We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

This essentially means that to look after others, you first need to take care of yourself.

But what happens when you prioritize your own needs in a relationship, often at the expense of your partner?

It’s not always glaringly obvious when this is happening. Sometimes, people who do this exhibit subtle behaviors that can be easy to overlook or even misinterpret.

In this article, we’ll delve into these subtle behaviors to help you identify if you or your partner might be prioritizing personal needs over shared ones.

Let’s get started.

1) They often steer the conversation towards themselves

We all love a good conversation—that’s why those people who always talk about themselves are so intolerable.

So if your partner does this, it could be a subtle sign that they’re prioritizing their own needs and experiences over yours.

It’s fine to share personal experiences, but it becomes a problem when it’s at the cost of listening to what your partner has to say.

2) They make unilateral decisions

I once dated someone who had a habit of making decisions that affected both of us without involving me in the process.

For instance, he once planned an entire vacation for us without consulting me on the dates or even the destination!

At the time, I saw it as him being spontaneous and romantic. But upon reflection, it was a clear sign that he was prioritizing his own desires over mine.

In a balanced relationship, both parties should have an equal say in decisions that affect them both.

So, beware of partners who consistently take matters into their own hands, even if it’s just a simple, “spontaneous” date.

3) They overlook their partner’s emotions

This is something that happened to me once.

I was in a relationship with someone who seemed to be so oblivious to my feelings.

I’d come home from a stressful day at work, hoping to vent and find some comfort in the presence of my partner. Instead, he’d brush off my concerns, quickly shifting focus to his day or his issues.

It felt as though my feelings were being sidelined while his took center stage.

If this happened to you too, remember that in a relationship, everyone’s emotions should be valued and acknowledged. It’s a two-way street.

4) They don’t make sacrifices

Like I said, a relationship is a two-way street, right?

It requires both partners to make sacrifices from time to time for the benefit of the other.

But some people always seem to have an excuse for why they can’t adjust their plans or step out of their comfort zone.

For instance, they might consistently decline invitations to events that are important to you or avoid activities that you enjoy but they don’t.

When this behavior becomes a pattern, it’s a sign that they’re putting their own needs and desires above yours. 

5) They rarely show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share someone else’s feelings, and it’s important in any relationship.

Surprisingly, though, a lot of us struggle with it, and it can be particularly hurtful if you have a partner who lacks it.

For example, when you’re upset or struggling, they may not offer comfort or try to understand your perspective. Instead, they may dismiss your feelings or even make you feel like you’re overreacting.

This lack of empathy can indicate that they’re prioritizing their own feelings and needs over yours. 

6) They often fail to acknowledge their partner’s achievements

Celebrating each other’s successes is an integral part of a relationship.

And I personally know how important that is because I used to date someone who would constantly undermine my successes.

I remember when I had just received a promotion at work, a milestone I had been working towards for a long time. But instead of sharing in my joy, my partner barely acknowledged it, quickly shifting the conversation to his own work stresses.

This behavior showed that he prioritized his own feelings over mine. Even in moments of my achievement, he failed to provide the support and enthusiasm I needed.

If you’ve experienced this in your own relationship, remember, in a balanced one, both partners should celebrate each other’s victories, big or small.

7) They neglect their partner

This might sound tough, but it’s the most crucial sign of a person who prioritizes their own needs over their partner’s.

If they consistently choose activities that they enjoy without considering what you might prefer, or they make decisions based on what’s most convenient for them without taking their your convenience into account, I’m sorry to say you’re being neglected.

Remember, in a healthy relationship, both partners’ needs should be considered and respected equally.

Final thoughts

So, you’ve recognized some of these subtle behaviors in yourself or your partner, and you don’t know what to do.

Don’t worry; awareness is the first step towards change.

A relationship involves a lot of give-and-take. It’s about meeting each other halfway, not one person doing all the bending.

Look out for these signs, but don’t let them discourage you. Change is possible, and it starts with acknowledging the problem.

Ask yourself: Are my actions respecting my partner’s needs, and vice versa? Open communication is key to addressing these behaviors.

And finally, remember that a relationship is meant to be a source of joy, growth, and mutual respect. Each partner should feel valued and prioritized.

Always be patient with yourself and your partner. Change takes time, but it’s worth the effort.