People who try too hard to be liked usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | September 10, 2024, 4:17 pm

We all want to be liked, it’s human nature. But sometimes in our quest for acceptance, we can end up trying a little too hard.

When we push too hard to be liked, it can often result in displaying certain behaviors that are counterproductive. Ironically, these behaviors can sometimes make us less likeable rather than more.

Being aware of these behaviors is the first step towards avoiding them. So here are eight common behaviors that people who try too hard to be liked usually display without even realizing it.

1) Overagreeing

We’ve all met those people who seem to agree with everything anyone says. It’s almost as if they don’t have any opinions of their own.

This behavior often stems from a deep-seated desire to be liked. They think that by agreeing with everyone, they’ll avoid conflict and people will like them more.

But here’s the thing. It’s okay to have your own opinions. In fact, it’s healthy. Disagreements and debates can stimulate conversation, promote growth, and actually make you more interesting.

So, if you find yourself constantly agreeing with everyone, just to be liked, stop and ask yourself why. Are you genuinely agreeing or simply trying to please others?

Remember, people respect authenticity. So be true to yourself and your beliefs. You might be surprised at the positive response you receive.

2) Over-apologizing

I remember a time in my life when I used to apologize for everything. Even when it wasn’t my fault. I would be the first to say sorry just to keep the peace and make sure everyone liked me.

Over-apologizing is a common behavior in people who try too hard to be liked. It’s as if they believe that by constantly apologizing, they’re showing their considerate and thoughtful nature.

But what they don’t realize is that excessive apologizing can actually make them seem insecure and unsure of themselves, which can sometimes lead to others taking advantage of them.

With time, I realized that while it’s crucial to own up and apologize when you’re wrong, unnecessary apologies can diminish your self-worth. It’s important to stand your ground when you’re right and not feel guilty about it.

So, if you find yourself constantly saying sorry, take a step back. Evaluate if an apology is really needed or if you are just trying to win approval.

3) Constant people-pleasing

This one is a classic. People who strive too hard to be liked often find themselves in a never-ending cycle of people-pleasing. They’ll go out of their way, sometimes even compromising their own needs and desires, just to make others happy.

But here’s something intriguing. Research shows that people-pleasers often experience higher levels of stress and burnout. This is because they spend so much energy trying to meet everyone else’s needs, they often neglect their own.

So, it’s vital to strike a balance. Of course, it’s great to be considerate and helpful, but not at the expense of your own wellbeing. Remember, it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. And that’s perfectly okay.

4) Seeking constant validation

Have you ever noticed someone who constantly seeks validation for even the smallest things? This can be a clear sign of someone trying too hard to be liked.

They often look for reassurance and approval from others to affirm their worth. They might frequently fish for compliments or excessively worry about what others think of them.

The thing is, while it’s normal to seek feedback and affirmation from time to time, relying on others for your self-worth can lead to anxiety and low self-esteem.

So, if you find yourself constantly seeking validation, it’s important to remember that your worth is not dependent on others’ opinions. Learn to trust your instincts and appreciate your own value. After all, the person whose opinion matters most is you.

5) Hiding true feelings

It’s heartbreaking to see people hide their true feelings in an attempt to be liked. They may put on a happy facade, even when they’re feeling down, just to maintain a certain image.

This behavior is not only mentally exhausting, but it also prevents genuine connections. After all, true friendships are built on honesty and vulnerability.

If you find yourself hiding your true feelings, remember that it’s okay to let your guard down. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Sharing these emotions doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.

And trust me, people are more likely to connect with someone who is real and authentic than someone who is always pretending to be okay.

6) Avoiding confrontation

There was a time when I would go to great lengths to avoid any form of confrontation. I thought that by avoiding disagreements, I was keeping the peace and ensuring people would continue to like me.

What I didn’t realize was that by doing this, I was sometimes letting my own needs and feelings go unheard. Avoiding confrontation may seem like the easy way out, but it can often lead to resentment and unaddressed issues.

If you’re like how I used to be, remember that it’s okay to voice your concerns and stand up for yourself. Healthy confrontation can lead to better understanding, stronger relationships, and personal growth. And most importantly, it helps you stay true to yourself.

7) Overextending themselves

Ever noticed someone who always seems to be doing too much, yet never says no? This can be a sign of someone trying too hard to be liked. They often overextend themselves, taking on more than they can handle in an attempt to please others.

While it’s admirable to want to help and be involved, it’s also important to know your limits. Overextending yourself can lead to stress, burnout, and even resentment.

So, if you find yourself in this situation, remember that it’s okay to say no. Your time and energy are valuable. It’s better to do a few things well than many things half-heartedly. And the people who truly like and respect you will understand.

8) Changing themselves

The most concerning behavior is when people try to change who they are just to fit in or be liked. They may adopt different interests, behaviors, or even values, just to align with those around them.

But here’s the thing. You should never have to change who you are for others to like you. Your individuality is what makes you unique and special. The right people will appreciate and like you for who you are, not who they want you to be.

So stay true to yourself. Embrace your quirks, interests, and values. They’re what make you, you. And that’s something worth liking.