The other day, I witnessed a child gleefully knocking cereal boxes off a shelf at the supermarket. Nearby, his mom was just scrolling through her phone, occasionally glancing at him and even laughing at his antics.

I can’t say I shared in her amusement.  Instead, it sparked a thought about the long-term impact of the boundaries—or lack thereof—that we set for children.

It’s no secret that there’s a big connection between childhood discipline and adult behavior. So, what kind of adults do undisciplined children grow into?

It’s a question worth exploring, as these early experiences can shape much of our behavior later in life.

Today, let’s talk about that. Here are seven traits that often emerge in adults who were rarely disciplined as kids.

1) Independence

There’s an interesting paradox when it comes to childhood discipline and independence.

While we often associate discipline with obedience and conformity, a lack of it can actually foster a strong sense of independence.

Children who are rarely disciplined are often left to their own devices. They have to figure things out for themselves, make their own choices, and deal with the consequences.

This self-reliance can carry into adulthood, manifesting as a strong sense of independence and self-direction. They’re not easily swayed by others and prefer to follow their own path.

Of course, it’s not always black and white. Independence is a double-edged sword, with its own sets of pros and cons. But it’s undoubtedly a common trait amongst those who experienced minimal discipline as children.

2) Difficulty with structure

An interesting thing I’ve noticed is that those who weren’t disciplined often find it challenging to deal with structured environments.

Take my friend, for instance. Growing up, his parents were pretty lax with discipline. There weren’t many rules to follow and he basically did what he wanted, when he wanted.

Fast forward to adulthood and he struggles with the 9-5 grind. The rigidity of schedules, deadlines, and rules can feel stifling to him. He often feels like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

In fact, he’s found his stride in freelance work where he sets his own schedules and rules. It’s not always easy, of course, but it suits his personality and upbringing.

This struggle with structure could well be a trait shared by many who were rarely disciplined as children.

3) Tendency towards procrastination

Without the discipline of deadlines and consequences, procrastination can become a habit that’s hard to shake.

Children who were rarely disciplined often don’t develop the knack for self-regulation early on. This can manifest as a tendency to delay tasks and decisions in their adult life.

They may struggle with planning, organization, and the execution of tasks. This is not due to laziness, but rather, it’s because they didn’t have the early training in setting goals and working towards them in a structured way.

So, if you’re an adult who often finds themselves putting things off until the last minute, it could be a trait linked back to a less disciplined childhood.

4) Struggle with self-discipline

Naturally, if you weren’t disciplined as a child, it’s hard to discipline yourself as a grown-up.

How can you learn that skill if you rarely saw it in practice, right?

That’s why people who weren’t disciplined as a child usually struggle with things like:

• Sticking to routines
• Meeting deadlines
• Curbing impulses
• Following through on commitments

According to Better Health, discipline aims to teach kids responsible behavior and self-control. Without it, it’s going to be a real struggle for them in these areas when they grow up.  

5) Difficulty with authority

Adults who were not disciplined regularly as children often carry a latent discomfort with authority into their adult lives.

This can manifest as skepticism towards leadership or a general unease with hierarchical structures.

While this can encourage a healthy questioning of authority and lead to more democratic workplaces, it can also result in conflict, especially in traditional corporate environments where hierarchical structures are prevalent.

Developing an understanding of when and how to appropriately challenge authority, without undermining their own professional relationships and career progression, is key for these individuals.

6) High creativity

On the brighter side, a lack of discipline can often lead to a surge in creativity.

Without strict boundaries and rules, children are free to explore their imagination and ideas. They’re allowed to think outside the box and push the conventional boundaries.

This freedom can foster a creative mind that continues to thrive in adulthood. These individuals often excel in fields that value innovation and originality, such as the arts, marketing, or entrepreneurship.

So while they may struggle with structure and self-discipline, they often possess an enviable ability to think creatively and view the world from unique angles. It’s all about finding the silver lining.

7) Adaptability

This is closely connected to the previous point. Growing up without strict rules or boundaries can actually cultivate an impressive level of adaptability.

Children who aren’t confined by rigid discipline often learn to navigate their world in a more flexible and creative way.

This flexibility can evolve into a strong ability to adapt to different situations in adulthood. They can adjust more easily to unexpected changes and handle life’s uncertainties.

So, despite its challenges, a lack of childhood discipline may actually equip individuals with a unique resilience and adaptability that serves them well in their adult life.

Final thoughts

As we’ve seen, a lack of discipline can result in both challenges and strengths. It can lead to struggles with structure and self-discipline, but it can also foster creativity and independence.

The key takeaway here is not to label one upbringing as ‘better’ than another. Instead, it’s about acknowledging the influence of our past on our present and using this understanding to navigate our future.

If you find yourself relating to these traits, remember that self-awareness is the first step towards growth.

By recognizing these characteristics in ourselves, we can better understand our behaviors, make necessary adjustments, and capitalize on our strengths.

After all, our past doesn’t have to dictate our future. With understanding and effort, we can shape our own destiny.