People whose self-worth depends on social media likes usually display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | January 5, 2025, 9:08 am

The social media landscape can be a tricky one to navigate. For some, it’s a fun way to share life’s moments, but for others, it’s an arena where self-worth is determined by the number of likes and shares they receive.

If you’re in the latter category, it might be time to take a step back and reevaluate. You see, tying your self-esteem to social media approval can lead to certain patterns of behavior that you may not even be aware of.

In this article, we’re going to delve into the seven behaviors typically displayed by individuals who measure their worth by their social media performance – and they might not even realize they’re doing it. Let’s get started.

1) Seeking validation

A common trait among people who hinge their self-worth on social media likes is the constant need for validation.

Social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter become their stage, their posts acting as performances to garner applause in the form of likes and comments.

Their self-esteem ebbs and flows with the response they receive on their posts. A photo with a high number of likes can make their day, while a post that doesn’t generate much attention can leave them feeling low and unappreciated.

This dependence on external validation for self-worth often leads to a vicious cycle. The more likes and comments they receive, the more they feel the need to post and keep that positive reinforcement coming.

It’s important to remember, though, that self-worth should ideally come from within, not from the number of double-taps on a screen. This chase for external validation may not be sustainable or healthy in the long run.

2) Over-sharing

In my own experience, I’ve noticed that people who tie their self-worth to social media likes tend to over-share. Every moment, no matter how mundane or intimate, seems to be up for public consumption.

I had a friend who would post everything – from her morning coffee to her evening jogs, and even personal disagreements she had with her partner. In her mind, every post was an opportunity for validation. She believed that the more she shared, the more likes she would receive, and consequently, the better she would feel about herself.

This constant over-sharing can often blur the line between one’s private and public life. It’s a behavior that stems from the need for constant attention and approval. But in my friend’s case, this ultimately had a negative impact, leading to stress and anxiety when her posts didn’t receive the expected engagement.

It’s crucial to understand that not every part of our life needs to be publicized on social media. Some moments are best kept private or shared with loved ones offline.

3) Comparing themselves to others

The social media world is rife with comparison. It’s easy to scroll through your feed and start measuring your own life against the highlight reels of others. For those whose self-worth depends on likes, this comparison game can become an obsessive habit.

A study found that many people who spend a lot of time on Facebook are likely to feel more unhappy and less content with their lives. This was especially true for those who found themselves constantly comparing themselves to others.

When our self-worth is determined by how we stack up against others on social media, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique and it’s unfair to ourselves to compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel.

4) Excessive screen time

When likes and comments become the measure of self-worth, it’s not surprising that screen time tends to increase. Every free moment becomes an opportunity to check for new likes, comments, or followers.

The need for constant validation can lead to hours spent scrolling through feeds, crafting the perfect post, or responding to comments. This excessive screen time can often come at the expense of real-life interactions and experiences.

While it’s okay to enjoy social media and use it as a platform for self-expression or staying connected with friends, it’s important to strike a balance. If you find yourself reaching for your phone out of habit rather than necessity, it might be a sign that you’re placing too much importance on social media validation.

5) Perfection obsession

I remember a time when I was so caught up in the social media world that every post had to be perfect. The right angle, the perfect lighting, the most engaging caption – everything had to be just right. I was convinced that my worth was directly proportional to the quality of my posts and the number of likes they received.

This obsession with perfection led to hours spent on getting a single post ready, and even then, I was never fully satisfied. I would scrutinize every detail, fearing that any imperfection would result in fewer likes and consequently, make me feel less valuable or liked.

This pursuit of perfection can be exhausting and can rob us of the joy of genuine self-expression. It’s important to remember that our value as individuals is not determined by the perfection of our social media posts but by our inherent worth as individuals.

6) Mood fluctuations

It’s not unusual for people who measure their worth by social media likes to experience mood swings. The number of likes, comments, and shares can significantly impact their emotional state.

A post that doesn’t receive the expected engagement can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, or even sadness. On the other hand, a post that gets a lot of likes can bring about a sense of euphoria and extreme happiness.

These mood fluctuations can be exhausting and harmful in the long run. It’s essential to remember that social media is just a tool for communication and should not be the yardstick for measuring self-worth or happiness.

7) Neglecting real-life relationships

When social media likes become the measure of self-worth, there’s a risk of real-life relationships taking a backseat. The pursuit of online validation can consume so much time and attention that interactions with friends, family, and loved ones in the physical world might start to diminish.

Human beings thrive on genuine connections and interactions. It’s these real-life relationships that provide emotional support, help us grow, and contribute to our overall well-being. While social media can complement these relationships, it should never replace them.

Remember, a hundred likes on a post cannot match the warmth of a single hug from a loved one.