Growing up in a very religious household has shaped who I am today, and I’m sure many of you who had similar upbringings can relate.

The strict environment we were raised in often leaves its mark on us as adults, sometimes in ways we don’t immediately notice.

Through my own experiences, I’ve observed 9 distinct behaviors that seem common among those of us who grew up with religion at the forefront of our lives.

1) Enhanced emotional resilience

Growing up in an extremely religious household often involves adhering to strict rules and norms.

As children, we learn to navigate these rules, developing a form of emotional resilience that stays with us as adults. This resilience isn’t about suppressing emotions; rather, it’s about managing them effectively in challenging situations.

We often find ourselves capable of handling stress and adversity with a calmness that may seem unusual to others. This is a direct result of years spent balancing the demands of an intensely religious environment.

This enhanced emotional resilience can manifest in various ways.

However, it’s also important to note that this resilience could sometimes be misconstrued as emotional detachment, which is not always the case.

2) High level of discipline

Growing up, I would watch my dad wake up early every morning to pray for hours. He lived his life with strict discipline, following a schedule that hardly ever changed.

For many of us who were raised in very religious households, discipline became second nature. We were taught to follow strict schedules, perform rituals, and stick to a specific set of rules from a young age.

This upbringing often leads to us being very routine-oriented as adults.

This discipline isn’t just about daily routines; it also shows up in how we make moral and ethical decisions. We tend to have a strong sense of what’s right and wrong, and we hold ourselves to high standards.

However, there’s also a risk of becoming too rigid or inflexible because of this discipline.

It’s essential to find a balance and allow ourselves to adapt when needed.

3) Deep-seated respect for authority

A notable trait in those raised in extremely religious households is a deep-seated respect for authority.

This stems from the reverence taught for religious figures, parents, or community elders; we’re often taught to listen, obey, and not question those placed in positions of authority over us.

As adults, this respect can translate into various behaviors.

We might be more likely to follow rules and regulations without question or show deference to superiors in the workplace—but it’s important not to let this respect turn into blind obedience.

Critical thinking is a vital skill that allows us to make informed decisions and stand up for ourselves when necessary.

While respecting authority, we must also ensure that our voices are heard and our rights are respected.

4) Introspective and contemplative nature

Adults who were raised in extremely religious households often develop an introspective and contemplative nature.

This is because religious teachings often encourage deep thought, self-reflection, and meditation as a means of understanding one’s place in the world and one’s relationship with a higher power.

This introspection can lead to a high level of self-awareness.

We may find ourselves constantly evaluating our actions, decisions, and feelings, striving to align them with our moral and ethical standards.

This introspective nature can be an asset, leading to personal growth, understanding, and empathy towards others.

As Buddha wisely taught, “The mind is everything. What you think, you become.”

5) A strong sense of community

Growing up in a religious household often instills in us a strong sense of community.

Many religions emphasize the importance of fellowship and community service, resulting in individuals who highly value these principles.

As adults, we might find ourselves naturally gravitating towards community involvement.

Whether it’s volunteering for local events, engaging in neighborhood activities, or simply maintaining a strong network of close-knit friends, our upbringing has taught us the importance of being part of a larger whole.

This sense of community can bring about a host of positive behaviors.

We might be more empathetic, understanding, and willing to lend a helping hand to those in need.

6) An inclination towards tradition

Another common behavior among adults who were raised in extremely religious households is an inclination towards tradition.

The rituals, ceremonies, and customs associated with religious practices often instill in us a deep appreciation for tradition.

As adults, this can translate into various areas of our lives.

We might enjoy celebrating holidays with all the traditional trappings, or we may have a fondness for old-fashioned manners and values.

This love for tradition can bring a sense of continuity and connection to our past.

7) A tendency towards self-sacrifice

Many religions teach the value of self-sacrifice and altruism.

Growing up in an extremely religious household, we often learn to put the needs of others before our own—this can lead to a strong tendency towards self-sacrifice in adulthood.

We may find ourselves always ready to lend a hand, even at the cost of our own comfort or convenience. Our upbringing has taught us that there is virtue in sacrifice and helping others, which can lead us to be very generous and giving individuals.

While it’s admirable to help others, we must also ensure that we’re taking care of our own needs. It’s important to remember that self-care is not selfish.

After all, we can best help others when we ourselves are in a good place, both physically and emotionally.

8) High value on forgiveness

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of many religious teachings.

For those of us raised in extremely religious households, the act of forgiving is often emphasized as a virtuous and necessary action.

As such, we may carry into adulthood a high value on forgiveness.

Whether it’s forgiving others for their mistakes or seeking forgiveness when we’ve done wrong, this behavior reflects our upbringing’s influence.

We may be more likely to let go of grudges and seek reconciliation, valuing harmony over conflict.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

9) Strong sense of spiritual connection

The final behavior we often display as adults raised in extremely religious households is a strong sense of spiritual connection.

This is not surprising, considering our upbringing was steeped in religious practices and teachings.

Regardless of whether we continue to follow the same faith or adopt different spiritual beliefs as adults, this connection often remains.

We may find solace in prayer, meditation, or simply spending time in nature.

This spiritual connection can offer a sense of peace and purpose, providing comfort during challenging times.

What does this mean for you?

Having explored these behaviors, it’s worth reflecting on how they resonate with your own experiences.

By understanding them, we can gain insight into our own actions and reactions, and for those who didn’t grow up this way, it offers a glimpse into the psychological effects of a religious upbringing.

Here are a few final reflections to consider:

• Recognize that upbringing plays a significant role in shaping adult behavior, but it’s not the only factor
• Appreciate the diversity of experiences among those raised in religious households
• Use this understanding to build empathy and foster meaningful conversations

Growing up in an extremely religious household can be a complex experience; it’s a journey that leaves an indelible mark, shaping the adults these individuals become.