Ever find yourself wondering why you react a certain way or why certain patterns keep showing up in your life?

I’ve been there, too.

It’s taken me years of reflection and countless conversations to realize that so much of who we become traces back to the way we were raised.

When your parents are emotionally mature, they become your anchor, offering the stability you need to grow and explore the world with confidence.

But when they’re not?

Things get complicated.

Looking back at my own experiences and those of people I’ve worked with, one truth stands out: being raised by emotionally immature parents doesn’t just fade away after childhood.

It shapes you, in ways you may not even notice until later. It’s not about blame; it’s about understanding.

These traits that show up in adulthood aren’t necessarily bad—they’re survival mechanisms, ways we’ve learned to cope and adapt.

In this piece, I’ll dive into nine traits commonly seen in people who grew up with emotionally immature parents. 

1) Seeking external validation

When you’re raised by emotionally immature parents, you may find yourself constantly seeking approval from outside sources.

This comes from a history of having your feelings dismissed or invalidated, leading you to question your own judgment.

This constant search for validation can be exhausting and unfulfilling.

But it’s not something that you’re doomed to continue.

By acknowledging this trait, you have the opportunity to turn inward and start validating yourself.

It’s not an easy journey, but it’s a worthy one.

Instead of relying on others for affirmation, you can start to trust your own instincts.

This shift requires courage, self-awareness, and patience with yourself.

2) Difficulty setting boundaries

Being raised by emotionally immature parents often leads to difficulty in setting healthy boundaries.

You may have grown up in an environment where your personal space was not respected, and as a result, you might find it challenging to assert your own needs and limitations.

This lack of boundaries can seep into your personal and professional relationships, making it hard for you to say no, even when you’re overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

Research shows that children of emotionally immature parents are more likely to struggle with boundary-setting in adulthood, as they often prioritize others’ needs over their own to avoid conflict.

Recognizing this trait is the first step towards change.

Start by understanding that it’s okay to prioritize your needs and establish limits with others.

It may feel uncomfortable initially, but remember that setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect and maturity.

As the renowned author Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

So dare to set those boundaries.

Your wellbeing depends on it.

3) Struggling to break free from limiting beliefs

Growing up with emotionally juvenile parents often results in us harboring limiting beliefs and societal conditioning that stifle our authenticity and freedom.

These ingrained patterns can profoundly affect how we perceive ourselves and the world.

The good news is, these limiting beliefs can be transcended.

An empowering tool that I’ve found incredibly helpful in this journey towards personal liberation is the “Free Your Mind” masterclass with the shaman Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass is a transformative journey, offering practical exercises to dismantle false beliefs and societal conditioning.

It encourages the development of a personal worldview that embraces your true potential, fostering a shift from frustration and guilt to acceptance and love.

One of the most compelling aspects of this masterclass is that it aligns perfectly with the journey of someone who has been raised by emotionally immature parents.

It provides valuable insights into aligning your actions with your personal values, leading to improved mental clarity and emotional resilience.

But don’t just take my word for it. I encourage you to experience this masterclass firsthand.

Embrace this opportunity to start your journey towards personal freedom and authentic living.

It’s time for you to break free.

4) The tendency to suppress emotions

If you were raised by emotionally immature parents, there’s a high chance you learned to suppress your emotions at an early age.

You might have been taught, directly or indirectly, that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness or that certain feelings are unacceptable.

This suppression can carry into adulthood, leading to difficulty in acknowledging and processing your feelings.

It can also result in emotional disconnection from others and yourself.

But suppressing emotions isn’t the path to personal freedom.

It’s through honestly acknowledging our feelings and allowing ourselves to fully experience them that we grow and heal.

Having just explored the idea of breaking free from limiting beliefs with the “Free Your Mind” masterclass, it’s important to recognize that emotional suppression is one of the most limiting behaviors we can engage in.

So let me leave you with a question: Are you ready to break the cycle and allow yourself to feel your emotions fully and openly?

5) An innate ability for empathy

Interestingly, being raised by emotionally immature parents often results in a heightened sense of empathy.

You may have developed this as a defense mechanism, learning to read others’ emotions to navigate your environment more effectively.

Research indicates that children exposed to emotionally unstable parenting may develop heightened empathic skills as a means of survival and emotional adaptation.

However, this heightened empathy can sometimes lead to an overextension of yourself, putting others’ needs before your own.

It’s essential to balance this empathetic nature with self-care and boundary-setting.

Don’t view your empathy as a weakness.

Instead, see it as a strength, a testament to your resilience and adaptability.

Nurture it, but remember to protect your own emotional well-being as well.

Your ability to empathize is a gift.

Let it be a bridge connecting you to others, not a burden weighing you down.

6) Overcompensation through perfectionism

Children of emotionally immature parents often grow up striving for perfection.

This trait usually stems from the desire to gain approval or love from their parents.

As adults, this can translate into a relentless pursuit of perfection in various aspects of life.

While striving for excellence can be a positive trait, the compulsive need for perfection can lead to stress, burnout, and self-criticism.

Recognizing this tendency is the first step towards finding a healthier balance.

It’s about understanding that it’s okay to make mistakes and that your worth is not defined by your achievements.

Life is not about being perfect.

It’s about being real, being you.

So embrace your imperfections.

They’re what make you uniquely you.

7) Strong resilience

One might think that having emotionally immature parents would make you weak or fragile.

But in reality, it often results in incredible resilience.

Research has shown that individuals who faced emotional neglect in childhood often develop higher levels of resilience as a coping mechanism to manage adversity in their environment.

The struggles faced in childhood build a kind of strength and adaptability that can serve you well in adulthood.

This resilience, however, should not be used as an excuse to endure unhealthy situations or relationships.

Rather, it’s a tool that can help you navigate life’s challenges and continue to grow.

Your resilience is a testament to your ability to overcome adversity.

But remember, you also have the right to seek happiness and peace, not just survival.

8) Difficulty trusting others

Trust issues are common among those raised by emotionally immature parents.

If your parents were unreliable or inconsistent, it’s natural to develop defenses to protect yourself from future disappointment.

This can make it challenging to form deep connections with others, but it’s not an insurmountable hurdle.

Learning to trust again often involves healing past wounds and recognizing that everyone is not like your parents.

Building trust takes time and patience—both with others and with yourself.

But it’s worth the effort.

Because in trust, we find connection, and in connection, we find joy.

9) A deep desire for authentic relationships

Despite the challenges faced, individuals raised by emotionally immature parents often crave authentic relationships.

This stems from a deep-seated desire to experience the love and connection they may have missed out on in their formative years.

This desire can lead to a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, where one learns to cultivate healthier relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

Your yearning for genuine connections is a powerful motivator.

It can drive you to break cycles of dysfunction and build relationships that are nurturing, supportive, and real.

Embracing your journey towards authenticity

Through this exploration of traits commonly seen in individuals raised by emotionally immature parents, we’ve uncovered profound insights into the resilience of the human spirit.

Each trait, from heightened empathy to strong resilience, is a testament to our capacity to adapt and grow, even in challenging circumstances.

These traits are not weaknesses. They’re reminders of your journey and your strength. And by acknowledging them, you can start to heal, grow, and create more authentic relationships.

For those ready to take the next step in this journey, I highly recommend the “Free Your Mind” masterclass with shaman Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass provides practical exercises and teachings that align perfectly with the process of breaking free from emotional suppression, overcoming limiting beliefs, and fostering personal growth.

Rudá Iandê’s wisdom and teachings can guide you towards mental clarity and emotional resilience.

You’ll learn to align your actions with your personal values and break free from societal conditioning.

Joining this masterclass is a step towards nurturing authentic relationships and living an empowered life.

It’s a journey towards embracing your unique self and finding freedom within.

Remember, your past does not define you.

It’s part of your journey, shaping you into the resilient individual you are today.

Embrace it.

Learn from it.

And keep moving forward towards authenticity and freedom.