I’ve always believed you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat waitstaff.

There’s something revealing about the way someone navigates an interaction with the people who bring them their food.

Is it a quick smile or a dismissive wave? A kind “thank you” or an impatient demand?

The truth is, there’s a huge difference between confidence and condescension.

And those who treat restaurant staff as lesser beings often wear their personalities on their sleeve, whether they realize it or not.

Let’s explore nine traits these individuals display.

These traits can help us understand what lies beneath the surface—and maybe we can remind ourselves why respect isn’t just a courtesy, it’s a reflection of who we are.

1) Disregard for empathy

It’s interesting how much you can learn about a person based on how they treat restaurant staff.

Psychology tells us that empathy, or the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a basic component of human interaction.

It’s what makes us relate to others and treat them with kindness.

Now consider those who treat waitstaff as though they’re beneath them.

These individuals often show a disregard for empathy. They seem to lack the ability to put themselves in the server’s shoes.

Instead of considering the effort and hard work that goes into serving, they focus only on their needs and desires. This disregard for empathy is the first trait that these individuals typically display.

2) Self-centeredness

I’ve seen this firsthand, and it’s a trait that’s hard to miss.

A few years ago, I was dining with a friend at a local diner.

The waitress was clearly new, a bit flustered but doing her best to manage the busy lunch hour.

Despite her efforts, my friend was less than understanding.

He complained about the slow service, the temperature of his coffee, and even the way his sandwich was cut.

Never once did he consider the pressure she might be under or how his complaints might affect her. It was clear that in his mind, his needs were paramount.

This self-centeredness is another common trait among those who treat restaurant workers as if they’re beneath them.

They focus solely on their experience, their needs, and their satisfaction, with little to no consideration for the person working hard to provide them with service.

3) Superiority complex

A superiority complex is a psychological defense mechanism that compensates for an inferiority complex.

The term was coined by Alfred Adler, an associate of Sigmund Freud.

People with a superiority complex often believe they are better than others. They may present themselves as being more knowledgeable, more skilled, or generally more important.

This complex often extends to how they treat restaurant staff.

In a dining context, a person with a superiority complex may treat waitstaff as inferiors, believing that their position or status gives them a right to do so.

This power dynamic allows them to feel important and validated in their perceived superiority.

4) Lack of gratitude

A simple “thank you” can go a long way, especially in the service industry.

However, those who treat restaurant workers as if they’re beneath them often lack this fundamental expression of gratitude.

Instead of acknowledging the effort and dedication of the staff, they may take their service for granted.

They might not realize or may choose to ignore the fact that these workers are on their feet for long hours, often under stressful conditions, all to ensure a pleasant dining experience.

This lack of gratitude is another common trait among those who disrespect restaurant workers.

It reflects an inability to appreciate the hard work of others and a tendency to focus solely on their own needs and wants.

5) Impatient and demanding

Patience, as they say, is a virtue. But it’s a virtue often missing in those who demean restaurant staff.

These individuals tend to be overly demanding and impatient.

They expect services to be rendered instantly and perfectly, regardless of how busy the restaurant might be or the unavoidable human errors that can occur.

This impatience and demanding nature can put unnecessary pressure on the restaurant staff, leading to a stressful environment.

It’s another trait that reflects a lack of understanding and respect for the work and effort that goes into providing good service.

6) Lack of basic courtesy

We’ve all heard the saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated.”

It’s a simple yet profound principle that applies to every human interaction, including our interactions with waitstaff.

However, some people seem to forget this when they enter a restaurant.

They might snap their fingers to get the waiter’s attention, speak rudely or condescendingly, or leave a mess behind.

These actions reflect a lack of basic courtesy.

This isn’t just about manners or etiquette; it’s about human dignity. Every person deserves respect and kindness, regardless of their job.

When we forget this, we’re not just being rude – we’re undermining the very fabric of our shared humanity.

7) Inability to handle mistakes

Mistakes are a part of life. They’re how we learn and grow.

I remember once, I accidentally spilled a glass of wine at a restaurant. I was mortified.

But the waiter was kind, quickly cleaning up the mess and reassuring me that it happens all the time.

Contrast this with individuals who belittle restaurant workers. A small mistake, like a mixed-up order or a forgotten side dish, can lead to an overblown reaction.

These people may become angry, berate the waiter, or even demand to see the manager.

This inability to handle mistakes with grace and understanding is another trait common among those who demean waitstaff.

It shows a lack of perspective and an inability to empathize with others’ mistakes.

8) Entitlement

Entitlement is a belief that one is inherently deserving of certain privileges or special treatment.

And it’s a trait that often rears its head in the way some people treat restaurant staff.

These individuals may believe that they have a right to demand immediate service, special accommodations, or unwarranted discounts.

They might feel that the rules don’t apply to them or that their needs should always take precedence over others.

This sense of entitlement is not just disrespectful to the restaurant staff; it also creates an uncomfortable atmosphere for other diners.

It’s a trait that speaks volumes about a person’s character and their view of the world around them.

9) Absence of kindness

Kindness is the cornerstone of any human interaction. It’s the ability to be friendly, generous, and considerate.

However, those who belittle restaurant workers often lack this fundamental trait.

From snapping at the waiter to leaving a meager tip, their actions often reflect an absence of kindness.

And this absence speaks louder than any words. After all, how we treat those who serve us says more about us than it does about them.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, how we treat others—especially those working tirelessly in service roles—speaks louder than our resumes or social media bios ever could.

Respect hides in the simple acts, like saying “thank you” or making eye contact.

Maslow said it well: if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Maybe those who belittle waitstaff are stuck seeing the world through a lens of superiority, forgetting that dignity doesn’t have a job title.

So next time you’re dining out, take a moment. Offer a smile, a kind word, or a little extra tip.

Not because it’s expected, but because it’s human.

After all, the true measure of character isn’t in how we treat the powerful—it’s in how we treat the people who serve us.