There’s a vast difference between seeing yourself in high regard and acting out of self-sabotage.

The difference lies in behavior. Self-sabotage is when you’re unconsciously doing things that hinder your success, all while hiding this fact from yourself.

In contrast, valuing oneself highly involves conscious decisions that foster growth and personal development.

People who value themselves highly know which behaviors to avoid. They understand that self-sabotage can be subtle, and they’re aware of the signs.

This article will discuss the 9 self-sabotaging behaviors people who value themselves highly never display.

1) Procrastination

An area where valuing yourself highly truly shines is in the realm of productivity.

People who see their worth understand the value of time and won’t let it slip away aimlessly.

Enter the world of procrastination – a classic self-sabotaging behavior.

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions. It’s a trap into which many fall, often without realizing its harmful impact on their success and wellbeing.

Consider this. It’s the reason behind every unfulfilled resolution, each postponed task, and that constant feeling of being overwhelmed.

When faced with tasks or decisions, people who value themselves highly won’t let procrastination creep in. They take charge immediately, knowing well that postponing often leads to unnecessary stress and reduced performance.

Thus, if you value yourself highly, you’ll acknowledge the cost of procrastination and choose to act promptly.

But remember, it’s a conscious choice that requires constant vigilance to maintain.

2) Self-doubt

Having high self-esteem doesn’t mean you won’t face moments of self-doubt, but you certainly won’t let it control your actions.

Let me share a personal story to illustrate this.

A few years back, I was offered an opportunity to lead a major project at my workplace. Despite my years of experience and proven track record, I found myself questioning my abilities. Was I really capable of handling such a massive responsibility? Was I setting myself up for failure?

This is a classic case of self-doubt, a self-sabotaging behavior that can seriously hinder personal growth.

But here’s the thing. People who value themselves highly, like I strive to, acknowledge these feelings but don’t let them dictate their actions. They understand that self-doubt is a natural human reaction, not an accurate reflection of their abilities.

So, despite the nagging uncertainty, I chose to accept the project. And guess what? It turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my career.

The lesson here? Value yourself highly enough to trust in your abilities, even when self-doubt tries to tell you otherwise.

3) Neglecting self-care

One might assume that being busy and constantly on-the-go is a sign of productivity and success. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

In the world of high-performance athletes, rest and recovery are considered just as important as training. It’s well-documented that neglecting to properly rest and recover can lead to subpar performance, injury, and burnout.

Similarly, in our daily lives, neglecting self-care is a harmful habit that many fall into. This can include skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, or not setting aside time for relaxation and hobbies.

People who value themselves highly are aware of this. They understand that taking care of their mental and physical health is paramount to their overall success and wellbeing.

They know that just like a car cannot run without fuel, they cannot perform at their best without proper self-care. Hence, they make it a non-negotiable part of their routine.

4) Perfectionism

The pursuit of excellence is commendable. However, when it morphs into an obsessive desire for perfection, it becomes a roadblock to success.

Perfectionism, in its essence, is a fear of making mistakes. It’s the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This mindset can lead to excessive stress, burnout, and even paralysis by analysis – where one becomes so overwhelmed by the fear of making a mistake that they end up doing nothing at all.

People who value themselves highly recognize this pitfall. They understand that mistakes are not only inevitable but also valuable learning opportunities. They strive for excellence but accept that they are humans and not machines.

Instead of being paralyzed by the need for perfection, they take action, learn from their mistakes, and continually strive for improvement. This approach fosters growth and progress rather than hindering it.

5) Negative self-talk

We all have an internal dialogue that runs constantly in our minds. Unfortunately, for many of us, this dialogue can often be overly critical and negative.

Negative self-talk is a common self-sabotaging behavior. It’s when you belittle yourself, constantly focus on your flaws, and downplay your achievements. This destructive habit can significantly impact your self-esteem and overall mental health.

On the other hand, people who value themselves highly have mastered the art of positive self-talk. They speak to themselves with kindness and encouragement, acknowledging their strengths and accomplishments.

They understand that the way they talk to themselves shapes their perception of themselves and their capabilities. By maintaining a positive internal dialogue, they foster self-confidence and resilience, empowering themselves to face challenges head-on.

6) Avoiding difficult conversations

Life is filled with moments that require difficult conversations. Whether it’s addressing a problem in a relationship, asking for a raise, or setting boundaries, these discussions can be challenging to navigate.

However, avoiding these conversations is a self-sabotaging behavior. It can lead to unresolved issues, strained relationships, and missed opportunities.

People who value themselves highly understand the importance of these difficult discussions. They recognize that their feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard.

They approach these conversations with courage and respect, choosing to face potential discomfort over the long-term damage of avoidance.

Because at the end of the day, they know that their value isn’t diminished by having tough conversations. In fact, it’s only reinforced by their willingness to stand up for themselves and their needs.

7) Giving up after failure

Failure can be a bitter pill to swallow. It can make you question your abilities and even your worth.

I remember when I first started painting. I was excited, full of ideas and enthusiasm. But the first few attempts were nothing short of disastrous. The images in my head didn’t translate onto the canvas, and I was left feeling deflated.

This is where many might give up – a classic self-sabotaging behavior. The fear of failure or the disappointment of a failed attempt can make it tempting to throw in the towel.

But people who value themselves highly see failure differently. They view it as a stepping stone rather than a roadblock. They know that success is rarely a straight path and that failure is often a necessary part of the journey.

So, despite my early disappointments, I kept painting. With each failed attempt, I learned something new, improved my technique, and grew more confident. Today, painting is one of my most cherished hobbies.

Remember, every time you get back up after a fall, you’re proving to yourself just how much you’re capable of.

8) Comparing oneself to others

In today’s digital age, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Social media platforms are filled with highlight reels, creating an illusion of perfect lives.

Comparing oneself to others is a self-sabotaging behavior that can lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and even depression. It’s an unfair comparison, as we often compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

People who value themselves highly avoid this behavior. They understand that everyone has their own path and pace in life. They focus on their own journey, celebrating their progress and achievements instead of measuring them against others.

They know that the only comparison worth making is with who they were yesterday and who they aspire to be tomorrow. This mindset fosters self-improvement, contentment, and appreciation for one’s own unique journey.

9) Ignoring intuition

Intuition is a powerful guide. It’s that gut feeling that often knows what’s best for us, even when our logical mind might suggest otherwise.

Ignoring intuition is a self-sabotaging habit. It can lead us down paths that are not in alignment with our true selves or serve our best interests.

People who value themselves highly respect and listen to their intuition. They understand that this inner voice is an integral part of who they are. It’s a compass guiding them towards decisions and actions that reflect their true values and aspirations.

So, trust your intuition. It’s a sincere reflection of who you are and what you truly desire in life.

Final reflection: It’s a journey

The journey of self-improvement and personal growth is an ongoing process, deeply entwined with our attitudes and behaviors.

A fundamental part of this journey is the recognition of our inherent worth. When we value ourselves highly, we naturally steer clear of self-sabotaging behaviors. We make choices that foster growth, resilience, and inner peace.

It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect. We all have moments of self-doubt, fear, and failure. But it’s how we respond to these moments that truly defines us.

The American actress and singer Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

This quote beautifully encapsulates the essence of valuing oneself. It’s about embracing our unique qualities, learning from our mistakes, and continually striving to become the best versions of ourselves.

So as you reflect on these nine behaviors, remember that you are in charge of your own journey. Every step you take towards valuing yourself more highly is a step towards a more fulfilling and successful life.