We all encounter people who seem to wear a mask of goodness. But beneath the surface, they often rely on deceptive tactics to present an image that’s not truly them.

The difference is in authenticity. Those who wear a mask of goodness are playing a part, manipulating perceptions to cast themselves in a favourable light, while hiding their real intentions.

Unmasking these tactics can give us insight into their behaviour, helping us to recognise and navigate it.

In this article, we’ll uncover the 8 common tactics that these individuals typically use. I promise you, it’s going to be an eye-opener.

1) False humility

We’ve all met someone who seems to embody goodness, always deflecting praise and insisting they’re no better than anyone else. But sometimes, this act of humility is just that – an act.

False humility is a deceptive tactic often used by individuals who wear a mask of goodness. It’s a way to appear down-to-earth and relatable, while also fishing for compliments and affirmations.

They tend to downplay their achievements, not out of genuine modesty, but to prompt others to recognize their accomplishments instead. This way, they not only get the recognition they crave but also maintain the guise of being humble.

It’s a manipulative tactic that can be tough to spot at first glance. But understanding it can make you more alert to the hidden motives behind their self-deprecation.

Remember, true humility doesn’t need to shout about its existence. It simply is.

2) Guilt-tripping

Let me share a story. A while back, I had a friend who was always playing the victim. Whenever things didn’t go his way, he would take on the role of the martyr, making it seem like the universe was conspiring against him.

From missed deadlines to failed relationships, everything was always someone else’s fault. And if you didn’t support him wholeheartedly, he’d make you feel guilty for not being “a good enough friend”.

This tactic, my friends, is guilt-tripping. People who wear a mask of goodness often use guilt as a weapon to manipulate others into doing what they want. They prey on your sympathies and make you feel bad for not meeting their expectations.

It took me a while to see through his tactics but when I did, I realized how manipulative he was being. It’s not easy to spot guilt-tripping at first, but once you do, it’s hard to ignore.

3) Empty promises

Ever heard of the term “lip service”? It refers to insincere agreement or respect expressed but not acted upon. And it’s a tactic often used by those who wear a mask of goodness.

These individuals are great at making grand promises that sound appealing. They’ve mastered the art of saying what you want to hear, creating a mirage of goodwill and trustworthiness. But when it’s time to deliver, they’re nowhere to be found.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who frequently make empty promises are seen as less trustworthy over time. So while this tactic may work in the short term, it often backfires in the long run.

Beware of those who promise more than they can deliver. Actions, after all, speak louder than words.

4) Excessive flattery

Compliments are lovely, aren’t they? They can make us feel good about ourselves, boost our confidence, and brighten our day. But when someone is constantly showering you with praise, it might be time to question their intentions.

Those who wear a mask of goodness often use excessive flattery as a deceptive tactic. Their compliments may seem sincere on the surface, but beneath it all, they’re just trying to win you over.

By making you feel good about yourself, they’re hoping to gain your trust and favour. This way, you’re more likely to agree with them or do what they want.

So next time someone is overly complimentary, ask yourself if their praise feels genuine or if it’s just a means to an end. Remember, flattery is a powerful tool in the wrong hands.

5) Feigned empathy

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – is a beautiful human quality. It’s what connects us, allows us to support each other, and makes us feel seen and understood.

However, some individuals who wear a mask of goodness use feigned empathy as a deceptive tactic. They pretend to care about your feelings and experiences, not because they truly do, but because it helps them appear kind and considerate.

This can be particularly hurtful. We open up to them, thinking they genuinely care, only to find out that our vulnerability was exploited for their gain.

It’s crucial to remember that real empathy doesn’t come with strings attached. Genuine empathy is selfless and sincere, not a means to a manipulative end. Protect your heart, dear readers, and don’t let it be fooled by those who only pretend to care.

6) Victim blaming

I’ll never forget an encounter I had a few years ago. I confided in someone I thought was a friend about a rough patch I was going through. Instead of support, I was met with accusations and blame.

They twisted the situation and somehow made it my fault, suggesting that the problems I was facing were a result of my own actions or lack thereof. This is a classic case of victim blaming, and it’s a tactic often used by those who wear a mask of goodness.

The aim is to deflect blame away from themselves and onto others. By making you feel like you’re at fault, they maintain their image of innocence and righteousness.

Being on the receiving end can be incredibly disheartening. Yet, it’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and no one deserves to be blamed for their misfortunes. Make sure to surround yourself with people who offer support and understanding, not blame and criticism.

7) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where a person makes someone else question their reality, memory or perceptions. It’s a term that originated from the 1944 film “Gaslight” where a husband manipulates his wife into believing that she’s going insane.

Those who wear a mask of goodness often use gaslighting to maintain their facade. They deny their wrongdoings, twist the truth, and manipulate facts to make you question your sanity or memory.

Statements like “You’re overreacting” or “That never happened” are common indicators of gaslighting. The goal is to destabilize your confidence in your own perception, making it easier for them to control and manipulate you.

Remember, trust your instincts and don’t let others shake your belief in your own experiences and perceptions. You know your truth, don’t let anyone else distort it.

8) Playing the hero

The most important thing you should know about people who wear a mask of goodness is that they often play the hero. They present themselves as the savior, always ready to help, always there to save the day.

However, this heroism usually has an ulterior motive. It’s a way for them to gain approval, admiration, and control. They create situations where they can come in and ‘rescue’ you, putting you in a position of gratitude and dependency.

Don’t be fooled by the heroic facade. True heroes don’t need recognition or control. They help because they genuinely want to, not because they want something in return.

Final thoughts: It’s about awareness

The complexities of human behavior are vast and intricate. When it comes to people who wear a mask of goodness, the interplay of psychological and emotional factors is profound.

Understanding these deceptive tactics is not about painting people with a broad stroke of negativity, nor is it about fostering a paranoid mindset.

Instead, it’s about awareness. It’s about recognizing these behaviors, not only in others but also in ourselves.

The renowned American psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This speaks volumes to our topic.

We are all flawed, we all have our masks. Recognizing and acknowledging them is the first step towards growth and authenticity.

So, as you navigate your interactions, remember these tactics, be mindful, but most importantly, be kind. We are all on our unique journeys of self-discovery and growth.