There are some people you meet who charm your socks off before you are even sure why. 

What did they do, exactly?

What’s behind their gift for gab and authentic, engaging personality? How do they so effortlessly draw in new friends and romantic partners to their orbit and make business deals in days that would take others months?

This is a look at the charming traits that highly charismatic and likable people often show without even realizing it. 

Let’s dive in. 

1) They care

The world is increasingly individualistic, and it’s easy to feel like nobody cares.

That is why the rare person who truly cares and has an empathetic outlook on life is so charming and attractive to others. 

Their rarity and sincerity makes them a gem.

They care about what others are going through, even a stranger they happen to cross paths with. Which brings me to the next point… 

2) They’re intuitive about when somebody needs attention or space

Charming people have a real empathy for others and an intuition for the emotional needs of those around them. 

They have compassion for what others are going through and are able to strike a balance between asking questions to check if somebody is okay and also knowing when to give them space. 

They aren’t faking it or trying to get “good karma” or win salvation, they are just doing their best to be a good human being.

3) They actually listen

The next habit of highly likable and charismatic people is that they actually listen to others. 

They don’t only hear the words that people say, they also hear the motivations and unspoken subtext. 

They are quick to grasp what somebody is really trying to say even when it is confusing, which makes them very pleasant to have around.

4) They make people laugh

The acceleration of technology and resurgence of sectarian conflicts around the world, not to mention pandemics and rapid dramatic changes to society, have many people on edge and feeling down. 

That’s why a person who can make others laugh is welcome just about anywhere. 

This charming individual doesn’t try too hard or push it, but they are there with a funny comment or witty joke when you least expect it and it makes everybody like them around.

5) They have real enthusiasm for life 

One individual can raise the energy of a room immeasurably.

Having enthusiasm for life is different than just being positive. It is real energy and proactive power. 

People who have this kind of enthusiasm tend to be very charismatic and excel in their work and personal life, because they rally people when times are hard and keep the hope alive when it seems to be done.

Everybody appreciates a low-key enthusiastic person with a lust for life. 

6) They have style and pizzazz

Certain people just have style. 

They have their own unique razzmatazz and pizzazz that catches the eye of those around them and is fun and classy. 

Their snazzy way of dressing, accessorizing and living their life is spice in an otherwise bland melange. 

It’s charming to be around people who have a unique style and flair. 

7) They know how to tell a good anecdote

Few things are less charming than a person who constantly retells the same boring story. 

Alternately, few things are more endearing and charming than a person who always has a funny, interesting or dramatic anecdote to tell that matches a situation. 

They don’t take up much of our time or energy, but they offer just enough detail to keep everyone on the edge of their seat. 

What’s even better is it’s clear that what they are talking about really happened.

8) They hold off on judging

Charming and kind individuals hold off on judging others too easily. They are more focused on bringing people together, sharing value and doing fun activities or meaningful cooperation.

Judging what somebody else is doing is the last resort, and is not what the charming person cares much about. 

This makes it easier for people to open up to them and trust them.

9) They don’t wear a mask 

Charming people don’t wear a mask. 

They say what they really want to say and are deeply authentic. The key is that they have found a way to be true to themselves and communicate directly while still coming off classy and mature. 

They don’t go around putting on a show or being overly nice, but they state their needs and live their life directly without being too pushy about it. 

But still being direct enough to get respect and results.

10) They’re confident and assured

Fair or unfair, it’s just a fact that confident and poised individuals end up attracting a lot more attention and interest than people who are not. 

The charming individual is sure of themselves and walks with a sure step. 

He or she is not overly self-conscious and knows how to buckle down and get to work or let loose and have a great time all in the course of a week.

11) Respect is their default setting 

Unless there is some reason not to do so or aggressive or dishonest behavior coming their way, the charming individual is respectful. 

It’s fair to say that respect is their default setting. 

They go into every situation with a firm handshake and looking people in the eye. 

This makes them trusted and well liked, because they are showing up with sincerity and honesty to each new situation.

12) They adapt flawlessly to small changes 

There are plenty of changes that happen in life which most of us would like to avoid or undo. It’s no different for the charming and confident person. 

However the distinguishing factor here is that highly charming people except what they can’t change and roll with the punches. 

They find a way to adapt to the changing rhythms of life without taking it personally and without trying to seek reassurance or pity from others. 

They do the inner work and introspection necessary to deal with life’s constant changes, making them a rock of stability and emotional support for others. 

The best recipe for charm

The most charming thing in the world is to meet somebody who is self-aware and genuine in an empowering way.

These people come in all shapes and sizes, all backgrounds and education levels. 

There is no formula for charm and wit, which is what makes it so beautiful:

Every charming person is different in their own wonderful way.