining respect, even when you’re in disagreement.

5) “I don’t care”

Saying “I don’t care” during an argument can be just as hurtful as any insult. It’s a way of telling someone that their feelings, their opinions, and their perspective don’t matter to you.

People with genuine integrity value every person’s feelings and perspectives. They understand that saying “I don’t care” can deeply wound someone, making them feel insignificant and unheard.

Even in the midst of a heated argument, they strive to show empathy and understanding. They may not agree with the other person’s perspective, but they always care about how the other person feels.

In a world where we can be anything, let’s choose to be kind. Let’s choose to care. Let’s choose integrity.

6) “This is all your fault”

Blaming others for the issues at hand is an easy way out. I remember a time when I blamed my partner for a misunderstanding we had. It was easier to point fingers at him than to accept that I had also played a part in the confusion.

People with genuine integrity recognize that it takes two to tango. They understand that blaming others won’t solve the problem, but will instead create more resentment and bitterness.

They take responsibility for their actions and their part in any disagreements. They know that every story has two sides and that placing all the blame on one side is neither fair nor productive.

Looking back, I realize that admitting my part in the misunderstanding would have led to a quicker resolution and less hurt feelings. It’s a lesson I carry with me in all my relationships now.

7) “You’re overreacting”

Telling someone they’re overreacting during an argument is a form of invalidation. It’s a way of dismissing the other person’s feelings and experiences, which can be incredibly damaging.

People with genuine integrity understand the importance of validating others’ feelings, even if they don’t fully understand or agree with them.

They know that everyone has a right to their emotions and that it’s not their place to judge whether those emotions are valid or not.

Instead of accusing someone of overreacting, they try to understand why the other person is feeling the way they are. They listen, they empathize, and they work towards a resolution that respects both parties’ feelings.

8) “This is pointless”

Declaring an argument pointless is another form of dismissal. It’s a way of saying that the issue doesn’t matter, or that the other person’s views or feelings are not worth your time.

People with genuine integrity understand that everyone’s feelings matter, and every issue is worth discussing if it’s important to someone.

They value open and honest communication, and they’re willing to put in the effort to understand and resolve conflicts, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable.

They know that every argument is an opportunity for growth and understanding. And they never dismiss it as pointless, because they understand that this journey of mutual understanding and respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

Final thoughts: It’s about mutual respect

In every interaction, especially during arguments, mutual respect should be the foundation.

This, in essence, is what integrity is all about. It’s about valuing the other person’s views and feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. It’s about being honest and open, rather than manipulative or dismissive.

In the words of C.S. Lewis, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” This includes the way we engage in arguments.

Remember, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. The words we choose can either build bridges or build walls. Choose to build bridges. Choose to show respect. Choose integrity.

As you reflect on this, may it guide your words and actions in your next disagreement. Because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not just about winning an argument but nurturing a relationship.