People who were overly praised as children often grow up to have these 7 negative traits
Praise and recognition are important for a child’s development.
However, when it’s overdone, it can create unrealistic expectations and attitudes that could potentially hinder one’s growth.
In this article, we’re going to explore 7 negative traits that individuals who were overly praised as children often grow up with.
Let’s delve into it, shall we?
1) Fear of failure
Isn’t it ironic? The more you’re praised as a child, the more you might grow up fearing failure. Here’s the thing.
When you’re constantly told that you’re exceptional, it can create an internal pressure to maintain that status.
It doesn’t take long before you start fearing mistakes, as they could shatter this perfect image others have of you.
This fear of failure can lead to a range of issues. You might find yourself avoiding risks or new experiences because the possibility of not succeeding scares you.
This can limit your personal growth and prevent you from reaching your full potential.
The key is to understand that failure is not a bad thing. It’s a part of life and an important learning tool.
As the saying goes, “Failure is the stepping stone to success.” So, don’t be afraid to fail. Embrace it, learn from it, and move forward.
2) Difficulty accepting criticism
This one struck a chord with me personally.
When you’re always praised as a child, you may develop a sense that you can do no wrong. This can make it incredibly tough to accept criticism later in life.
Take me for instance. I was always praised for my creativity growing up. My parents, my teachers, everyone was always impressed with my imaginative projects and ideas.
But when I started my job as a graphic designer, my boss wasn’t as easily impressed.
The first time I received feedback on a project, I was taken aback. I felt hurt and defensive. After all, I wasn’t used to being criticized.
It took me some time to realize that criticism isn’t a bad thing. It’s an opportunity for growth. It helps us identify our weaknesses and improve.
3) A sense of entitlement
This one might hit close to home for many of us.
Being overly praised as a child can sometimes lead to a sense of entitlement in adulthood. You may start to believe that you’re deserving of certain things without necessarily having to work for them.
For me, this manifested in the form of expecting success without putting in enough effort.
I was so accustomed to being praised and succeeding in my childhood, I genuinely believed success would automatically follow me into adulthood.
But life had other plans.
When I launched my first startup, I was convinced it would be an instant hit. After all, I was the “golden child,” right? But it tanked. And that failure hit me hard.
It was a wake-up call. It made me realize that success isn’t entitled; it’s earned through hard work, determination, and resilience.
Take a step back. Real life doesn’t hand out participation trophies. Every accomplishment requires effort and dedication.
4) Perfectionism
It might seem like a positive trait at first glance, but trust me, it’s not always so.
When you grow up being constantly praised, you often develop a need to be perfect. You become overly critical of yourself and set unrealistically high standards.
I’ve been there. I remember spending hours on a single project, obsessing over every minor detail, trying to make it ‘perfect.’
It was exhausting and honestly, not very productive.
Perfectionism can lead to increased stress levels, anxiety, and can even contribute to mental health issues like depression.
It’s important to strive for excellence, sure. But here’s a fact: nobody’s perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes and have flaws – they’re part of being human.
Cut yourself some slack and embrace your imperfections. They’re what make you unique!
5) Difficulty with teamwork
Here’s something to mull over.
When you’re used to basking in praise and attention, working as part of a team can be challenging. Why?
Because teamwork requires you to share the spotlight, and that’s not always easy when you’re used to being the star of the show.
Individuals who were overly praised as children often struggle with teamwork as adults.
They’re used to being the center of attention, and sharing that attention can be a bitter pill to swallow.
I experienced this firsthand when I joined a community service group in college.
I found it tough to share responsibilities and felt overlooked when others received praise.
Over time, I understood: teamwork isn’t about individual glory; it’s about achieving a common goal.
It’s about collaboration, compromise, and mutual respect.
Try shifting your focus from ‘me’ to ‘we’. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but trust me, the rewards are worth it.
6) Difficulty expressing gratitude
Constant praise as a child can sometimes make us take appreciation for granted. This was a tough lesson for me to learn.
Growing up, I was always the apple of everyone’s eye, the star player, the A-grade student. Praises were showered upon me so often that I started expecting them as my due.
This made it tough for me to express gratitude. I mean, why thank someone for something I felt entitled to?
It was only when a dear friend pointed out my lack of appreciation that I realized how wrong I had been. It hit me hard, but it was a reality check I needed.
Gratefulness is such an essential trait. It not only makes others feel valued, but it also fills us with positivity and humility.
7) Over-reliance on external validation
This is perhaps the most significant pitfall.
When you’re constantly praised, you start to rely on others to confirm your worth. Your self-esteem becomes tied to what others think of you, rather than how you perceive yourself.
I remember feeling crushed when I didn’t receive the same level of praise in my professional life as I did in my personal life. It was a hard pill to swallow.
The truth is, external validation is fleeting and inconsistent. It’s your self-belief that truly matters.
Believe in your abilities, your strengths, and your worth. Don’t let others dictate your value. You are enough, just as you are.
Final thoughts
Awareness is the first step towards change.
Begin by acknowledging these traits. Reflect on how they’ve shaped your life and relationships.
This self-awareness can be a powerful tool in reshaping your thoughts and actions.
Adjusting your mindset won’t happen overnight. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
But with determination and patience, you can shift from seeking validation to self-belief, from fearing failure to embracing learning, from expecting praise to expressing gratitude.
Every journey begins with a single step. So, take that step today.
Start embracing imperfections, valuing teamwork, accepting criticism, and above all, believing in yourself.
In the words of American psychologist Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
So accept yourself, warts and all, and watch as you grow into the best version of yourself.
After all, the only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.