People who raise spoiled and self-entitled children typically display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | December 16, 2024, 3:03 pm

Imagine this: your child throws a tantrum in the middle of the store, demanding a new toy. Embarrassed, you give in, hoping to avoid a scene.

While this might seem like a one-time event, it could be part of a larger pattern that fosters entitlement.

Many parents unknowingly contribute to their child’s spoiled behavior by engaging in similar acts of immediate appeasement.

These everyday actions, though well-intentioned, can create lasting attitudes of self-importance and entitlement.

Let’s explore seven behaviors parents might be displaying without even realizing it—and how to stop the cycle.

1) Consistently giving in to demands

One of the most common behaviors parents display when raising spoiled and self-entitled children is consistently giving in to their demands.

This behavior can stem from a variety of reasons such as wanting to avoid conflict, guilt, or simply wanting to provide the child with everything they desire.

However, this kind of parenting approach can inadvertently lead to the child developing a sense of entitlement.

They start believing that their wants should be fulfilled immediately and without any conditions.

This then gets in the way of understanding the importance of patience, working hard, and earning their rewards.

2) Over-praising

Another behavior that can lead to raising spoiled and self-entitled children is over-praising.

While it’s important to acknowledge your child’s achievements and efforts, excessive praise, especially when it’s not warranted, can create a false sense of accomplishment in the child.

Over time, they might start expecting praise for even the smallest tasks and could become dependent on external validation.

This can also lead to them developing an inflated ego, and they may start believing that they are superior to others.

As psychologist Lisa Firestone explains, “When we overpraise or overindulge our kids, they get the sense that they are special – but not the good kind of special that we hope they will feel.

Rather, they may carry a sense of entitlement or expect life to be easy for them, which leaves them unprepared to face the challenges life will surely throw at them.”

It’s critical to strike a balance – praise your child when they truly deserve it, but also teach them the importance of self-satisfaction and intrinsic motivation.

3) Lack of set boundaries

The absence of clear boundaries is another behavior that can lead to raising self-entitled children.

Without established rules and consequences, children can grow up believing they can act without any restrictions or repercussions.

This can foster a sense of entitlement and a disregard for the rights and feelings of others.

Setting boundaries teaches children about respect, responsibility, and the consequences of their actions.

So don’t be afraid to be the bad guy — communicate these boundaries effectively and ensure they’re consistently reinforced.

4) Shielding from failure

As parents, it’s perfectly normal for us to want to protect our children from experiencing any form of disappointment or failure.

Unfortunately, while the intention is noble, consistently shielding children from these experiences can lead to the development of self-entitlement.

Children need to learn that failure is a part of life and often serves as a stepping stone towards success.

When they’re shielded from every disappointment, they may start believing that they are entitled to success without having to experience setbacks.

Teaching children how to cope with failure helps them develop resilience, empathy, and a realistic understanding of life’s ups and downs.

5) Neglecting to teach gratitude

How do you raise kids who don’t take what they have for granted?

Simple — teach them how to be grateful. 

Gratitude is a fundamental virtue that helps children appreciate the things they have, rather than constantly craving more.

When children aren’t taught to be thankful, they can develop a sense of entitlement where they feel they deserve everything without appreciating the effort or sacrifices made by others.

Encouraging your child to express gratitude regularly can help them develop empathy and a healthy perspective towards life’s blessings.

6) Failing to model humility

Another parental behavior that can lead to raising self-entitled children is failing to model humility.

Children learn a lot from observing their parents’ actions and attitudes.

If parents display arrogance or a lack of humility, children may mirror these behaviors, leading to a sense of self-entitlement.

Modeling humility involves:

  • Acknowledging your mistakes openly
  • Showing respect for all individuals regardless of their social status
  • Not boasting about your achievements

This behavior can help children understand that all people are equally valuable and deserving of respect.

7) Overcompensation

The final behavior that contributes to raising spoiled and self-entitled children is overcompensation.

As parents, it’s easy to fall into this trap—especially when guilt creeps in. Whether it’s due to a demanding job, a messy divorce, or simply not having enough time, parents often overcompensate by giving too much.

This might mean lavish gifts, no boundaries, or constant approval.

While the intention is to make up for what’s lacking, overcompensation can backfire. It teaches children to expect constant rewards and attention without earning them.

In the end, this leaves them ill-prepared for the realities of the world. 

Final thoughts

In conclusion, raising well-adjusted, respectful children requires a balance between love, discipline, and mindful parenting.

While many parents unknowingly engage in actions that foster entitlement, awareness is key to making positive changes.

By understanding the impact of these behaviors, parents can cultivate a nurturing environment that encourages empathy, responsibility, and a healthy sense of self.

Start by setting clear boundaries and adhering to them consistently. Teach your child about the importance of gratitude and humility, and allow them to experience failure as a part of their growth process.

Avoid overcompensating or giving into demands routinely, and ensure that praise is given when genuinely deserved.

Ultimately, the goal is to guide children toward becoming kind, capable individuals who appreciate both the boundaries set for them and the efforts made on their behalf.