The mundane drudgery of life tends to get a bad wrap. 

We think of our day-to-day lives as nothing spectacular, and dare I say, even boring. 

But many of us who live in the Western world don’t realize how lucky we are.

In the words of one Quora user, we wake up in the morning, brush our teeth, and choose our morning drink. Then we choose what we’re going to eat. 

We go to the job that we choose to go to. 

If we’re too tired to cook, we can choose to order out and call it a day. 

When I think of what’s going on in the world —especially in the Middle East—it couldn’t be more clear that not everybody is privileged to have the luxury of exercising their choices. 

Many of us also don’t have to actively worry about where our next meal will come from, that we may not have shelter tomorrow, or that we could be killed at any moment. 

I find that people who are grateful for life’s small joys and simple pleasures take this to heart. They also tend to have a few common behaviors.

Here are five of them. 

1) They’re well aware of how unpredictable life can be

As I write this, I am thinking about a cousin of mine in Europe. Just days ago, she lost her battle with cancer. She was only 50. I’m still in shock about it. 

My cousin was a much-loved and favorite member of my extended family. I would see her every few years at a wedding or other get-together. She was a riot: the life of the party. She was bossy, often blunt, but ferociously loving and caring. And her sense of humor was off the charts. She had a sarcastic wit inherited from our grandmother and she would have everyone in stitches. 

When I spoke to her on the phone around Christmas, she seemed to slowly be getting better. The medication she was on was working and some tests had just come back clear. 

She told me she wanted me to write an article about everything she had been through the past four years. We come from a culture that doesn’t openly talk about cancer and she wanted to help change the stigma in the community. 

Losing my beloved cousin has hit home the fact of how truly unpredictable life can be. Life feels so surreal to me right now because I can’t imagine a world without her larger-than-life personality. 

Her passing has reminded me to be grateful for everything I have, even all the annoyances of day-to-day life. 

Because life can change on a dime.

I think a lot about how I got to have one last conversation with my cousin mere weeks before her passing. That was truly a blessing. 

2) They have something called “situational awareness”

Very early yesterday morning, I drove my mom to another city for an appointment she had. 

The city we were driving to has an escarpment so the upper geographical region is often referred to as “The Mountain”. The view is breathtaking as you drive along the highway. 

The drive was about an hour and I have to admit that for most of it, I was on autopilot (I’m not a morning person). 

It wasn’t until my mother mentioned how beautiful the sunrise looked on the horizon peeking out from the edge of “The Mountain,” that I snapped back into the present. 

The view was indeed stunning and I would have completely missed it had my mother not pointed it out to me. 

Experts say that in order to be fully engaged with the present moment that we have to be more situationally aware. 

“By being situationally aware, you’re cognizant and continually aware of your surroundings at any given moment,” says the team at Advanced Tactical Resources (ATR). 

Living on autopilot makes us miss out on the “small” wonders of life just as I almost did with the sunrise.

My mom has a habit of noticing all these seemingly small things. She gets excited about a red cardinal that she regularly sees at the bird feeder, for example. 

One major aspect of situational awareness is to be mindful, say the staff at ATR. 

“Practice being ‘in the moment.’ When you are cognizant of your surroundings, your senses are fully engaged. You can hear, smell, and see everything and react a lot quicker.’”

And you won’t be living your life on autopilot as much. 

3) They are centered and don’t need “big” things to make them happy (even if they have a “big” life)

Last September, I had the pleasure of interviewing Alia Bhatt, one of the most successful actresses in India. 

Bhatt made her Hollywood debut last summer in the Netflix film, Heart of Stone, opposite Gal Gadot, and she was named the brand ambassador for Gucci last year as well. 

Bhatt comes from a movie background: her father is veteran director Mahesh Bhatt and her mother Soni Razdan is longtime actress. Her half-sister Pooja Bhatt was popular in the 1990s for her romantic-comedy roles. 

In our conversation, Bhatt related to me that she is very much aware of the privilege she had when she entered the industry. 

“My parents struggled to get to a point where I could enjoy their privilege,” she told me. 

“If, tomorrow, I don’t do well and I stop getting films, I’ll still always acknowledge the fact that I got such great opportunities, so I can never really complain.”

Yes, Bhatt has a “big” life, but I think she knows that the big stuff doesn’t define her life. She knows that if everything was taken away from her in one moment, that she would be okay; that she would figure it out and find a way to be happy. 

4) They feel the need to nurture their relationships 

For most people, the small joys in life tend to come from those who are closest to them. 

That’s because they feel that tending to their relationships is a form of self-care, author, professor, and “zen priest” Robert Waldinger tells The Harvard Gazette.

“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives,”

adds Liz Mineo from The Harvard Gazette citing a study that Waldinger conducted. 

“Those ties protect people from life’s discontent, help to delay mental and physical decline, are are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”

People who appreciate the small joys in life do things like revel in a child’s laugh, the heart-to-heart they had with a dear friend, and the way their beloved’s eyes crinkle when they smile.

5) They also know that their happiness is in their hands

Back in 2018, things seemed pretty bleak in journalist Hannah Jane Parkinson’s world. 

It was at this time that she started writing a column for The Guardian on the small things that give her joy.

Here is an excerpt I love because I feel exactly the same way:

“Tea features large in my own joy in small things,” she says. “The first two cups of tea in the morning help wake me up and get me started for the day. Nothing can replace that for giving me the joy of waking up to another day.”

She also mentions her other joy: “One’s own bed. Going to bed in a bed with newly changed sheets and pillowcases smelling clean and fresh and well-tucked in, but when waking up next morning and realizing that here is another day, and you can still get out of bed under your own steam. What can be more joyful!”

She goes on: 

“How lovely it is to go away and investigate new places and new experiences, but what a joy to come back to your own home with everything in its right place in the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom.”

“You know where everything is without having to think about it. And then on your return there is the joy of a cup of tea made just as you like it.”

Remember: there are small joys all around you all the time. All you have to do is open up your awareness to them.