Ever thought your parents were a little too demanding while you were growing up?

Maybe their expectations were too high, they were too controlling, or they didn’t allow room in your schedule for leisure and fun.

Tiger parenting refers to a strict style of parenting aimed at pushing children to achieve impressive levels of success, academic and otherwise.

While this approach can turn kids into high performers, it can also make them develop a perfectionist mindset that persists long after they leave the nest.

People who were raised by tiger parents often display these 7 subtle behaviors as adults.

Perhaps it’s time you gave yourself a break.

1) They hold themselves to impossible standards

Tiger parenting emphasizes a relentless pursuit of excellence.

When kids grow up thinking that only the highest level of achievement is acceptable, they begin to hold themselves to impossible standards.

They become perfectionists not only in their careers but in all aspects of their lives.

They chase the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect exercise routine, the perfect diet, the perfect taco to have for lunch.

They equate self-worth with perfect performance, a dangerous slope that ends in burnout and disappointment.

Burdening yourself with multiple responsibilities and striving to excel in each one takes a toll on mental and physical health.

While there’s nothing wrong with aiming for excellence, it’s essential to pace yourself.

Life isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon.

2) They fear failure above all else

The high expectations set by tiger parents also foster a profound fear of failure.

Adults who were raised this way tend to view any setback, no matter how minor, as the end of the world.

This fear can later lead to extreme caution in both personal and professional endeavors, stifling creativity and risk-taking.

I had a friend in high school whose parents were demanding, and she would freak out whenever she would get less-than-perfect marks on a paper.

It didn’t matter the subject. She was always supposed to be the best in the class.

I tried to explain multiple times that you can’t possibly be great at everything (something my parents thankfully explained to me), but she was adamant to at least try.

We lost touch after college and met up a few years later.

Professionally, she was doing amazing. Personally, not so much.

She told me that striving for success made her pick the safest route possible. That made her feel like she wasn’t getting the most out of life.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too late for her to course correct.

Taking the occasional risk is crucial for self-development, even if you end up failing.

Don’t lose sight of that.

3) They have low self-esteem

People who were raised by tiger parents often struggle with self-esteem as adults.

This parenting style involves harsh criticism, limited praise, and a focus on “fixing” shortcomings rather than celebrating accomplishments.

Growing up in such an environment leaves its mark, eroding the children’s confidence.

When you constantly feel like you’re not good enough, you tend to internalize the message.

As adults, kids of tiger parents are less self-assured than their folks would have hoped:

• They frequently criticize themselves and focus on their flaws instead of their strengths
• They feel uncomfortable receiving compliments
• They take criticism personally, obsessing over negative feedback
• They compare themselves to others and feel like they’re falling short
• They second-guess themselves on a daily basis

Does that sound like anyone you know?

4) They have difficulty expressing emotions

Individuals raised by tiger parents might struggle to express their emotions due to the rigid standards imposed during their upbringing.

If their parents emphasized productivity, showing vulnerability was probably seen as a sign of weakness.

As a result, the children grew up with a limited emotional vocabulary, so they may continue to have difficulty identifying and articulating feelings later in life.

They can come across as emotionally reserved or detached even when emotional expression is appropriate.

Bottling up emotions means increased stress.

Moreover, it prevents you from forming deep, intimate relationships.

The kind they write books and movies about.

5) They avoid conflict

When you’re raised by tiger parents, dissent is discouraged and compliance is rewarded.

You’re taught to respect your parents and never talk back, or you risk punishment.

Kids who grow up like this frequently develop a heightened sensitivity to conflict and a strong desire to maintain harmony.

Many internalize the belief that avoiding conflict is necessary to secure approval – a belief that haunts them into adulthood.

They might be reluctant to voice differing opinions, stand up for themselves, or upset others.

I hate to break it to you, but issues that aren’t addressed accumulate and create underlying tension.

Furthermore, if you don’t advocate for your needs and desires, who will?

Conflict is an unpleasant, but natural part of life.

The sooner you accept this, the better off you’ll be in the long run.

6) They feed on external validation

Kids of tiger parents can develop a dependency on external validation due to the high-pressure environment in which they were brought up.

As approval is typically tied to meeting expectations, children understand from an early age that achievements equal self-worth.

They become accustomed to seeking affirmation through grades, awards, and accolades, a behavior that often persists in adulthood.

Only this time around, the validation comes from bosses, peers, and social circles:

• They fish for compliments and positive feedback to feel good about themselves
• They rely on others’ opinions to make choices rather than trusting their own judgment
• They post on social media a lot and closely monitor their likes and follower count
• They experience a lack of motivation or purpose when they don’t get the validation they need

Your self-worth shouldn’t be tied to what you accomplish or what others think of you.

As long as you stay true to your values and live the kind of life you want to live, you’re doing a terrific job.

7) They are perpetually stressed

Children of tiger parents often grow into chronically stressed adults.

The pressure to fulfill parental expectations doesn’t leave much room for self-care or relaxation.

By the time you escape your parents’ clutches, you’re probably so used to the pressure that you barely notice feeling exhausted anymore.

Yet, the symptoms are likely there.

Headaches. Persistent fatigue. Irritability. Digestive problems. The list goes on and on.

To break free from this dangerous cycle, you need to develop healthy coping mechanisms and self-care routines.

If you can’t do it on your own, a therapist can provide valuable assistance.

Final thoughts

Most tiger parents have their children’s best interests at heart, but their style of parenting doesn’t come without downsides.

If you recognize yourself in the above, you might want to take a step back and reassess your life path.

A key part of adulthood is to define what success means to you.

Don’t be surprised if your definition is completely different from the one you grew up with.