People who seem extremely confident but are secretly insecure often display these specific behaviors

Ever met someone who shines like a star? Someone who just seems to own every room they walk into?
But guess what? Sometimes, these super confident folks could actually be hiding a secret. They could be hiding a lot of insecurity inside, though they may present a confident front to the world.
In this article, we’re going to spill the beans on some telltale signs that someone might not be as confident as they come off.
Let’s dive in!
1) They’re often perfectionists
You know those people who never seem satisfied with ‘good enough’?
Yep, we’re talking about perfectionists.
This may sound like a great quality, but it often masks deep insecurity. They may fear that any small mistake could expose them as frauds. So they go the extra mile, every time, to make sure everything is just perfect.
But nobody’s perfect, and striving for perfection all the time can be pretty exhausting.
2) They want to control everything
Control freaks, as the name indicates, are the people who feel the need to control every little thing.
They might come off as simply being super organized or thorough. But quite often, this obsessive need to control is rooted in fear. Fear of what might happen if they just let go and let things be.
It’s their way of dealing with insecurity – by trying to control everything around them.
3) They talk a lot, especially about themselves
Ever caught yourself talking a lot, especially about yourself when you’re in a group? I have.
I used to think it was because I’m an extrovert. But then I realized, it’s often because I’m feeling insecure and trying to prove myself.
In those moments, I’d find myself dominating the conversation, sharing my achievements, or funny anecdotes to make myself look good. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s something I’ve noticed in myself and others who seem super confident but are actually battling insecurities.
It’s like we’re trying to validate ourselves by seeking approval or admiration from others. The reality is, true confidence comes from within, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
4) They’re always busy
Ever notice how some people are always on the go, juggling a million things at once?
It’s as if they’ve got an endless supply of energy.
But here’s an interesting fact – a study found that people who are always “busy” might be using it as a way to cope with their insecurities.
You see, being constantly busy can create an illusion of importance and success. It can make people feel valued and needed, masking any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity they might have. But deep down, they might be struggling with self-doubt and fear.
It’s okay to take a break. Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re any less successful or important.
5) They avoid showing vulnerability
We all have moments of weakness, right? It’s part of being human. But some people seem to never let their guard down. It’s as if they’re wearing an armor of confidence to shield themselves from the world.
Behind this armor, they might be feeling insecure, afraid that showing any sign of vulnerability could make them appear weak or less capable. It’s a tough shell to crack because it requires immense bravery to expose one’s vulnerabilities.
Here’s the heartfelt truth – vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of courage. It shows that you’re real, that you’re human. And there’s nothing more beautiful than embracing your true self, insecurities and all.
6) They’re people pleasers
Ever had that friend who always goes above and beyond for everyone? I’ve been that friend. I used to think it was just because I’m a nice person. But then I realized, it was more about me trying to make people like me.
I was so focused on pleasing others, making sure they were happy, that I often forgot about my own needs. It was like I was seeking validation from others because deep down, I was insecure about myself.
Over time, I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no sometimes, and that you don’t have to please everyone all the time. True confidence comes from being comfortable with who you are, not who others want you to be.
7) They’re constantly comparing themselves to others
Let’s get real for a minute. We all do it. We look at someone else’s life – their job, their looks, their success – and we compare it to our own. It’s as if we’re in some kind of life competition.
People who seem super confident but are secretly insecure often live in this comparison trap. They’re constantly looking at others and measuring their own worth against them. It’s a tough place to be in, because there will always be someone who seems to have more or do more.
Comparison is the thief of joy. You’re not in competition with anyone else. Life is not a race. The only person you should strive to be better than is the one you were yesterday.
8) They rarely ask for help
It might seem like they’re just super capable and independent. But often, there’s more to the story.
People who are insecure often avoid asking for help because they fear it may make them appear incompetent or weak.
This fear of not seeming capable enough can drive them to take on more than they can handle, just to prove that they can do it all.
Asking for help when you need it is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. It shows that you’re self-aware and understand your limitations.
9) They avoid deep, meaningful connections
Here’s a confession. I used to avoid getting too close to people. Not because I didn’t like them, but because I was scared. Scared of being truly seen, of letting someone get close enough to see my insecurities.
I’d keep conversations light and surface-level, avoiding anything too personal or deep. It was my way of protecting myself from judgment and criticism.
But over time, I realized that by doing this, I was also missing out on forming deep, meaningful connections.
True confidence is embracing them and being comfortable with who you are, flaws and all. And the beauty of real connection comes when you allow yourself to be truly seen.
10) They’re always seeking validation
Let’s be brutally honest. Those people who always seem to need compliments or affirmation?
They crave that pat on the back, that ‘well done’, because they don’t believe in their own worth.
They look to others to fill this void, to tell them they’re good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.
But the harsh truth is, no amount of external validation can make up for a lack of self-belief. True confidence comes from within.