People who struggle with being alone often display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | October 28, 2024, 7:02 pm

Being comfortable with your own company isn’t always easy. Some people find it challenging to be alone, often without even realizing it.

The telltale signs are there, in certain behaviors that seem harmless but are actually cries for companionship.

These behaviors might not be obvious to the person doing them. But when you understand what to look for, the pattern starts to emerge.

In this article, I’ll reveal seven behaviors often displayed by people who struggle with being alone – even when they don’t realize they’re doing it.

1) Overbooking their schedule

A full calendar can be a sign of a busy, successful life. But sometimes, it’s also a red flag for those uncomfortable with their own company.

People who struggle with being alone often overbooked themselves. They subconsciously fear that downtime might equate to loneliness, so they ensure every moment is occupied.

This behavior is typically driven by an underlying discomfort when left alone with their thoughts. They might not even realize they’re doing it; they simply feel compelled to stay active and engaged.

Constant activity without adequate time for relaxation and introspection can lead to burnout. Recognizing this behavior is the first step towards addressing the fear of being alone and finding balance in life.

2) Constantly seeking validation

I remember a time when I couldn’t make a decision without asking for others’ opinions. Be it choosing a restaurant or picking a movie, I always sought validation from friends and family.

This need for constant approval is another behavior often exhibited by those who struggle with solitude. They may find it hard to trust their own judgment, hence the constant need for reassurance.

It took me some time to realize that this was more than just indecisiveness. It was my discomfort with being alone, leading to an over-dependence on others for affirmation.

Once I understood this, I started consciously working on becoming comfortable with my own decisions. It’s a journey, but it’s worth it. Now I can enjoy my own company and trust in my own choices.

3) Difficulty in sleeping alone

People tend to sleep better when they share their bed with a partner. This can explain why some people who struggle with solitude might find it hard to sleep alone.

They may leave the TV or radio on to mimic the presence of someone else, or they might find reasons to stay up late, delaying the moment they have to go to bed alone.

It’s not just about fearing the dark or monsters under the bed; it’s about missing the reassuring presence of someone else. Recognizing this behavior can be a step towards finding ways to feel more comfortable when alone, especially during nighttime.

4) Always on social media

In this digital age, social media can be a lifeline for those who struggle with being alone. They might find themselves constantly scrolling through feeds, reacting to posts, or starting conversations in the comments.

These platforms can feel like a bustling room full of people, offering a sense of connectedness even when physically alone. It’s an easy way to distract from the quiet around them.

However, excessive use of social media can lead to a different kind of loneliness – one that stems from comparing one’s life to the highlight reels of others. It’s important to strike a balance and cultivate offline connections and hobbies too.

5) Struggling with quiet moments

I remember sitting in my living room one evening, with no music, no TV, just silence. And it felt…overwhelming. The quietness was too loud, the solitude too intense.

This is a common behavior for those who aren’t comfortable being alone. They might feel an unease during quiet moments, finding the silence deafening rather than soothing.

They may fill these gaps with noise – music, podcasts, or TV shows playing in the background. But learning to embrace silence can be incredibly freeing. It can lead to self-reflection, creativity and a deeper understanding of one’s self.

6) Rarely saying no to social invitations

Have you ever met someone who never turns down an invite? They might have an inherent fear of missing out (FOMO). Be it a movie night, a casual hangout, or a party, they are always in.

This could be a sign that they’re uncomfortable with being alone. They might fear missing out or dread the thought of spending time by themselves.

While it’s great to be socially active and maintain a strong network of friends, it’s equally important to carve out some ‘me time’.

It allows for introspection, and relaxation and can boost mental health.

7) Rarely indulging in solo activities

Engaging in solo activities is a powerful way to cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself. It can help build confidence and boost self-awareness.

People who struggle with being alone might rarely indulge in these activities. They might avoid going to the movies alone, dining out by themselves, or even taking a solo trip.

But here’s the thing: Embracing solitude doesn’t mean becoming a hermit. It simply means being comfortable with and enjoying your own company.

It’s about finding the joy in doing things alone and not seeing it as a sign of loneliness but as an opportunity for self-discovery.

Finding strength in solitude

Being comfortable with your own company is a powerful skill, but it’s one that many struggle with, often without even realizing it.

The behaviors discussed—like overbooking schedules, seeking constant validation, or avoiding solo activities—reveal a deeper discomfort with solitude.

The key takeaway?

It’s okay to feel uneasy being alone at times, but self-awareness is the first step toward embracing solitude. By recognizing these behaviors, you can start shifting your mindset, learning to enjoy quiet moments, and finding fulfillment in solo experiences.

As the saying goes, “Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace.”

Becoming comfortable in your own company can lead to personal growth, self-discovery, and ultimately, a deeper connection with yourself.