There’s a unique resilience found in those who’ve had to stand on their own two feet early in life.

In my experience, life has a way of shaping us, often through circumstances beyond our control. For some, this takes the form of forced independence at a young age.

Being thrust into self-reliance isn’t easy, but it does foster certain strengths that can serve us well into adulthood. 

In this article, we’ll dive into these strengths and explore how early independence can shape us into formidable adults. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Resilience in the face of adversity

One of the most striking strengths I’ve noticed in those who’ve had to fend for themselves early on is resilience.

Resilience, in this context, is not just about bouncing back from hardships. It’s about learning to navigate through life’s storms with a kind of grace and grit that’s often absent in those who’ve had an easier path.

This isn’t to say that these individuals don’t feel the impact of tough situations. Quite the contrary. They feel these blows, perhaps more intensely than most. But they’ve learned, often out of necessity, how to weather these experiences and come out stronger on the other side.

And it’s here where mindfulness comes into play. These individuals have a heightened awareness of their experiences – the good and the bad. They’re not just surviving; they’re learning from each experience, cultivating an inner strength that becomes their guiding force.

2) Self-reliance and problem-solving

The second strength I’ve observed is an innate sense of self-reliance and a knack for problem-solving. Growing up, many of us were sheltered from life’s harsh realities, but for those who were forced to be independent, they had to learn to navigate the world on their own.

This early need for self-reliance often cultivates a keen problem-solving ability. These individuals don’t wait for someone else to come along and fix their problems – they take matters into their own hands.

As Buddha said, “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

And that’s just what these individuals do. They walk their path, solving problems as they arise with a quiet confidence that comes from knowing they can rely on themselves. It’s this self-reliance that sets them apart and makes them uniquely equipped to handle life’s challenges.

3) An intimate understanding of impermanence

Buddhist teachings often speak of the concept of impermanence – the idea that all things, good or bad, are transient and ever-changing. For individuals who were forced to be independent early in life, this understanding of impermanence is often deeply ingrained.

These individuals have seen firsthand how quickly circumstances can change. They’ve experienced the fragility of life at a young age, learning that stability is not always guaranteed.

This may seem like a harsh lesson, but it’s also a liberating one. It frees them from clinging too tightly to the status quo and allows them to move with life’s ebb and flow with greater ease.

Instead of resisting change, they embrace it. They understand that nothing is permanent, and this acceptance allows them to navigate life’s ups and downs with a sense of calm and flexibility that many strive for in their mindfulness practice.

4) A heightened sense of mindfulness

Mindfulness isn’t just about being present; it’s about being fully aware of our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It’s a skill that often takes years to cultivate. But for those who’ve had to be independent early in life, this heightened sense of mindfulness can come more naturally.

Their circumstances have forced them to be incredibly aware of their surroundings and their inner state. They’ve had to pay close attention to their feelings, their needs, and the realities of their situation.

This kind of hyper-awareness can lead to a deep sense of mindfulness in adulthood. They’re not just going through the motions; they’re fully present in their experiences – the good and the bad.

While this intense awareness can sometimes be challenging, it also allows them to navigate life with a level of authenticity and clarity that many strive for. 

5) Embracing humility and minimal ego

One of the fascinating strengths I’ve observed in those who’ve had to be independent early in life is their embrace of humility and a minimal ego.

Having to navigate life’s challenges on your own tends to strip away any pretenses. There’s little room for ego when you’re focused on survival and growth. Instead, there’s a raw humility and authenticity that shines through.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the concept of minimizing ego to live a more fulfilling life. It’s a principle that these individuals often embody without even trying.

Their experiences have led them to understand that ego often gets in the way of true growth and happiness. They’re not interested in putting on airs or proving their worth. They know their strength, they know their worth, and they’re comfortable just being themselves.

This humility and minimal ego is not only admirable but also deeply inspiring. It’s a strength born of hardship, but one that can bring about profound peace and contentment in life.

6) A deep appreciation for the present moment

Buddhist teachings and mindfulness practice both emphasize the importance of being fully present in the moment. For individuals who were forced to be independent early in life, this appreciation for the present moment often comes naturally.

Their experiences have taught them that life is unpredictable and ever-changing. They’ve learned to not take any moment for granted and to appreciate what they have while they have it.

This isn’t always an easy lesson to learn, especially when faced with adversity. But it’s a powerful one. It teaches them to live fully in the present, rather than getting caught up in regrets of the past or anxieties about the future.

This deep appreciation of the present moment is a strength that not only enriches their own lives but can also profoundly impact those around them.

7) A profound understanding of interconnectedness

One of the most powerful teachings in Buddhism is the concept of interconnectedness – the understanding that we’re all part of a larger whole and that our actions impact others and the world around us.

For those who’ve had to be independent early in life, this sense of interconnectedness often comes with lived experience. They know that their actions have consequences, and they understand the ripple effect that can stem from even the smallest decisions.

They’ve seen how their struggles have influenced others and how they, in turn, have been shaped by the people and circumstances around them. This understanding goes beyond mere intellectual knowledge; it’s a deep, visceral awareness that impacts how they move through the world.

The Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.” This awakening is often a natural part of their journey, a raw and honest understanding born from their unique experiences.

This profound sense of interconnectedness is more than just a strength; it’s a guiding principle that shapes their decisions and actions, promoting compassion, empathy, and understanding in their interactions with others.

8) The ability to find calm within the chaos

Here’s a strength that might seem counterintuitive: those who’ve had to fend for themselves early in life often develop an uncanny ability to find calm within the chaos.

You might think that people who’ve faced significant adversity would be more prone to stress and anxiety. And while that can certainly be the case, they also often cultivate an ability to find peace amidst turmoil.

Growing up in unpredictable situations, they’ve had to learn how to stay calm and focused even when everything around them is in disarray. This ability is directly tied to mindfulness.

Mindfulness teaches us to stay grounded in the present moment, no matter what’s happening around us. For these individuals, this isn’t just a practice; it’s a survival strategy.

They’ve learned to tune into their inner peace, even when the world around them is chaotic. This ability to find calm within the chaos is a powerful strength that carries them through even the toughest of times and contributes significantly to their resilience and adaptability as adults.

Conclusion

There’s a unique strength and resilience in those who’ve had to be independent early in life. While their journey may be marked with adversity, it’s also characterized by growth, resilience, and a deep understanding of life’s most profound truths.

From resilience in the face of adversity to a profound understanding of interconnectedness, these individuals truly embody the essence of mindfulness and Buddhist teachings in their everyday lives.

If you’re intrigued by these principles and want to delve deeper into how Buddhist teachings can help you lead a more fulfilling life, I invite you to check out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.

In it, I explore these themes in greater depth and provide practical advice on how to incorporate these principles into your own life.

Remember, no matter what obstacles you face, there’s always room for growth, resilience, and wisdom. Just as those who’ve had to stand on their own two feet early in life have shown us, hardship can shape us into stronger and wiser individuals.