If you were raised by authoritarian parents, you probably know the drill all too well—strict rules, little room for debate, and the expectation to obey without question.

Maybe you’ve thought about how this shaped you as an adult. You’re not alone; I’ve wondered the same about my own upbringing.

Growing up under the watchful eye of authoritarian parents can leave a lasting impact, often manifesting in how we navigate relationships, handle conflict, and even see ourselves.

That strict, no-nonsense parenting style doesn’t just fade away when you move out.

In this article, we’re going to dive into 8 key behaviors that tend to emerge in adults who grew up with authoritarian parents.

These might shed new light on how you approach life.

Let’s jump in.

1) A need for control

Let’s start with control. Seems fitting, right?

Children raised by authoritarian parents often feel a strong need for control in their adult lives. It’s not surprising when you think about it.

Growing up, they had little say in their own lives, with every decision made by their parents.

In adulthood, these individuals often feel an intense need to maintain control over their own destiny. This can manifest in various ways.

It could be in the form of meticulous planning, an obsession with order and structure, or an inability to delegate tasks.

But it’s not just about controlling their own environment. Sometimes, this need for control extends to other people. They may try to dictate how others should behave or react – even when it’s not their place to do so.

This need for control isn’t inherently bad. It can drive success and ambition.

That said, recognizing it and understanding where it comes from is the first step towards ensuring it doesn’t become a hindrance in personal relationships or professional growth.

2) Anxiety

This one isn’t easy to talk about, but it’s important.

Growing up in a home where strict rules and high expectations are the norm can leave lasting effects on your mental health. The constant pressure to meet rigid standards can create a cycle of stress and fear of failure.

As noted by the folks at Psych Central, “Researchers have found links between authoritarian parenting and negative mental health outcomes in various countries, including childhood anxiety and depression.”

If you grew up with authoritarian parents, it’s possible you’ve struggled with anxiety as an adult—whether it’s feeling overly worried about making mistakes or constantly seeking approval to avoid disapproval.

That underlying tension can stick around, shaping how you view yourself and the world.

3) Being goal-driven

Ever wonder why you’re so laser-focused on your goals?

While being raised by strict parents certainly has its challenges, it can also have some surprising benefits. One of the most notable is becoming incredibly goal-driven.

Why is that?

Well, growing up under authoritarian parenting often means having high expectations placed on you from a young age.

When you’re constantly expected to perform well, achieve academically, or be “the best” at whatever you do, that drive can carry over into adulthood.

This upbringing often instills a strong sense of discipline, persistence, and a hunger to succeed.

Interestingly, research on college students in China found that an authoritarian parenting style was linked to higher personal expectations.

In other words, children of authoritarian parents tended to set ambitious goals for themselves—a trait that can pay off when it comes to career achievements and other personal milestones.

While being goal-driven is a powerful trait that can lead to success, it’s crucial to be aware of when it might be tipping over into unhealthy pressure or burnout.

Finding that sweet spot between striving for your goals and taking care of your mental well-being is key.

4) Difficulty expressing emotions

Here’s a personal one for you.

I remember growing up, emotions in our home were often stifled. The rule was simple – “Children are to be seen, not heard.”

Crying, shouting, or even laughing too loudly were frowned upon. It was all about maintaining decorum and not showing any signs of ‘weakness’.

Fast forward to adulthood, and I found myself struggling with expressing my feelings. I would often bottle up my emotions until they exploded in ways I didn’t like or understand.

To this day, I have to consciously remind myself that it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to express those feelings. And most importantly, it’s okay if those feelings aren’t always positive.

5) Perfectionistic tendencies

Raised under high expectations and stringent rules, children of authoritarian parents often grow up to be perfectionists. They develop a fear of making mistakes and are relentlessly hard on themselves.

Research seems to back this up. As noted by the American Psychological Association, people who grew up with critical parents or parents with high expectations tended to have more perfectionistic tendencies.

This can manifest in their careers, relationships, and even hobbies. Heck, I’ve heard stories of people not taking up a new hobby because they’re afraid they won’t be perfect at it!

Perfectionism isn’t all bad – it can push us to achieve great things. But when it becomes a source of constant stress or unhappiness, it’s time to take a step back and reassess.

Because life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about learning, growing, and finding joy in the journey.

6) A dislike for authority

Do you find yourself bristling at authority figures—bosses, teachers, even the government? When someone tries to tell you what to do, does it immediately put you on edge?

It’s actually quite common for people raised by authoritarian parents to have a complicated relationship with authority as adults.

Indeed, researchers have noted that “strict parental rules and punishments often influence the child to rebel against authority figures as they grow older.”

In a way, it’s the natural response to years of having every decision made for you, often without explanation.

That resistance can manifest as skepticism toward rules, reluctance to follow orders, or even a preference for working independently to avoid the constraints of traditional hierarchies.

While this dislike for authority can make you fiercely independent and assertive, it can also create challenges when cooperation or compromise is necessary.

Understanding why you react this way is the first step toward finding a balance between healthy autonomy and working harmoniously with others.

Final thoughts: Reshaping your narrative

Growing up with authoritarian parents can shape you in ways you may not have realized.

Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward understanding yourself better and finding healthier ways to navigate your life and relationships.

Remember, while our past shapes us, it doesn’t have to define our future. Self-awareness and a willingness to grow can help turn these experiences into strengths, allowing you to lead a balanced and fulfilling life.

Embrace the journey—imperfections and all.